Final State of Mind

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Last in the "State of Mind" series. Hope you enjoyed.

Submitted: December 19, 2007

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Submitted: December 19, 2007

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This is the end


The pain I use to feel
So black and cold
And unmitigated to the core
Now rather sublime,
These thoughts
That once tormented me
Now soft and sweet
This is my final state of mind.


I’ve wept
And bled
From my very soul
This state of mind
I used to know
Now sings to me
In soft sweet words
Of death and pain
So sublime
I once cried out
For help
How pathetic was I
I used to scream at myself
And wish I would die
But why
Because I was tortured
By these distraught thoughts
And all the pain and death
I had thought it brought
Was I wrong
Or did I overreact
At this silent attack
That dug into my mind
As if to find
A sanctuary
How had I been so blind
A constant state of fear
These voices that I would hear
I ran from them
And tried to escape
It was futile
I tried to deny them
But it brought only madness
And sadness
That crept into my soul
This is what she felt
In her dying hour
She cowered
And it pained her so
If only she had known
What I do now
And how
To accept it
Than all this sh*t
Would have left her
But she tried to fight
So brave
So foolish
How often they coincide
She tried to hide
From her abstract state of mind
And all she did find
Was pain and death
Insanity will not claim
Not like it claimed her
Not like before
I will accept
This abstractity
And no longer does it pull at me
And whisper of corruption
And deception
Now it inspires me
Like the goddess moon
Like this anarchy
Which I see
Not only in myself
But in you as well
But what the hell
Not like you care
But just in case you do
Let me say
If you haven’t noticed it
Than its okay
Even though I have
In everyone
Everyday
They don’t notice
And I don’t care
I’ve learned to live
With my unmitigated pain
And now it is rather sublime
And this is my final state of mind
I will no longer seek this thought
That never existed
As I lay there bleeding
I had seen it
But truly it is not real
Like truth
Breaking through
This barrier of fallacies
And this abstractity
Oh well
As I lay here now
I see how
I had been so foolish
So ignorant
I suppose I still am
Foolishness
Ignorance
And a complete lack of knowledge
Though I know it doesn’t exist
You cannot know something
But you can believe
And even if you do know
Does that make it true
I know that there’s evil
Inside of all of you
I know that god does not exist
I know that this
This utter state of pain
So intertwined
Will be my final state of mind


This is my final state of mind
A series of poems undefined
From the depths of my being
Forever they’ve been singing
To me a sweet symphony
Though all I could see was abstactity
This is my final state of mind
But not the last poem undefined


This isnt the end


For insanity knows not when to quit,
Oh well.


© Copyright 2017 Itsuwari. All rights reserved.

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