Feeling Sorry. - Paramore inspired

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
" I feel no sympathy, you live inside a cave. You barly get by the the rest of us a try there no use apologising ive got no time for feeling sorry."

Submitted: March 01, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 01, 2010



I sat in my room looking in the large mirror that stood infront of me. The girl looked back at me smiling, her full pink lips showing her pearly whites. Her blue eyes smiling and her died red hair blazing around her face. I stepped away from the girl that held onto all my secrets and picked up my phone of my bed. I looked at the screen. texts and texts. thirty to be exsact.

It was amazing to think we still lived in the same town. Just a few weeks back i would be with you every day. A year ago we first met and i would see you around town, around school, at the mall. Its werid how we still go to all the same places we used to, but weve become invisable to eachother.

Let me start from the begining. A few weeks ago was your twenty fourth birthday. The day We ended. The day i cried myself to sleep. The day you humiliated me infront of all my friends and family. The day you lost my heart.

We had been dating for just under a year. I was blissfully happy and thought i waas inlove with you. I dressed up in a white dress that i had bought specialy for you. I painted my face with beauty products that you liked me to wear and curled my naturally blonde hair. Yes can you remember it was blonde back then. I looked like such a girly girl. For ages i had dressed like this to make you happy. We both knew it was a joke, me being a pretty preppy girl that we both knew i wasnt. I skipped down the stairs well more like tripped. even after 10months of being with you i still hadnt mastered the evil invention called heels. You looked so smart. You had your pretty blonde hair swept over to the side and was wearing a smart shirt and jeans. I was so happy that i had a boyfriend like you, good looking, smart, caring. HAH! well i ran up to you and hugged you, handed you the box that contained a brand new rolex i had saved to buy you. I no it wasnt really much money for me, being the director of a reality television show and the lead singer of a rising band. But i thought you would appreciate it, seen as you didnt have that much money. You put it on and smiled at me saying it was great. I never realised but in the whole year i knew you, you never once told me you loved me. it was always "Yeah me too babe. " Or "I know i feel the same way." I never really minded back then but thinking about it now i feel sick to the core thinking about those words that seemed to mean so much to me.

The party was a blast. I spent the beggining clinging to your side, being happy as everyone told us how cute we were together. After a while i got bored of you ignoring me, but i just assumed it was because you were so excited to see people. Me and your sister when to dance on the dance floor. It was such a fun night. We all sang happy birthday to you and you opened tons of presants. It was going brilliantly. Once everyone left i looked around for you. I had one more supirse to give you. I searched and serched but the house was empty. Well that wasnt unusual seen as we shared a 4bedroom house. You always said it was to big for just the two of us but i secretly was hoping you would get the hint that it would be there for when we had children. Blehh the thought of having your children makes me sick. Discusting. If i had children with you i might as well of had slept with the devil.

So i went upstairs to our room. i heard a moaning. A squeek of the bed. Another moan. I thought maybe a couple had just come up here and didnt hear us chuck everyone out. I opened the door.

"Hey everyone else has left could you leave.......OH MY GOSH." I had screamed at the sight. You and my brother. on my bed. MY BED. MY BROTHER. if only i had known you were gay. Using me to get to my brother. Using me for money and status. My brother stood up and burst ouyt crying saying he hadnt known he was my boyfriend until tonight. True i never told my family we were dating. Incase something happend. Well something even worse happend for not telling them darling. You hooked up with my dear brother who has spent the last few weeks begging for my forgiveness.

Theres no need to apologise now because honestly i dont really care. Im scared for you. When you realise, and i mean really realise what youve done. The reality of what you runined. When it cuts through. Well i guess thats enough of the past. Let me tell you about the new me. The real me.

Im hitting the road with my band soon. My first songs are written about you my dear. The worst thing i can think of is that all this. The band, the road tour, the new guys and being able to be myself. if i had never seen you with my brother that night. All this. could have been you.

Aknock at my door brought me out of my daze. I ran down to the door and opened it expecting to see the bus with all thre band ready to hit the road. Its you.

"Hello can i help you?" I asked running a hand through my fire red hair. I wore a white top that had riot written across in orange writting. Skinny black jeans and converses. i looked hotter than ever. I looked modern and like the sexy rocker i was not some preppy blonde you had tryed to make me into.

"Look, Hayz im sorry please please tell me what i can do, i need you. i was only with your brother because it was my birthday. were not getting any younger babe, i wanted to try something new." You said looking at me flashing a dazzaling sorry look. A few weeks ago that look aould have made me drop to my knees.

"Dont look Hayz me ! You live in a cave! you block other peoples feelings out, look all the best lies are told with fingers crossed tight. So im going to cross them tight and tell you i dont love you anymore. Now your going to cross yours and tell me your going to get out and not think of me. But i really hope you do think of me, i hope it haunts you that you could have had all of this. The worst part is knowing that i might have never gotten to be me because of you. Im getting bored waiting for you, im not going to look back because theres no use, as you said were not getting any younger now." I shouted at you.

"But i need you, im sorry im such a bad person."

"You cant run from your shame baby. I feel no sympathy towards you."

A black van pulled up in my drive and a sexy drummer stepped out smiling at me and waving. I turned into my house and grabbed hold of two large suit cases.

"Look theres no need to apologise ive got no time now." i said shutting my door and walking to the van. After loading my bags i flicked my red hair and smiled at him.

"Ive got no time for feeling sorry." I smiled and kissed his lips the pulled back quickly. "Im a star now." I winked and jumped in the truck.

The guy driving looked at me and mouthed Are you ok..?  I looked at him and burst our crying.

After all you did you me . I still love you

© Copyright 2019 J E Hasker. All rights reserved.

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