My beautiful Girls

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is just another piece I put together for my two little girls. Not great I know but I try.

To the two little girls in my life, Kiera and Shana,
I can never fully express the love I have for ya.
These two little girls called Fragil and Spud,
Show me more love than anyone else could.
Everytime I see these two cuties,
My heart melts as I think these are my beauties.
No matter what happens with me and your mom,
Know for you I will never be gone.
For you two I have a lot of fear,
But only about what your lives will bear.
To my life you bring great joy,
I am really glad with me you are not coy.
Although this rhyme could not be soppier,
With you in my life I could not be happier.
The love I have for you two girls,
Will never change no matter what unfurls
For you my life I would put on the line,
Just to ensure that you two are fine.
To you two I could never tell a lie,
And from me you will never hear Goodbye


Submitted: September 09, 2010

© Copyright 2021 IrishinSpain. All rights reserved.

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Comments

scott 37

Soppier? This is a piece about love, soppy doesn't matter. Nicely done.

As for presentation I'd cut into your lines. Easily done here, you could just end with the rhymes...

Everytime I see these two cuties,
My heart melts as I think these are my beauties.
No matter what happens with me and your mom,
Know for you I will never be gone...

That sort of thing. Check out BAZ, he does a lot of rhyming stuff, his are great to look at. You can link his page through mine.

Wed, September 22nd, 2010 10:30pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Scott I will look at them again and will check out BAZ

Wed, September 22nd, 2010 5:29pm

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