Parent Me Parent - From the recieving end

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sometimes you can see a small kid, too young to have proper judgment, enticed into imitating his or her parents. Even though people usually laugh away at such imitations, a close study can reveal a lot about the family and the parents who heads over the institution. Family, they say, is the first and foremost institution. I used to notice people evaluate growing youths like us; any kind of impression we make always leads to the same questions: Who are his/her parents? What does his/her father do? What kind of mother does he/she have? What kind of family does he/she comes from? The things that we do, the vocabulary that we use, the kind of mindset we have, the character that we project, tells a story of our family background. We become our parents.

Submitted: July 11, 2012

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Submitted: July 11, 2012

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There is a saying that goes Sunhlu kungah thei dang a rah ngailo (Mizo proverb). Literally, it means ‘Gooseberry tree bears no other fruit but only gooseberry’; basically, it means ‘Like yields like’. Parenting is one hell of a burden, I can tell. Anyway, there are two ends of every administration regarding a system where there is a leader and the subjects. Family is a system wherein parents are the leaders and the children it’s subjects. The two ends are that of the parents’ end and that of the children’s end, the Giving end and the Receiving end. Nevertheless, there is still one interesting fact that remains: Children are, in one way or the other, the mirror image of their parents.

 When we were young I remember a lot of things we’d do, usually at the ends of our own emotion and got a good scolding for it. Growing up, spending some time away from the family for educational purposes, getting a different kind of atmosphere which can sometimes be really unpleasant yet made me stronger, gives me a certain new perspective on certain things that influence upbringing in the family. Maybe it’s age or something that sensitises the perception to notice all these things. Silly things they do that, lately, reminds me of my childhood emotions and reactions. Whenever I hear my dad or mom complain about things concerning our behaviour, I find myself thinking the question, but never asked it out loud: “Where do you think we learn all these from?” We have been nowhere but under our parents’ care since we can know it, we look up to them for everything tiny little thing that comes in our way. I must admit though, it sometimes is kind of funny and entertaining to see childish behaviours, which we remembered so well doing it ourselves, in our parents. Well, like yields like.

Sometimes you can see a small kid, too young to have proper judgment, enticed into imitating his or her parents. Even though people usually laugh away at such imitations, a close study can reveal a lot about the family and the parents who heads over the institution. Family, they say, is the first and foremost institution. I used to notice people evaluate growing youths like us; any kind of impression we make always leads to the same questions: Who are his/her parents? What does his/her father do? What kind of mother does he/she have? What kind of family does he/she comes from? The things that we do, the vocabulary that we use, the kind of mindset we have, the character that we project, tells a story of our family background. We become our parents.

In connection to this, the burden is usually and cleverly placed upon the children. Along comes all the to-do’s and not-to-do’s as a child of your parents. Rebukes follow blunders, more rebukes follow shame, still more rebukes follow the-so-called-loose-character and it goes on and on. If there is something I learn as I start off the third decade of my life, then this is one: my mistakes doesn’t go away because I prayed that it goes away, my mistakes doesn’t go away when I blame others for it, my mistakes doesn’t go away by self-righteousness; but, I can improve myself by learning from my mistakes and making sure I don’t commit the same mistake over and over again. Family is one institution where both parties learn; it is the first educational establishment for children and a self-assessment for the parents.

We become our parents. So, in a way, we become the mirror for our parents. No one can deny the necessity of didactic parenthood for the children, but this only corroborates to the importance of each parent’s character and individuality. Has it occurred to any parent that what your child does which irritates you is the exact same thing that has been subconsciously cultivated from your own behaviour? Sometimes we forget that our actions have results, and reactions that come right back at us. I often hear mothers complain about their sons’ or daughters’ temper and it usually turns out they are quite cantankerous themselves! Some parents are a little smarter; my dad used to say to me that I’m more educated than him now and that I should be able to nullify by shortcomings but never did he admit his own and at the same time didn’t either.

Nonetheless, gooseberry tree will always bear gooseberry. No matter how much you want an apple, you’re never going to get an apple out of a gooseberry tree. But there is an upside to that; with the proper nurturing and care, one can make a big difference between one hell of a tasty gooseberry or a bitter one, one that bears much fruit or a scanty harvest, one that provides shade for others or just another misplaced tree. My aunt’s garden has two types of star fruit (thei herhawt) – a sweet one and a sour one. Whenever it is in season we used to pluck star fruits from the sweet one, we never really eat much of the sour one. I for one never even bothered to look at the tree that bears sour fruits. And only the sweet ones give seeds for sweet star fruits, like yields like. Given the right amount of nurturing and care, the two trees will yet give their own kind of harvest; one will always be sweet, the other always sour. It is the parent seed that matters, the seed that has the quality and character to become either sweet or sour.

We of the offspring generation inherit in us the qualities that have been displayed right in front of our eyes ever since we arrived into this world. Take a long, good look at us and you will know the kind of family we come from, and you will come to know our parents – the ones who brought us up. There are a lot of new things we would want to develop and take responsibility for, but at the same time, we are the rough carbon copy of every parent that raised us. If any mother or father should complain about his or her child in any form be it moral or practical, I strongly belief it would help clear a lot of questions if the parent would take a good look into his or her own self. After all, where else do you think your kid has developed all these characters from? Family is the first institution, and I daresay the foremost.


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