Escaping Darkness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
An offer of honesty, and scars..

Submitted: December 23, 2011

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Submitted: December 23, 2011

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  I have tasted lips of ruby, and tainted lips that never bore a sweetness to me. I have danced along the edge of love, and sated my soles in the heated darkness of hate. I have swallowed the potions of forever life, and gaged at the taste of death. I have lost and found, misplaced and misused, remembered and forgotten how to hold fast, and how to let go.  I have dreamt, and I have nightmared, oh so many things…

Still, I have not accepted you.

 I have bathed in the ocean, and let the wind comb my locks for me. I have raced along forgotten roads, and laughed at what they revealed to me. I have taken the warmth from the sun, and buried it within my heart, knowing the clouds would keep my company in days to come. I have sang out to the stars, and gone out stepping with the new moon as he whispered secrets of the old. I have given myself to arms, and hands, and eyes that would never keep me too long before drowning me with ‘goodbye’…

Still, I have not welcomed you.

 Invoking magics I have never claimed to have, I have spun myself into oblivion and come back madder than the Hatter, and all his good time friends. And, as I returned, I found myself full. I could no longer up-heave the world’s negativity, which had all at once settled upon me. I wavered between this illness, and soothing madness until, I suspect, I found myself split in two...

Still, I have not submitted to you.

 And, in my hour of need, you were there. I saw your face, with my four eyes, and recall the wicked giggles that progressed as you lifted me from the madness, and from the sadness.. High pitched, and maddening, my giggles, and still they had no effect on your sound footing. You pulled the sunshine from my pocket, and made me bask in its warmth.. reminding me of the sunny days to come, no matter how low the lingering clouds took hold. You bathed my wounds in the oceans waves, and refused to let me be submerged in its vastness. And while I took to raving with words that neither Tweedle-Dee, nor Tweedle-Dum, could ever unravel, you listened with not a judging glance…

Still, I have not trusted you.

 And, now I sit... a raven upon your writing desk, lost in the words you have longed to confess. I read the words I was never meant to see, though your heart bore them upon the page... all but begging for someone – anyone- to read. The mites the linger in my onyx feathers help me to understand the words you saved for me, and at times I find my small-sharp eyes are wet with the tenderness you have transcribed. I read of your wanting, of your needing, and of your scarred heart. I ride the highs, and the lows, of your rollercoaster and knowing that watching the tragedy of my life has created the mountains and the valleys. I am struck dumb, and can speak only silence when I have known the loudest ‘caw’…

And now I have fallen before you, broken, for I have nothing left which I know how to give.

Do I bound into your arms? Am I to give you those same tender words others have recited to me? Or should I hold you as only madness has clung to me? Do I worship your kind hands that have known my body only to wash away the muck I chose to linger in? What sort of praise am I to layer upon you, that is without burden despite being weighty enough for you to understand the travesty you have removed me from? And, how shall I paint my love for you across the sky if the colors are too bright for any eye were the only to do you any justice?

Modest, and humble, you who want nothing from me... but to love me.

I have no choice, and love you in return…

 With trust, submission, welcoming, and acceptance...I offer all my heart to you. Should it please you, I would like to give you all that it keeps alive as well. I know, in my hands, it will not hold, for there are tears and wounds I cannot heal. You, who have healed all the rest of me, must know how to close the holes and hide every trace of every scar. That you can keep it healthy and happy far better than I, I have no doubt.

 


© Copyright 2017 JadAtHrt. All rights reserved.

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