Unfortunatley this is what I do best, when I can not cope I run and believe me I do not go back or come back I stay away from what ever it is that I can not deal with, I always thought I was good at facing up to things and most things I am, but when it comes to love I am useless I always wear my heart on my sleeve and give to much, you think I would learn to keep my mouth shut, I am so angry with myself right now I end up giving, more than I ever get back I know you dont give to recieve I want to know what it is I am doing wrong all my life it has been this way I am left dissapointed and let down and upset one way or another I am so tired of feelings this way, I hope my heart freezes and never thaws again I do not want to feel the pain I have been feelings lately it is soul destroying and serves no purpose I do not want to become numb but that is the way things are going, the other night I spent the night with someone I love and have known for years when I say spent the night nothing happened I felt nothing he touched me and I felt nothing I might aswell have been dead and dead inside is how I feel so why should that be a surprize, my god I could plunge a knife into my heart and feel nothing I have a feeling I have been damaged beyond repair shattered and broken into a thousand pieces try putting that back together again.
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