The Disappointment

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Thrillers  |  House: Booksie Classic

meet a child who had been cast out of her family and had given up on life. what she didn't know was that she would be recruited into a new family. this new family would train her to be a mercenary. but will she fit in or be cast out again is up to her.

Another day with my family. Another day in which my perfect twin sister is the apple of my parents’ eyes. Another day in which my sister is the center of attention and I’m on the outside. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve grown fond of the outside and have no problem with it anymore. But living my whole childhood on the outside of every family and friend outing had grown tiring very quickly. I was not seen nor heard. And that’s what everyone wanted. I was and still not the favorite twin. I never understood that since we’re TWINS, but what do I know. But I can understand, that though, we’re twins we’re nothing alike. I was never pretty, smart, or athletic like her. But I have my own good qualities. The problem I had was finding someone who could look at me and find them. People have only ever looked at me and saw that I was lacking compared to my sister. And now looking in from the outside, I can clearly see how it all spiraled out of control. Not her but me. And since its me, no one really knows this part of the story except for me.

Let’s go back to the beginning and clear some things up. Living on the outskirts of everything, I’ve adapted to the shadows. You could almost say that I became part of the shadows after awhile. And you know what they say, stay too long in the darkness and you start to become the darkness. I guess that’s what I am now. Darkness. No light left to save me. Well, that’s what people like to tell me anyway. But, really, who would realize that I became different, something else. I was no one.

Looking back, I could see that I was desperate for attention. Attention from anyone. And that’s how I willingly went with them. The first people who showed me any kind of affection. I say affection, but now I can say that it was simple sweet-talking. They saw a little kid who wanted love and deceived her for their own purposes. Despite this harsh talk, I still love them. I mean they are my parents (or you know what I mean). Their purposes that I just mentioned, well they wanted to raise someone that was born for battle, for war. They saw that I had the unique power or gift of seeing what everyone truly was, their inner demon you could say. I could easily asses a situation and tell you the weakness, the soft spot that you could attack. And that was why you could say that my parents chose my twin sister over me. My real parents, my friends, heck everyone around me didn’t like for me to walk up to them and reveal their weakness, their addiction. For that, I was cast out from any love or friendship that I was shown as a child.

My new parents raised me to be ruthless, and exact- show no mercy to no one because I will soon learn that I would never be shown any mercy. Now don’t get ahead of yourself. That doesn’t mean I never had any fun or never know what a family felt like anymore. No I had family, a new family. These new parents I had, I would soon learn that they weren’t just some weird kidnappers who went around looking for children who wouldn’t be missed. No, I learned that they were part of a specialized military group that was only known by a select few. This group, though, would eventually be known far and wide as the group who could get anything done and would be the first group to be called on any emergency. Who needs a President when you have a specialized group of mercenaries who could simply make your problem disappear. And I now became part of that group.

At first I was the part of the brains behind the operation, but as years went by the family realized that they couldn’t protect me 24/7. Sometimes they had to leave on missions and they couldn’t leave me unprotected. So I was trained quite young to be able to protect myself. And eventually, I went out by myself on missions because if I had the brains and means to protect myself there was no reason to be left behind doing nothing. And so I became a mercenary too.

And like I told you, it wasn’t all bad. I had siblings in a way, the other people in the group became like my brothers and sisters. But I was closest to this one guy in my family. His name was Augustus. Now don’t start thinking that I liked him romantically. No, it was simple. He came along with the parents when they first scouted me, and while the rents were arguing who would get to train me, he simply sat on the ground and talked to me. Yet he didn’t talk to me as one would with a child. He talked to me by talking at my level. Meaning he found a chess board and played chess with me. It might seem weird to you but to me who had this gift, I had a higher IQ than most people. And playing chess with a strategist like me, he formed the bond that would become a friendship that meant more to me than anything else in the world.

Augustus was the one who kept me sane from the insanity that became my life. I mean I was a mercenary ten-year-old. My real parents didn’t even know that I was missing since I went back home every now and then to keep up appearances. But I now was a ruthless child who went around the world killing people left and right. I soon became hardened on the inside, and all that stopped me from becoming like the monsters we killed was Augustus. He’s the one who kept me human, and that’s what I’ll always remember him as. Don’t start thinking he died because of my tone. No he’s still perfectly alive but I was the one who changed.

It went downhill one day when I was eighteen and went on a solo mission. It had been years by now that I had part of this family and I was exactly what they had wanted. I was breed for the battle field. But they miscalculated one thing. I had killed many people at this point, but they all deserved it, they were monsters. What I never done up till this point was kill a child, because I thought, no, believed that children are innocent in this world. But who was I kidding. I was killing people when I was a child and I am certainly not innocent. Anyway I was on this mission and my intel told me that this village was doing evil unspeakable things to the villages nearby. And so I set out to do my job. I had already scouted out the region for weeks now and could not find this village from the intel. Until one day, I saw this child bleeding and crying out for help. The last part of goodness in me would help any child in need because honestly any child in need reminded me of myself. So I followed this child to help him. He led me to his village and right into his trap.

The entire village was composed of children. But there was something wrong with them. It was hard to describe in words. It simply seemed as if they had succumbed to the evil that was done to them. They reminded me of myself at that age who was rejected and cast out by the world. And I would have become them if it wasn’t for Augustus to keep me sane. These children didn’t have that person to keep them human. They gave in and now they were simple the next evil in the world. But I simply couldn’t kill children no matter how much my mind screamed at me that that was the only option to save innocent people. In my indecision, they had jumped me trying to kill and destroy the intrusion that I was to the village. Yet no matter how much they hurt me, I still couldn’t kill them.

My mind was rebelling to what I was seeing. Children were killing people who had fallen for the same rouse as I did. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill children. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. I COULDN’T DO IT.

But seeing innocent people being slaughtered in front of me made my training go into action. My mind went into a haze and my body went on autopilot. I threw the children off of me and I started slaughtering them. By the time my mind came out from the haze it was in I had already finished it. I looked around and saw the mutilated bodies of children on the ground. I was covered in blood.

It didn’t matter that I saved countless people from dying by being lured in by these seemingly innocent children. I had killed little babies. The last shred of humanity left in me had died. I had become a monster. I snapped. My horror at my actions sent me into another trance.

Event today, I still don’t remember what I did, if I had hurt or destroyed anyone or anything. No one will tell me and I guess that it is for the best. But I know what did happen after that. My father, or adopted father anyway, was sent in after me to eliminate the threat I had become. But surprisingly he didn’t kill me. That’s what family is for right. But, no, he shot me with a drug that put me into a coma for two years. And that’s where my life went out of control.

When I woke up everything was different. My father who had shot me was like another person. Thinking back on it now I guess I disappointed him. I was supposed to be this battle hardened little soldier he had raised and breed me to be, and I had broken down on the job. And Augustus. My precious friend and brother Augustus had cracked along with me. Unknowingly I had become his support over the years too. I was what kept him sane. And when I was shot to keep under control, he thought I had betrayed him. I had given up on both him and me. So when I woke up I had lost both my father and my irreplaceable best friend. Once again I was a disappointment to my family and cast out to the outside. How much lower can I fall. I mean I was kicked out of a mercenary group. I thought I had hit rock bottom and could go no lower.

How wrong I was. How very wrong.


Submitted: December 14, 2015

© Copyright 2021 iwanttosoarthesky. All rights reserved.

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