4 Evaindebt Rd. Minor Chaos. 9000

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this is not the address we moved into ...
I am certain it was

No 7 Heaven Circuit
Blissfully Yours 7000

Did we move or guests move in ? menopause , midlife crisis and skint
a lethal combo.

Considering a daily update or perhaps weekly ... or most likely monthly or perhaps not at all .

Copy Right All Mine ...

Muhahahhhahahahha

Did I mention we once lived at 7TH Heaven Circuit we moved in approx 20 years ago .

now without moving we apparently have changed address , this was never , of course THE plan .

THE plan quite naturally, was that we paid off the enormous amount of money we needed to borrow to purchase heaven and then work so hard to pay all the money back and eventually own it all by ourselves .so we could retire, happily spending our time at lawn bowls in the whitest of whites and making friends with Jack , traveling in the most luxurious Winabaggos to the remotest of areas to wonder at Gods creation,our evenings to be spent with full laps of never ending grandchildren whilst knitting them essentials that they wouldn't be seen dead in,sipping on a sherry. ( me that is, whilst knitting) not the grandchildren.

THE plan was to ensure that we avoided the usual lifestyle of pensioners, you know the way they live , spending waiting hours at the Doctors and having to eat cans of pet food .

THE plan went awry ( though I have no idea where a awry is lots of stuff seems to go there ) .

So Kit E Kat Pty . Ltd. look forward to a rise in your greed riddled corporate profits

My favorite flavor is the Seafood , I have tested this on family and friends and with slices of melba toast and a glass of bubbly one can hardly tell it's meant for big fat Tom, who at the time,lay in the corner watching with extreme interest as we nibbled away. his green eyes, greener with jealousy .

I think we moved overnight a "moonlight flit "my mummy used to call them when someone moved out of her rental properties without paying the rent and disappeared into some other county, some other town, some other endless run down two up two down with bad plumbing and so close together that the smell of your neighbors over boiled cabbage drifted in through the gaps between the glass and the timber in the windows or at least one hoped the cabbage was still being boiled for its one of those kind vegetables whose smell is unkind , not that of course mummies' were run down they just wouldn't have been considered living in the lap of luxury .The terraces had been left to her by a special uncle and on whose passing mummy was heard to say " I hope he left me Aunties jewels and not those ramshackle terraces , the jewels went "elsewhere" but she got the better end of the deal.

Hindsight and I are not friends in fact I try not to bring her into my life at all ,for she makes things sooooo much worse and unchangeable things are so ...well unchangeable,so why look back and regret , absolutely no reason at all,but I still do for I am Queen of woulda coulda shoulda....

So what brings me to the stage of being a penniless pensioner munching her way through the whiskas biscuits,while shivering under dirty blankies waiting to see the doctor and unable to afford heating ,you may ask , or I guess you may not .

Nothing cos I am not there yet (theres still mummies terraces).

There is a different address again for that home,I am not disclosing it ...I don't want you all popping around before I have unpacked .

At this moment I am living in the lap of luxury , or at least I have a roof over my head, cars and boats in the garage and a pool out the back next to the Hills Hoist ,I am lucky , we are lucky ,we are all lucky....( those of you dancing the Time Warp now stop and continue reading ) the bank is luckier for it owns all but a sparse .

I need to blame for this ... GFC ...no not a type O the GFC nothing finger licking good here .I need to blame a fall in the stock market ,dam the bear , I need to blame rising interest rates ,dam the Reserve, I need to blame the snivelling wretch that was once a"friend" that we invested our super money with and who has now done a magic trick and made it disappear , I need to blame God,I need to blame my husband , I need to blame the little boy who lives down the lane ...you will be beginning to notice a pattern here and rather than rant on with more , suffice is to say non of it is my fault , this of course due to the fact I am woman and taking into consideration the scariest thing about being "broke" is not being able to afford hair dye for I surely cannot look attractive munching on the cat food in a dirty blanket in the doctors waiting room with grey hair, no that would never do , one must keep up ones appearance.

Yes mid life crisis,menopause and skint moved in to no 7 Heaven Circuit and the address changed, our " Moonlight Flit " changed not just the street name of 4 Evaindebt which speaks for itself but the whole burb Minor Chaos is an unattractive area that leaves one feeling like one is living on shaky ground, never certain whether one should put the left foot in or the right foot out ,attempting to live a normal life at this address is an impossibility its walls seep with resentment and the air is heavy with worry breathed in deep in the wee small hours before the morning panic stations,that fills my ghastly blue kitchen full of lunch making ,breakfast munching freshly ironed uniforms and business suits... on the bright side for that is where one must always look ,we all have jobs and private schools to attend

So how to avoid the pending doom ?

next chapter perhaps for I have a plan,its not THE plan but a cunning plan a diabolical plan to rule the world ...are you up for that, Pinkie well are you ?

Submitted: July 19, 2012

Humor food cat debt midlife crisis

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Comments

Brian W

I will wait for the next chapter, this brought me a big smile and I can relate to much of it....A great write

Thu, July 19th, 2012 3:43am

Author
Reply

thanks enjoy your long week end

Wed, July 18th, 2012 10:37pm

Mike Stevens

"The scariest thing about being broke is not being able to afford hair dye." The whole thing was excellent, but that line made me laugh out load, and at 6.30 in the morning, with my parents sleeping next door, is NOT a good thing!

Thu, July 19th, 2012 1:53pm

Author
Reply

oh they might think you are Insane and you can't be for I am .

Thanks for the read

Thu, July 19th, 2012 6:57am

Jean Lagace

All is going well and good in Brisbane, I can see. You have to have been born a bloke to write like that. (Where I live, a bloke is someone who speaks english.) Nice work, Insane. Always a pleasure.

Thu, July 19th, 2012 5:58pm

Author
Reply

thanks Jean ... and I think I am a bloke anyway .

Thu, July 19th, 2012 2:46pm

dibbledabble

good write! strangely familiar, not that I need hair dye, though my daughter would disagree. I think we are all destined to be in hock till out dying day. And if we are not the goverment will have it in any case..I feel there is a masterplan just we are not to benefit from it.

Seriously a good write!

Thu, July 19th, 2012 9:15pm

Author
Reply

thanks Dibs

Thu, July 19th, 2012 2:45pm

Chris Gerard

You DO write like a bloke, and not in the sense Jean means. I hope you don't take that as a criticism, or wrorse, an insult; it's just how some of your writing comes across. And this is one of your best, notwithstanding the errors strewn hither and thither. I know we exchange frivolous banter, but I do think there is a serious writer lurking under that silky-smooth skin of yours. I think you've got the beginings of something excellent here. I enjoyed it immensely.

Thu, July 19th, 2012 9:21pm

Author
Reply

I pretend I am male ... not that I have P...s envy or anything , the only time that happens is at intervals at the Opera when the ladies is chocker and if I had one I could slip out side and see how far it could reach into the Sydney Harbour ...
I shall carry on writing this as my life slowly unravels

thanks for popping over ...

Thu, July 19th, 2012 2:44pm

Wilbur

You are funny beyond belief. It's as if I read it all in one breath, just as you wrote it, all in one breath - .

Maybe I inhaled as you exhaled? and what WERE you drinking?!

What a grand sad mad bad picture of slip-sliding away.

I remark on and wish I had ever used 'awry' and 'hindsight' as you have done herein.

Cheers and carry on - Connie

Thu, July 19th, 2012 11:51pm

Author
Reply

thanks Connie ...

Thu, July 19th, 2012 5:08pm

Dozy

Brought a smile to the face, Ms Membrane. Been there, done a lot of it...

Fri, July 20th, 2012 5:01am

Author
Reply

lol... well you know thats how it is ... hows you and your "booksie " career going ?

Thu, July 19th, 2012 11:10pm

Irwinagain

Enjoyed the read. Spent (spend) my life robbing Peter to pay Paul, two very worthwhile Saints, sadly Peter was never that wealthy and Paul is a greedy bugger! Brought a long (and free) smile to my face. Thank you.

Sun, July 22nd, 2012 8:00am

Author
Reply

no probs good to know your happy to visit these days ,,, thanks for reading I will let you know when I have devised my plan

Sun, July 22nd, 2012 2:05am

jmurch

Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain! Rocky horror picture show reference...well at least a visit by the song Time Warp. I keep paying the bills myself...when are they going to start paying me...per hour. I like the Bills...the Buffalo Bills...but I do not like the bills. It makes me trip over my empty wallet. Lol. I love your writing. It makes my day and the hours of overtime I put in far more worth the visit to Booksie!

Sun, July 22nd, 2012 11:45pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Murch

I am glad you picked up on the reference and of course realised that I am the

BRAIN ... :-) .

Sun, July 22nd, 2012 8:07pm

Sammy Wang Yang

I could clearly hear the "bloke" in you. Love the way you wrote that, like a rambling, quick speach, easily distracted english lass. But that WAS the plan all along right? No, not THE plan, but A plan, yeah?

Tue, July 24th, 2012 5:28pm

Author
Reply

yeh it was the plan ... I hope :-)

Tue, July 24th, 2012 11:28am

brucek

you at your finest. now if only life would cooperate! hang in there, and soon you will rule the world (no, really!)

Wed, July 25th, 2012 8:00am

Author
Reply

oh I know ... I have devised an evil and cunning and diabolical plan which I shall write about eventually at some point in time ,.

thanks for reading

Wed, July 25th, 2012 1:34am

El Steveo

lol, you renew my flagging faith that some women (only a tiny proportion, of course) do indeed have a sense of humour. Maybe this will outrage some girlies, but that only reinforces the previous observation, right?

Very clever and funny, crazy chick

Wed, August 22nd, 2012 3:22am

Author
Reply

it certainly does , I most certainly am ...

Have you written something new ? ? ?

I am keen for more ...

Tue, August 21st, 2012 11:43pm

garrycroft

I have read your poetry and liked them. I like this short story best,though, with its style, homour and surrealism.

Mon, October 1st, 2012 5:24pm

Author
Reply

thanks I like this too but it is to truthful ... I am breathing in my nightly dose now

Mon, October 1st, 2012 10:27am

attanasio

Your sense of humor comes naturally and that really shows here. I like the easy flow and the non forced humor, that by the way is rediculously funny!

Much enjoyed becuase it is both timeless and relateable!

Mon, November 26th, 2012 8:46pm

Author
Reply

thanks :-)

Tue, November 27th, 2012 12:24am