A bullying story
Hey. Thanks for taking the time to read this. You are probably reading this for a variety of reasons. Maybe you are bullied and need to find someone who went through it. Maybe you are the individuals who bullied me. The boys waiting to see if I mention their names or find something they can use to get me in trouble at school. Maybe you have figured out who I am, and you want to know why I was always crying at school. After reading this. You will hopefully give a few minutes to consider the damage you can do with your words. Hey. Maybe you will apologize finally to someone you hurt. This is the raw truth. The is my real struggle. And this is not a once in a million story. This is a common story that normally never gets told. But today, you get to see what has been silenced for so long.
To begin, I will introduce that I self harmed before I was bullied this year. I had battled self esteem issues. I had been damaged due to a family problem. But I recovered. My story begins in grade ten. Ah. Grade ten. I was a pretty average kid. I even had a boyfriend. One I had been with for five months previous to grade ten starting. Life wasn't that bad. But see, this was the beginning of a very long and hard battle. My boyfriend at the time, was a grade nine. He just came to the school and reconnected with some old friends. Little did I know, these friends weren't the greatest people to be around. At first, I let their disgusting jokes about self harm slide by. It continued for a while. But one day, I stood up. I was quite frankly sick of it. I told off the big \"king bee\" as I like to refer to him as. He laughed in my face. I stayed calm and walked away, and no longer engaged in conversation with him. I did not like him. To add to my story, I had my lovely best friend, my boyfriend, and the ''King Bee's\" best friend. I won't be giving them names though, for what they did was terrible. However, I have no contempt for them. I feel sorry for them. But I will get to that later. So anyways, once I stood up against this boy, I became the subject of the hate. Him and his bestfriend laughed at me, called me names and told my boyfriend and best friend things about me. My boyfriend and bestfriend never stood up for me. I became depressed even more. I started to cut myself because I felt that if they wouldn't stand up for me, and I got bullied, then something was wrong with ME. I started to hate myself more and more. I wrote fat all over me. I wrote ugly on every picture I had of myself. I cried myself to sleep and my grades dropped severely. One day, my mom told me to dump this guy. He was truly being a horrible boyfriend. So I did. The first weekend after the breakup on November 29, 2012, went quietly. There were the lovely tweets about how ugly I was. But nothing bad. Then, the next weekend, I went to twitter to see a threatening tweet saying, \"I'll huff, and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down. jk too lazy. I'll just set it on fire.\" I showed my mom. I was a little afraid, and quite frankly surprised that someone I had been with for seven months and I thought I loved and who loved me could do that. I started getting anxiety, worse and worse. I would panic in public because they would tweet to me that they were coming to the public location I said I was at. My \"best friend\" continued to associate with these lovely, great boys. Why? I have no idea. Maybe she needed attention. Whatever. Eventually I got sick of them being chosen over me. I told her to stop talking to me. The next day everyone at school seemed to know that I was depressed. Someone let the cat out of the bag. I wonder. So once I got rid of her, it got so much worse. By this time, the school office and police had been involved. The school just said \"Do not confront. Just report.\" So I did. Every day I went to school full of anxiety. I would get laughed at, screamed at, and called horrid, ridiculous names. I started to cry in the hallway. One day, my courage broke. I went up to the group, and confronted them. Despite my school's specific instructions. They laughed in my face and scattered away. Frightened by the fact that I confronted them. It was quite funny. I actually got quite emotional. But this moment was the moment when I realized how awesome it felt to stand up. But I didn't do it again for a while. I continued to report with no results. There was only one boy that was in trouble because he made a very serious threat. Well, nothing got better. Until 5 days before my final math exam. At this point I was failing with absolutely NO understanding of it. I had enough of them controlling me. I taught myself math and passed academic grade ten with a 55%. Thus began my quest to help others. It was in no way easy. I had suicidal thoughts frequently and got depressed. But I always stood myself up again. It took me until April 2013 to pull everything together. I began helping people via social media and stopped reporting to my school office. Their hands were tied anyways. I started confronting bullies and I started to build my profile as an anti bullying activist. Offering my help to anyone suffering. The point of this story is not to make everyone feel bad for me. Actually, all I want is to show the affects of bullying. To this day, 7 months after initial bullying began, I can not look at myself in the mirror without seeing imperfections. I second guess myself. I can't trust anyone enough to be their best friend. I cry myself to sleep still, wishing I looked different. But those are only the negative sides. This message is for all of you out there being bullied. Right now, it is hard. It is devestating and you feel alone. But please don't. Remember me. Remember this girl, that fought. Want to hear some positive things? I have now become involved in many aspects in the community to help eliminate bullying. I am stronger then I ever have been. I focus more on the beauty of life and personality and values then looks. Society teaches us looks matter. Our lives revolve around appearance. But, we would have no lives, no great discoveries, if we did not have these beautiful minds and beautiful values that stood up for the right thing that whoever believed in. Was Albert Enstein beautiful? No. But he made great discoveries. Was Rosa Parks a hottie? I don't know. All I know is that she stood up. What about Martin Luther King Jr.? What about Barack Obama? Winston Churchill? How do we know these people? By their great acts for humanity. This is how I see life. From now on, when someone is hurting you or you feel ugly. Think about amazing people. Was their face amazing? Or was it their great actions? I want you to be inspired and have courage now. Be bold and be yourself. I know I went a little off topic, but mentionning this stuff always boosts my self-esteem. You are a beautiful human. Never let anyone silence you by their actions or words. I did and ended up so messed up. Thankfully I pulled myself back up. Bullying is an ongoing problem in our society and we need to take action. See someone being bullied? Made fun of? Pushed around? Say something. Step in. Send emails to gouvernment officials, school officials, make social networking support groups to help those suffering have options. Make the small changes. Together we can all stop bullying. We can change society by doing little changes. But we all need to take action. Thanks for reading this. I hope it changed your view on things. :)
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