Still Nothing Changes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
A poem about bulimia.

Submitted: January 09, 2012

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Submitted: January 09, 2012

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I wake up, get dressed, but the mirror finds me

And tears fill my eyes as my ugliness blinds me

Head downstairs, and do things just to keep myself busy

Don't care what it is, must hide from the enemy

Leave for school, I'm outside, take a deep breath of air

I'm much safer now with no food anywhere

But as school comes in sight I feel painfully sick

Words hurt much more than a stone or a stick

The kids say I'm ugly and stupid and fat

Retarded, unpopular, worthless and all that

The teachers don't notice the pain I endure

They only notice me when I get the worst score

Then they make me tell everyone else my mark

'She's not stupid, just not bright' was your witty remark

And suddenly the whole class was laughing at me

I'm not a human being, it's quite plain to see

I go home just to cry, and after 24 hours

Of not eating a thing, here I devour

Pizza, chocolate, biscuits and cake

Don't bite, don't chew, just take, take, take

When I begin to slow down and it begins to sink in

How much that I ate, the panic sets in

I run up the stairs, against time I race

With my head over the bowl, tears streaming down my face

Shove my fingers down my throat, loosen up the pain

Relief washes over me as I'm in control again

Cover my tracks, brush my teeth, say this is the last time

I'll never binge like that again, I mean it this time

But the next morning I wake up at 7am

And the exact same day plays over again


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