believer?

Reads: 407  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 14

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Believe

you believed,

from the first moment,

one foot in front of the other,

you believed

 

even as you stepped up

onto the parapet

you believed

 

and as your foot

stepped off

the edge

you believed

 

an updraught

caused your body to

hesitate for a second

and you smiled

believing

before plummeting

 

 

I watched as

the red rubies

from your body

scattered in the rain

 

I had never believed

 

 

 


Submitted: March 14, 2013

© Copyright 2021 Irwinagain. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Km2

Wow! Paints a picture that's visually stunning. Vivid. Proud to be your first like and comment. Do check some of my work, if you like? I'm sure there's something you will enjoy.

Thu, March 14th, 2013 3:33pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for your comment. You are new to me so will pop over and check you out.

Thu, March 14th, 2013 8:43am

Mike Stevens

Another fine poem, Irwin!

Thu, March 14th, 2013 4:07pm

Author
Reply

Thank you sir.

Thu, March 14th, 2013 10:23am

dibbledabble

You pose a really fine question and one that is unfathomable. Is it better to die a believer or to live as a cynic? If we don't believe in something, if we don't believe in our selves then what is the point in existence?

I will go and further consider

Dibs

Sun, March 17th, 2013 9:48pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Dibs for your thoughtful comments. You pose more questions than answers but was life ever thus?

Sun, March 17th, 2013 11:42pm

air

OH my gosh, Wow! Yes, i don't know why i love this so much, but i do.
i guess that death is just that fascinating Ha.
but you have the gift of bringing to life
(pun intended heehee)

Mon, March 18th, 2013 11:21pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Katie for the comments and for stopping by.

Tue, March 19th, 2013 7:58am

annat2again

oh wow! You have to believe enough before taking any plunge - no matter what. You express that succinctly. Your last stanza almost romanticised the death - the belief held and the act was practically regal ("red rubies", "scattered in the rain")
Yet your firmness in not believing, last line, brings the reader back to earth with a thud. Because of course (most of us!) don't believe either.
Wonderful to see something from you.

Wed, March 20th, 2013 3:44am

Author
Reply

Wonderful to be able to write something, however meager! Thank you for bringing your comments to the piece and adding to it Anna.

Wed, March 20th, 2013 11:39am

bobthebuilder

Dang! Gave me chills! Really well done!

Fri, May 31st, 2013 3:20pm

Author
Reply

Thank you kind sir, much appreciated.

Fri, May 31st, 2013 2:15pm

palewriter

You're still an incredible writer that can affect the reader with your words that paint images upon the mind. Glad to see you're still here and writing. Great poem.

Tue, September 10th, 2013 11:32pm

Author
Reply

Thank you kind sir. Looking forward to reading your work. I'm a bit sterile at the moment and I find it hard to get going but I have confidence that my muse will return.

Tue, September 10th, 2013 11:21pm

palewriter

We're in the same boat. My pen has gone dry but hopefully I can come up with some ideas. I'll post some old ones in the meantime.

Wed, September 11th, 2013 1:14pm

Author
Reply

I look forward to reading some.

Thu, September 12th, 2013 2:03am

Desilu

Your wonderful economy with words adds immensely to the power of this poem.
Like Bob,it gave me chills too.
Dee.

Mon, September 16th, 2013 6:50pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for your comment, glad it chilled you.

Tue, September 17th, 2013 8:13am

Luke Mullen

This is good, the poem is very much in harmony- yet, still reflects the conflicting perspectives. It serves as both a good showcase of ability in the way you have constructed it, as well as food for thought. Luke

Mon, January 27th, 2014 8:55pm

Author
Reply

An insightful comment Luke which brings new perspective to the piece. Thank you.

Tue, January 28th, 2014 1:00am

glitter snow426

ah, I found it scary, well it truly gave me the chills. Great work

Sun, October 12th, 2014 11:51pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so glad you left a comment

Sun, October 12th, 2014 11:57pm

Godfrey Green

A cynical poem, Irwin, but a reality one. Whatever one may believe, one cannot just do a stupid thing and expect to be saved. Reminds me of a woman who, when her children ate filthy things off the floor, said not to worry because, "God will take care of us."

Fri, January 22nd, 2016 4:23pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Godfrey

Fri, January 22nd, 2016 2:41pm

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