DO NOT READ

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
just a piece of a persons life

Submitted: May 26, 2013

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Submitted: May 26, 2013

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This is the part where, you just don't know what's going on...

 

I'm in a foreign land called Jacksonville Florida, I'm living as a freeloader in my sister's house. I don't have a job, I have a hard time keeping up with the new life that I'm living in. I keep on asking why I was here, I don't even know if there should be a reason, 'cause I was waiting for one but everything just seems to be passive and pointless. There's nothing to begin with and I don't see no finish line. Reality keeps on contradicting my dreams.

 

I flew from Asia, to north America two months ago hoping that I could reset everything in my life, fix it and try to prove that I could do something. Later i just realized that bbeing here just made me fell into a cliff and I'm just hanging on a vulnerable root sticking out on the side of the cliff. I have to tell yah, I never blamed anybody for this. The mistakes I made finally beared fruits and it's poisonous. My life before was far too different, this is a first world country and everything under the sun is strange to me. I was never that smart to cope with all the normal people do.

 

I kept on praying for answers everyday, nothing. I just wanna stop hoping. but the more I give up the more there's reasons for me not to do so. I'm trapped, if suicide wasn't a bad thing I would've done that a long time ago. I'm so tired. I hate when somebody says they hate me when the fact that I didn't do nothing just makes me wanna say " you want something to hate about me?" well I can't do it 'cause she's four years old. She has tantrums and has a  lot of mood swings everyday. I had to deal with it because we live in the same roof, I'm her slave 'cause her parents paid to get me here, they feed me and it just makes me feel so vulnerable. I couldn't stand on my own. I couldn't leave, I got nowhere to go.

 

I absolutely did nothing in my life. I WANNA REVERSE EVERYTHING AND PROVE THAT I COULD BE SOMETHING


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