34 ways to send Professor McGonagall into a screaming fit

Article by: imsosirius

Reads: 863 | Likes: 1 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 9

1. Tell her Trelawney is telling students that her orbs foretell a strong friendship between the two of them...

2. Ask her how she found out that the shandelier unscrews the other way.

3. Ask her if it's true that Harry is her and Dumbledore's grandchild...

4. "Are you like Professor Binns? Cos you've been here a HELL of a long time..."

5. Ask her how long her hair REALLY is

6. Watch her blow her nose and say, "That was bloody brilliant.”

7. Call her Minnie.

8. Tell her you wish you were in Slytherin.

9. Ask her how come her portrait's guarding the Gryffindor Common Room

10. "Is it true Dumbledore has a tattoo of Grindelwald on his..."

11. Ask if she ever transfigures anything 'just for lols'

12. Transfigure her hair pins into match sticks

13. Ask her whether she thinks it's animal cruelty to turn tortoises into teapots

14. Inquire as to whether she was in Hufflepuff

15. Ask her if she knew that the Patils are filing a law suit for child cruelty because Parvati is deathly afraid of mice…

16. Tell her you'll pay her to scream she's in love with Snape

17. Ask her to accompany you on the bagpipes

18. Ask her if she was cool about the whole Padma Patil moving into Gryffindor in fourth year thing.

19. Send her a tin of cat food for Christmas

20. Tell her you think Crookshanks has a 'thing' for her

21. After she's coughed mumble loudly, "Hairball..."

22. Ask her if babies are just cabbages that were transfigured

23. "So... What does Hagrid look like naked?"

24. Ask her if she does not like Umbridge because they have such a similar liking for cats?

25. Ask her if Seamus only got into Gryffindor because of her obvious favouritism for the Irish

26. Then laugh and say, WAIT you're Scottish aren't you? I always get those mixed up…

27. Present her with a copy of the book 'How to Relate to your Inner Cat'

28. "I bet I can guess what your Patronus is..."

29. "Now, tell me, seriously - is Dumbledore REALLY dead?!"

30. "Five stunners to the chest at your age... wow, it's a wonder you didn't cry!"

31. Sneeze whenever she comes near

32. Confess after her remarking that Hagrid shouldn't be trusted with such a task as taking baby Harry to the Dursleys that you gave him to Voldemort instead - he looked the trusting type...

33. Miaow loudly whenver she speaks

34. Put your hand up in class and start beckoning her with 'Here kitty kitty kitty, here kitty kitty kitty!’

Submitted: September 01, 2009

Fan Fiction harry potter mcgonagall

Like
Shelfit

Add Your Comments:

Sign in to write a comment

Comments

FairytaleEndings

Whoever wrote this is a genius ;)

Sat, September 5th, 2009 12:38pm

Author
Reply

genii!

Sat, September 5th, 2009 5:39am

swimFire

lol that's so amusing :]

Sat, September 5th, 2009 8:24pm

Author
Reply

haha thanks:)

Sat, September 5th, 2009 1:25pm

Jelica

1,4,16,34,23 are bloody brilliant. So hilarious as the rest but these are favorites.

Fri, September 18th, 2009 3:53pm

Author
Reply

:L thankyou :)
x

Fri, September 18th, 2009 11:10am

RandomWolf

This was so funny :) I gave me an idea for a story...

Tue, December 8th, 2009 2:08am

Author
Reply

awesome! :)

Sun, January 17th, 2010 4:07am

Keegan

Hilarious Great Work

Thu, January 21st, 2010 10:10pm

Author
Reply

thanks x

Thu, March 18th, 2010 12:18pm

Queen of hearts

most of those would probably land you in detention but they were amusing

Wed, September 29th, 2010 9:36pm

Facebook Comments

Promoted

Girls Are: An Inspirational, Motivational & Confidence Building Coloring Book for Girls Aged 6-12

An inspirational, motivational & confidence buildi...Read More

by J.Long

Comfort in Time of Bereavement

Everyone in the world needs a copy of this book in...Read More

by Gerome Singleterry

The Clan of the Moon Wolf - The Watcher's Monk

A family find out they are descendants of the Tua ...Read More

by kelly morrow

Published a book? Promote it. →

Boosted Content from Other Authors

Boosted Content from Premium Members

How to Boost your writing