Twisted Script

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: The Imaginarium


Punctuation is everything. Written for the sentence challenge for The Imaginarium House.

Submitted: February 07, 2018

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Submitted: February 07, 2018

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“I’m going to cook your mother.”

“Dinner for our anniversary?”

“Yeah.”

“That sounds delicious.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. But your mother is going to love being cooked for your anniversary.”

“Isn’t the day to start trying to cook a woman—?”

“Like your mom is a woman? Who cares about what’s inside as long as it tastes good?”

“The food, I mean—this is coming from a person who eats nothing but ramen noodles and hot pockets, right?”

“But everything you need to live can be found in ramen noodles and hot pockets. I’m pretty sure I could find every food group in your mother.”

“Well, every woman needs to be given some fine food to taste good. So I suppose you’re not feeding her ramen and hot pockets?”

“Of course not. It’s calzones and pasta.”

“Sounds like hot pockets and ramen to me.”

“Cut!” the director cried. He marched up to the two actors and snatched the scripts from their hands. “That was grotesque. What the devil are you reading?” His eyes scanned the page for several moments before he held up the script and addressed the studio. “Who messed with the script? Thought it’d be funny, did you?”

No one spoke a word, but several people appeared to be holding in laughs. The director shook his head and bent over the scripts, pulling out a pen. For several minutes he stood there, scribbling on the paper to correct the dialogue. Finally, he handed the actors the scripts with a sigh.

“Let’s go again, this time with the right dialogue.” He stepped back to his chair and called, “Action!”

“I’m going to cook your mother dinner for our anniversary.”

“Yeah? That sounds…”

“Delicious?”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”

“But your mother is going to love being cooked for.”

“Your anniversary isn’t the day to start trying to cook.”

“A woman like your mother is a woman who cares about what’s inside.”

“As long as it tastes good. The food, I mean.”

“This is coming from a person who eats nothing but ramen noodles and hot pockets.”

“Right, but everything you need to live can be found in ramen noodles and hot pockets. I’m pretty sure I could find every food group in—”

“Your mother—well, every woman— needs to be given some fine food to taste.”

“Good, so I suppose you’re not feeding her ramen and hot pockets?”

“Of course not. It’s calzones and pasta.”

“Sounds like hot pockets and ramen to me.”


© Copyright 2018 J. R. Merrick. All rights reserved.

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