Cracks In the Foundation

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
It is something I wrote and it has happened to me personally. It is horrifying but it shows how people are.

Submitted: March 14, 2014

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Submitted: March 14, 2014

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The nightmares are back and they keep me up at night. I am afraid to sleep, because when I close my eyes I see shadows and things that I cannot describe. They lurk in the darkness and scurry into the depths of my mind. They whisper such mean things to one another. I fear that my mind and subconscious have fallen into the dark never-ending abyss. I wake up only to find that I am slowly falling into the abyss of my mind. And at night when I close my eyes, I feel as if I am falling and I will fall forever, but then I hear the screams of a woman, I can't make out what she is saying but I can hear words. They are words of hatred and pain. She is afraid but she refuses to show it. She staggers back down the street alone. Fighting for her freedom. 

She is afraid that he will find her, the shadow that is lurking near. What is she to do? How is she supposed to feel? Fear? Anguish? Hopelessness? Despair? No she shows no emotions for her thoughts are jumbled. She has lost her sense of direction. She feels nothing, her body is numb but her mind is alert. She tries to move but its hopeless. She is unsure of what she can do to save herself. She hears the hateful things he is saying. How could he think that she could deserve something so perverse? Something so despicable? What did she ever do to him? She hears footsteps and something is being smashed but she is unsure of what it is. 

A car approaches from around the corner, a door is opened and closed within seconds. Why didn't they help her? Was that his get away ride? How could he leave her all alone like that? Did he think she was trash, not worthy enough to be helped? He couldn't give a shit about this innocent girl. But she wasn't innocent, she was soiled, but this wasn't the first time it had happened to her. He just added to her pain and anguish even more. How could he be so insensitive to her feelings? Doesn't he realize how fragile she is, even though she wont admit it?
She really was fragile but no one knew it, they shunned her for what had happened. Like she could of stopped it. Could she of? Or was he to powerful for her? No he wasn't he was worthless and weak, he had to wait until she was vulnerable before he could take what she wouldn't give him.

And yet she still couldnt figure out why? Why he chose her? Would he do it again? Or was she his first and only victim, because she wouldn't give it up? She was a flirt, but that was her cover. She hid behind the mask that showed her happiness, when deep down inside she was pleading for help. But who would help her through years of emotional baggage? Counselors were no help, her family didn't really care about her problems, most of them wouldn't talk to her, others were wrapped up in other things. She was in her own world. But she wasn't afraid, she was at peace in a way. But yet she still feared that someone would pull her from this world she made for herself. The only world that made sense to her anymore. 

A world that was made for her by her. She created a world that no one could penetrate. This world was made in her head. A place she would escape to whenever reality became to much to bear. That meant when she awoke from the nightmares that haunted her every night. That tortured her and made her beg and plead for help while she slept. 


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