August

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
When we meet that strange and beautiful individual, what else do people want?
I have no excuses anymore.

Submitted: October 10, 2008

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Submitted: October 10, 2008

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August 19, 2008

Break down.  Come on and just do it.  It could be so easy.  I could forget everything and disapear, for good.  There would be no one capable of stopping me, I wouldn't tell a soul.

But then I hear it, this strange comforting voice filled with hurt.  The room slowly unravels onto my damaged body, clouding me of sanity.  I embrass this chaos of a world spinning and others hating me, to simply listen to her words.

"I love you."

Time stops at that and I'm safe.  But it isn't always enough, because I need her by me.

Memories pull me back to a room of darkened escape.  There were no rules, no restrictions, no authority.  Her and I together.  The music is soaking into our flesh and soul as if we are cloths being drowned in ink.  Time is over, there is no reality and all I am  able to do is gaze upon her.  More tender than she thinks and more than I have ever known.  Her head tilts upward, loacking in on me.  Almost a silhouette, but outlined in light.  Her lips soft and small, I cannot help but place my fingers to them.  I close my eyes and run my hand upon her face, feeling every piece of her soul.

This whole escape, indulgence is loacked away from the naked eye.  Her and I together is unknown to the world.

No one would understand.

No one would care.

Still barely knowing oneanother, we jump right in for another ride.

Later

I'm still struggling.  I cannot let go of what I've done.  No one person can comprehend how twisted my mind has become.  I'm barely able to control myself.  Everyday is filled with guilt.  I'm not sure if it is because I got us in a car accident or because I ruined Sarah's promise.  I want to protect her and I can't.  She needs me and I need her.  Yet everyone is doing what they can to keep us away from oneanother, I'm cold and alone.  Shivering, wishing I had the arms of an angel upon me.  Well, maybe an unknown and fragile one.  I'm refusing to make peace with society until I get what I want.  And I want my freedom back.

I want her in my arms again.

If he never would have tossed me back, into the dust of failure, I wouldn't be here.

Am I glad?

Maybe she's correct.

I could be afraid.

But of what? I don't want anyone's love.  But Sarah's is there, thrusting its blinding radience at me.

Do I need closure?

Possibly.

Do I need pain/.

Yes.

What am I hiding?

No one knows.

I imagine those days of immoral love giving.  We are young and running.  Running toward the music, freedom, hope, our dreams, anything but reality.  Everyday I'm not with her, a piece of her breaks off and I feel in in me.  I know her pain.  I evaporate all she knows.

I love her.

I love you.

I love us.

I hate this.

I need you now.

Wishing I were dead, I cover my eyes as if I'm a child viewing pornographic scenes.  Why won't you allow me to escape?

"Heaven is not a place that you go when you die.  It's that moment in life that you actually feel alive."

It's true Sarah.  Believe me, you deserve a beautiful song, pure love, to live your dreams.  Don't let go babe.  I feel it as you do.

I'm more broken than I let on and I cannot, will not admit these thoughts.  In denial, you'll find my fear.  I choose to ignore what I can't change or fix.

Will someone take me from this place?

All I have are tears.


© Copyright 2020 Isis. All rights reserved.

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