You're Stupid

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
My past, and how bullying has affected me then, and now 4 years later.

Submitted: May 01, 2011

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Submitted: May 01, 2011

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My past... Is awful. I hate it. I never want to go back. And I thank God everyday that I don't have to. I was made fun of a lot when i was in Elementary. who hasn't been? The worst of it was in 5th grade. I hated it, everyday. The #1 comment I received was \"You're Stupid\" or along those terms. Now I'm going to be honest, I was really book smart. But street smarts i had about 50% of. I wasn't totally stupid and obliveious but I didn't know as much as the other kids. (in my defense the kids were too eager to grow up, so all their street smarts were like straighting hair everyday, all the cuss words you could imagine or well... lets just say dirty things... really dirty. and we were in 5th grade for crying out loud!!) so in all honesty I was pretty smart all around for what someone my age was SUPPOSE to know. Just about everyday I would get called \"stupid\" \"moron\" \"retarded\" \"idiot\" it didn't bother me the first couple of times, but after a while I began to think \"well if everyone thinks I'm stupid, then i really must be\" I know now that that totally isn't true. I remember this specific time, when a few of the kids on the bus had pins, and they were sticking it into the first layer of skin on their palms, and sticking it back out. so that way they could put their palms down and the needle wouldn't fall. I was smart enough not to do this. I don't handle pain very well either; so I didn't feel the need to try. Well some kids were mocking me saying I was too baby to try it. Well score #1 for peer pressure, I grabbed the pin out of one guys hand and was about to stick myself when one girl said \"no ------ don't even try, your going to probably kill yourself\" She must have thought she was being funny but I wanted to slap the **** out of her. I never told anyone what was going on. I would go home and cry for like 15 minutes then my mom got home and I couldn't let her see. I would fake sick sometimes just so I wouldn't have to go to school.

I was alone.

I've still never told anyone this. This hasn't been a problem since elementary, and this is the first time I've ever just... let it all out. There are more stories in which to come about my past. But this one bothers me the most. Now whenever someone calls me stupid (joking around) I get really angry and I don't say anything. Usually when someone has a \"blonde moment\" the first comment to come to mind is \"stupid\" right? No. I just say \"slick\" or \"nice going\" I never say \"stupid\" Just goes to show, that bullying is a huge problem, and can affect someone their whole life. I'm a freshman in high school now and it still bothers me. It probably always will. Don't judge someone, because everyone has their own battles they have to fight, and by insulting them, whether joking or not, it can hurt them big time.


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