34 ways to send Professor McGonagall into a screaming fit

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

34 ways to send Professor McGonagall into a screaming fit

34 ways to send Professor McGonagall into a screaming fit
1. Tell her Trelawney is telling students that her orbs foretell a strong friendship between the two of them...
2. Ask her how she found out that the shandelier unscrews the other way.
3. Ask her if it's true that Harry is her and Dumbledore's grandchild...
4. "Are you like Professor Binns? Cos you've been here a HELL of a long time..."
5. Ask her how long her hair REALLY is
6. Watch her blow her nose and say, "That was bloody brilliant.”
7. Call her Minnie.
8. Tell her you wish you were in Slytherin.
9. Ask her how come her portrait's guarding the Gryffindor Common Room
10. "Is it true Dumbledore has a tattoo of Grindelwald on his..."
11. Ask if she ever transfigures anything 'just for lols'
12. Transfigure her hair pins into match sticks
13. Ask her whether she thinks it's animal cruelty to turn tortoises into teapots
14. Inquire as to whether she was in Hufflepuff
15. Ask her if she knew that the Patils are filing a law suit for child cruelty because Parvati is deathly afraid of mice…
16. Tell her you'll pay her to scream she's in love with Snape
17. Ask her to accompany you on the bagpipes
18. Ask her if she was cool about the whole Padma Patil moving into Gryffindor in fourth year thing.
19. Send her a tin of cat food for Christmas
20. Tell her you think Crookshanks has a 'thing' for her
21. After she's coughed mumble loudly, "Hairball..."
22. Ask her if babies are just cabbages that were transfigured
23. "So... What does Hagrid look like naked?"
24. Ask her if she does not like Umbridge because they have such a similar liking for cats?
25. Ask her if Seamus only got into Gryffindor because of her obvious favouritism for the Irish
26. Then laugh and say, WAIT you're Scottish aren't you? I always get those mixed up…
27. Present her with a copy of the book 'How to Relate to your Inner Cat'
28. "I bet I can guess what your Patronus is..."
29. "Now, tell me, seriously - is Dumbledore REALLY dead?!"
30. "Five stunners to the chest at your age... wow, it's a wonder you didn't cry!"
31. Sneeze whenever she comes near
32. Confess after her remarking that Hagrid shouldn't be trusted with such a task as taking baby Harry to the Dursleys that you gave him to Voldemort instead - he looked the trusting type...
33. Miaow loudly whenver she speaks
34. Put your hand up in class and start beckoning her with 'Here kitty kitty kitty, here kitty kitty kitty!’

Submitted: September 01, 2009

© Copyright 2022 imsosirius. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Whoever wrote this is a genius ;)

Sat, September 5th, 2009 12:38pm



Sat, September 5th, 2009 5:39am


lol that's so amusing :]

Sat, September 5th, 2009 8:24pm


haha thanks:)

Sat, September 5th, 2009 1:25pm


1,4,16,34,23 are bloody brilliant. So hilarious as the rest but these are favorites.

Fri, September 18th, 2009 3:53pm


:L thankyou :)

Fri, September 18th, 2009 11:10am


This was so funny :) I gave me an idea for a story...

Tue, December 8th, 2009 2:08am


awesome! :)

Sun, January 17th, 2010 4:07am


Hilarious Great Work

Thu, January 21st, 2010 10:10pm


thanks x

Thu, March 18th, 2010 12:18pm

Queen of hearts

most of those would probably land you in detention but they were amusing

Wed, September 29th, 2010 9:36pm

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