Freedom

Standing on the rooftop my toes standing off over the edge, I was fine. Just Peering down onto empty streets lit by streetlanterns blurred through the rain. I felt free standing there, freer than I had felt in the past months, maybe even years. I imagined what it would feel like to fly down in free fall and see the cracks on the pavement coming closer. I wondered what it would be like if I just let go. To untie my strings and float away like a helium balloon from the fair ground. I used to cry when that happened to me, but then my mum would get me a new one and everything would be okay again. Just like those sparkly balloons, someone sparklier, more interesting would fill up the space I left behind. Soon i would be no more than a dark thought pushed to the backs of people's minds I once cared about. That once cared about me. That worry about me. That are the reason I am standing here, alone, staring through a veil of rain and tears at the night time city.

It is only one step. I only have to move my right foot forward a few inches and then I am flying, faster than I had imagined. I start to see the details of the street below me. A crumpled wrapper. A heart, drawn with chalk, almost washed away by the rain. The floor is coming closer now and I am trying to recall what I did this for. I am paralysed, afraid of myself. I realise that the only person we cannot flee from is ourselves. The impact is painless.