Blunder

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Taking courses in the summer wasn't his best idea but maybe it was worthwhile or maybe not.

Submitted: October 17, 2014

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Submitted: October 17, 2014

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“Hey kid”

“…”

5/26/14

Dear diary, journal, whatever the hell this is. My therapist suggested that I documented stuff so that in the future, well near future and she says, I can “look back and smile at what I’ve been through and what I’ve overcome”. Bullshit. F*** grammar. I’m typing this on my phone. It’s 2014. Screw paper and pen. I start summer classes at uni today and like a dumb ass I signed up for a class at 8am. I’m not a morning person at all. The world shouldn’t function until 12pm on weekdays and 2pm on weekends. Enough of this, I should listen to the teacher blab about the syllabus, at least the summer semester is only 3 months.

5/26/14

I think I should’ve added this to the entry above. Whatever. This semester is gonna suck, I mean, the classes are easy and all but man there are only 3 girls out of my 3 classes that look good. Thanks Obama (joking). I’m taking a nap.

5/28/14

Yeah, I’m only gonna write these entries on days I have class to pass the time. In other news there are now 4 girls that I find attractive in my classes. She’s in my math class. Duuuuuddddeeeeee. That’s all I can say and she has to sit next to me because of the lack of funds provided to buy chairs in this sorry place. It’s a community college btw. I’m thankful though.

6/2/14

Woke up late. S***. Whatever though.

6/4/14

My math teacher thinks he’s so “hip” and “funny”. I hate people like him. The girl next to me seems to laugh at his jokes. I guess I’ll just play along. Her name is Cecilia. I didn’t ask her, I got it from when the teacher called role. I’m a creep I guess...Nah everyone should know.

6/9/14

I think I’m gonna write Cecilia a note today (Yeah I know it’s childish but whatever). She seems cool. She has good handwriting lol.

6/11/14

No entry

6/16/14

I got her number (score!) but I don’t think she likes me or anything, she’s just a nice person. I’ll text her after class.

6/16/14

Wow. She’s really sweet. She said I smell nice lol. I guess that’s a compliment?

6/18/14

No entry

6/19/14

I know I said that I was gonna only write these on school days but I guess this is a make-up entry. Me and Cecilia are gonna...wait… Cecilia and I are going to see a movie tomorrow night. I’m surprised she said yes. I’m not the hottest lad in the world. Mind that I haven’t dated a girl in like 3 years. This probably isn’t even a date knowing my luck with girls (friendzone champ over here).

6/20/14

The movie sucked, but we a good time. She gave me a tight hug. I felt all warm and fuzzy. Well it is like 100 degrees outside. I was probably just about to have a heatstroke.

6/20/14

Well I’m lying in bed texting Cecilia. I like her. A lot. I mean a lot. We text all day and most of the night (She doesn’t stay up as long as me, but it’s cool.) She calls me a “kid” because she’s a few years older than me. None of that bothers me at tall. She just likes to joke around. Did I say that I love a girl with a sense of humor?

7/4/14

I skipped so many days of writing. Oh well. Pretty much every school day has been the same. Boring, but Cecilia makes it better. “Happy Birthday Murica!” is all I see on twitter today. Might as well stay off social media. I gotta pick up Cecilia anyway, BBQ at my house today. I wondered why we couldn’t go to her place but I who am I to question something so small?

7/4/14

Cecilia seems like she had a good time. I’m happy. She said that her family doesn’t really have “get togethers” or reunions much, so she was glad that I invited her over. My family loves her.

7/7/14

Wow time flies. Just on more month and this semester is over and done. Cecilia skipped today, but I had to stay or I’d lose my financial aid privileges. F*** me right? I’m taking a nap.

7/30/14

Yeah I know, it’s been weeks. I never really have the time to write anymore. I’m either talking to Cecilia in class or texting her at home. I just can’t stop talking to her. I love her. I’m pretty sure of it. More than sure. Definitely

8/4/14

Last day of class. This test should be easy. Cecilia and I studied all night. She’s not taking any classes in the fall so I won’t get to see her much since I’ll be working and going to school full time. It’s not like I have to work or anything. I just like to have my own money. Cecilia is going on a vacation with her family tomorrow for TWO WEEKS, and badly enough when she gets back fall semester will already have started.

8/7/14

I guess since school is out and I have s*** to do I’ll change up my entries. No dates just like a novel. I haven’t talked to Cecilia in two days. Eh I won’t mope around though, she’s probably just having fun. Good for her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days and I still haven’t heard a word from her. I’m worried. Ah maybe she has no service. She’s in France btw. I love her, well at least I think I do. I think about her all day every day. I even started listening to the “love songs” radio on Pandora, and I started watching chick flicks on Netflix. I mean I always liked sappy romantic movies. Lifetime was all my mom watched when I was younger so I grew to like them. It’s been so hot lately. So hot that I can smell the heat you know? Like there’s no air and you can smell every object around you. Hell probably smells like hot rocks and leather. Look at me. I’m so out of it that I’m getting all poetic.

*vibrate*

“Hey! OMG I’m so sorry my phone got lost in luggage and I didn’t have you number in my memory, and ugh my parents were so clingy. It was awful! I miss you…I hope you’re not upset”

“It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re okay. I was a little worried. I’m sorry that it was a drag.”

“Don’t worry about it. Hey I’ll be over in a min, is that cool with you?”

“Sure, I’ll meet you outside.”

God… I would have went crazy if she wouldn’t have texted me today. The smile that shaded my worried face took over like an eclipse. I should get ready. I want to get up, I have to get up, I just can’t right now. Being so worried over the past few days made it feel like there was an elephant dancing in my stomach. I was that low, and yes I know that it wasn’t that deep but ah I don’t know… I just can’t be without her in anyway. I couldn’t sleep. Thoughts about her plane crashing or some kind of Final Destination freak accident kept racing through my mind. I checked CNN to see of any of incidents occurred and thank God nothing was happening, just people arguing about a celebrity’s baby’s hair. Go America right? I’ll just suck it up and get in the shower. I don’t want to keep her waiting while I’m scrubbing dead skin off.

After that night she said “I’ll never go miles without you. I’ll stay right here as long as you want me.” Months past from August to October. Halloween was great. We went to this haunted house all the way in Pittsburgh. She said that her mom works at American Airlines, so she gets tickets really cheap. The haunted house was a horror (In a good way) I’m usually pretty tough when it comes to scary things, but oh my gosh, I wasn’t ready for the sharp teeth clowns, bloody Easter bunny, and buckets on top of buckets of blood. That was a memory that will never leave this fragile brain of mine, and guess what? Cecilia walked through it like it was a winter wonderland of lights, smiling, laughing (at me mostly), and just having a hoot. I don’t know about her but I will never step foot in that place again.

The leaves held their final breathes then winter came forward. I got a job at the local target. It’s pretty great. I want to save up for Cecilia’s Christmas present. While browsing Amazon I came across these beautiful pair of earrings, white gold and resting in its rightful place, a nice… eh average sized diamond. I know she’ll love it. Who wouldn’t? Cecilia invited me to have thanksgiving dinner with her and her family (finally!). This will be my first time meeting her parents let alone her family. She doesn’t talk about them much but at the same time she doesn’t bash them or anything. Ugh I’m so nervous! I haven’t been this nervous since the time I had to perform a song with my vocal coach at a Christmas party back in 10th grade.

Well it’s Thanksgiving Day. Almost dinner time. Cecilia said she pick me up, which is kind of odd. I never knew she had a car. She always took the subway or the bus. I sat on my stoop, freezing my ass off, when a black 2015 range rover pulled up. I was scared. I thought some Russian mafia was gonna kidnap me or something! Then the window rolled down, so freaking slow if I should say, all I could see was a phone that lit in the drivers hand and behold! An angel from heaven poked her head out the window long dark hair, moon lit blue eyes but no wings. It was Cecilia.

“What are you stupid? Get in kid its freezing!”

Surprised I stared for a second and finally gained my motor skills to jump in.

“My god, when did you get this?” I asked.

“Ah” scratching the back of her head. “Since it came out the factory.” She said.

I just chuckled. I thought maybe it was just a rental or something. We drove through the city to the upper side. Living in the city during the winter months, pretty much every day feels like Christmas due to lights of the advertisements that pollute our minds with its lies and rays. It took a while but we finally pulled up to a nice, elegant building. A building that looked like a home that only the wealthiest would vacate.

“We’re here, kid.” Cecilia said

Looking at her in this light almost brings tears to my eyes. The lights from the holiday decorations reflect her Irish blues eyes. Her skin as white as the moon that beams through the side mirror, and her smile can stop ever single war in history. How can someone so smart, beautiful, and funny want someone like me? A f*** up, a loser, someone just so… average.

“Hey” snapping her fingers “You awake?”

“Oh…yeah…yeah.” I said with a sly smirk

“You live here?” I said, admiring the graceful home of an Irish princess

“Yep, all my life.” She said.

She never told me that she was rich or anything. Knowing how she always took the train or bus I never would’ve guessed. Well…If I think about it a lot of things make sense. The plane tickets, the vacation to France, and other small things.

We walked up to the door and were immediately greeted by a door man who spoke to Cecilia like they’ve known each other forever

“Hey sweetie, Oh! This must be…”

“Yep!” Cecilia said before her could utter any other word

“Nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you these past few months! Make sure to treat this young lady…

“Okay! Bye!” Cecilia said, not in a mean way but a comical father daughter way.

“Fine fine.” Said the door man

“Nice to meet you!” I yelled while Cecilia dragged me through the entrance.

Finally we made it to the main door. I was sweating uncontrollably. I popped out a pack of gum (Hot cinnamon, my favorite) hoping that it would calm me down only to make me sweat even more because it was so spicy.

“Oh calm down” Cecilia said

“It’s all cool. My parents can’t wait to meet you!”

“O...Okay…” I muttered.

We walked in a room full of elegant looking people, Gold watches, nice suits, and the whole nine yards. I was intimidated, but Cecilia told me to not worry about a thing. We slowly walked up to what it seemed like were the hosts of the party.

“Mom, Dad I’d like you to meet...”

“Ah! Finally!” Cecilia’s mother screamed before Cecilia could finish her sentence

She put her drink down and squeezed the heck out of me! She was such a loving woman.

“We’ve heard so much about you!” Cecilia’s slightly drunk mother said

“We’re glad we could finally meet you! Enjoy yourself! Have a drink! Oh! Diana you’re here!”

She suddenly shifted her attention to her friend. Cecilia and her dad laughed like it they were used to it.

“She’ll be fine” Cecilia said

“Dad”

“Nice to meet you son. Cecilia can’t utter a sentence without mentioning you. You must be something special to have her so crazy” Cecilia’s dad said as he chuckled

“You two enjoy yourselves I gotta go get your mom in check.”

“Okay dad” Cecilia said while hugging him

He ran off the see what his wife was up to. The entire night went smoothly. People laughed, ate, and some even passed out. I got over being nervous. Talking to some of Cecilia’s relatives I learned a little more about her, like how when she was younger she spent every summer in Ireland with her grandmother who sadly passed away last summer. As he night came to an end I couldn’t help but to have thoughts about Cecilia. What else has she not told me about? I brushed them off as best as I could and in the car on my way back home the end came near.

“You never told me about you parents.” I said quietly

“You never asked.” Cecilia said

“I mean I shouldn’t have to, you know?”

“Why is it such a big deal?” Cecilia said almost angrily

“It’s no…forget it.”

Cecilia pulled over

“No, what is it!”

I sighed “Why would someone like you even think about being with a person like me?”

“Because you’re better than most people.” Cecilia said

“Most?” I said mumbling

“Are you really getting upset over something that little?!” she said

“You think too much! You take the smallest things and turn them into a giant snowball of bad thoughts…”

“You act like you can’t function without me! When I came back from France this summer you looked like you hadn’t slept for days!”

“…” I couldn’t say a word.

“Really?” she said

“You need help if that’s true, I’m sorry.”

I open the car door without a second thought. My house was only a few blocks from where we were, so I decided to walk. She came running after me. The temperature must have been negative something. I couldn’t feel anything. Mentally and physically. After a minute she caught up to me

“Look…” she said

“I’m sorry… I just… I just don’t know.”

“…” I tried to hold in tears and words but I couldn’t keep them in

“I do have help! I see a therapist two times a week since I was 12! What do you know?! You never cared to ask where I always was for two hours every Tuesday and Thursday morning! You think I act the way on purpose!? You think I like to feel like I’m helpless? You think I like to be alone? What do you know? You’ve probably never felt sad a day in your life with all the money you have… no one could satisfy you unless they were a billionaire’s son…

“Money can’t buy happiness…everyone knows that, and f*** you.” She said as the snowflakes stuck to the tears of her white silk colored skin.

She walked away. She got into her black range rover. Cecilia. The eyes that I would get lost in, the person that I thought I’d never lose. Cecilia.

 

9/13/15

Seasons passed like seconds, days past faster than tears. I did nothing for myself. I dropped out, I quit my job. I couldn’t eat and I didn’t sleep. My mother called my therapist and she suggested that I stayed in a psychiatric hospital for a bit. I don’t know how they even got me to agree to it but now I’m thankful for it. I learned so many things. I learned of needs and wants. I learned to love the smallest things and to not corrupt them. My job took me back luckily. I still think of Cecilia. It’s only normal to. I write these while there aren’t any customers. It’s been a slow day. I don’t think anyone will come in. Oh wait

“Hi, Can I help you?”


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