Short Story by: IMAD UL ISLAM
Genre: Mystery and Crime
kill, blood, innocence, knife, corpse, jail
Submitted: December 12, 2012
© Copyright 2016 IMAD UL ISLAM. All rights reserved.
Very unsettling, well-written story. Remind me to stay away from bridges and rivers!
Ha ha ha....
BTW Thanks very much for the read.
Thanks for taking your time in reading and commenting.
Short, sad, and with a moral to the story no less. Well done, though your English was not perfect, it is certainly improving all the time.
The story is a little inconsistent. The mother had never told the daughter who had killed her father and she only remembers her brother as a memory from a dream, implying she must have been very young, not knowing now if she was an only child or not.
If years had passed, why would a dead body be rushed in an ambulance and how would they know who it was after so long being washed in a river?
Perhaps I missed something, or don't understand. I like the concept though, to hold on passing judgement, and to love before it is too late.
I am absolutely thankful to you MKKRINLER for taking your precious time in reading this story and leaving your BIG comment..
You said in your comment that the story is a little bit inconsistent....But I differ from you at this point....let us take it that way...
The girl was just 3 years old when her brother who was 10-12 years old killed her father or as it seemed to others..It is difficult for a 3 year old girl to remember whether she has a brother or not(alright)...After that the boy was taken to the jail (it is written in the story that he wrote in his note that "Now that I am freed from jail" and there, in the jail, he remained for 5-6 years. In that period no one came to meet him there, not even his mother, because she hated him the most. So, the girl didn't know anything about his brother.(OK).....Some 5-10 days ago the boy had written the note and then he fell/jumped into the river and drowned.... And then his mother and sister who was by that time 8-9 years old(and can remember dreams and tell it to others) were out for a morning walk and there they accidently found the note..and that's how her mother came to know about her son's innocence....MAKES ANY SENSE NOW???
And about that ambulance being rushed, I think it's not a big deal...(AGREED).....they say that I am kinda "RIGID"..
Thanks so much for the read and for the kind comment...
hi Imad it was a heart melting story...very emotional indeed..a very good message that always be attentive in any situation while walking on road...
ah!how they had came with sweet breeze of morning with twittering of birds in the morning to the bridge and how they lead to death..
Hello Badal:] Thanks very much for reading it thoughtfully and for leaving me such a nice comment...Regards
Nicely written .. very emotive.. a sad story...i liked the story..
Shaleheen thanks so much for giving it a read and leaving your kind words..Thanks very much...Regards..:)
Good imagination, very tragic end, touching work. Some silly mistakes are there try to reread and fix that like 2nd para "your father" not you father, "loss" hold not Los etc and this is also strange that girl is not aware of having her one more brother and father's tragedy through her relatives or neighbours etc
Anyways over all good......
Thanks for the lovely comment...I am glad that my work can touch someone's heart!...Yes, I will correct those "silly mistakes".....Yes I agree with you that it is strange that the girl is not aware of having her one more brother and father's tragedy through her relatives or neighbours etc. but not IMPOSSIBLE!!......... thanks a lot for reading this one and telling me what you thought!...Regards.
very touching ... that was really really goood .. i just really liked it ... well done ..... :) :) TC
Thanks meenakshi for taking your precious time in reading this story and leaving those kind words.....Thanks very much.....I am absolutely thankful to you......Regards and have a great day...:)
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