Triangle

What I am getting from this is that you are one tip of the triangle with two other sides to you. - "I am a point, a tangible link between two others"

However, you later say "I am a point, alone and lost". A point on a triangle is never alone, so is this a metaphor I am missing or something esoteric?

I also did not quite understand the "When a triangle’s lost ropes, only lead to a ray of hope". Is that why people don't care? Because they see hope for you?

Otherwise, it's a very dark piece, with your "triangle" crumbling.

It took me a few more read-throughs to understand the point behind "a triangle’s lost ropes, only lead to a segment of hope". As a whole triangle is solid, full of hope, but broken up, "only segments of hope" :)

I've also come to a conclusion that your triangle has crumbled,, hence why "I am a point, a tangible link and later, "I am a point, alone and lost".

The only remark I have to make now, is in the repetition of saying "I am a point", in the 1st and 3rd line of the 3rd stanza.

I may bring things up, but don't feel obligated to change your writing. Only consider change if what I say makes you think and reinforces what you've been thinking about the said poem.
I am just a man with an opinion after all :)

Happy writing.

Well the repetition may be known as a flaw, yet I tend to think of it as a call sign of sorts. I am sorry if it stings the mind upon insert, but it's just how it came out.

It has occurred in a few other poems of mine as well.

Thank you once again for the critique and comment, truly appreciated.

J. R.

Hmm :( what I get is sad....The hopelessness that one feels when life is unfair and seems that no one cares. Anyway...great poem...and I don't read them much because I've found most are just rhymes with no context.

I really don't know what to say about this poem. The "triangle" theme seems totally out of context,EXCEPT in a "religious" vein.(No pun intended). About the only thing that made any sense in this, beside the "obscene loss of love and understanding" was the image of Christ,dying on the cross,"Excluded, polluted, diluted," with "Daddy"-(God) whispering secretly in his ear. This is all I could see.
"No more strings, except the things that you secretly converse." (BTW, Converse should be "convey")
So what exactly WERE you trying to "convey" here? Was this indeed an abstraction which tries to describe Christs pain and disillusionment? If not, then I am confused.

Excellent work on this poem! Very well written and I like the way you have this written out. Well done! :)

oh wow, so deep, powerful!! You have a cool way of writing, unique and special!