Luca's speech done, he closed his eyes and smiled, ever so slightly, as he allowed himself to succumb to a profoundly deep sleep.
End of Document
Submitted: July 28, 2008
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Comments
I liked it. But on the other hand, I agree with Tonant to a certain degree; I thought it had plenty of new ideas, except I thought it was "sparkling" enough. Good word choice, the writing flowed quite nicely, and I didn't notice any words spelled wrong... so overall give your self a pat on the back. It was very well written =)
~Maple Bowen
A fan, and always a fan
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tonant
Interesting and well enough written, however for my taste there were not enough new ideas, solid but not sparkling (for me).
Thu, August 28th, 2008 10:51amAuthor
Reply
I understand completely. This is more of a story I just thought would be fun to write and to practice my character development. I'm planning to post another one soon that will be more original conceptually. I'll let you know when I do so I can get your opinion.
Thu, August 28th, 2008 1:36pmThanks for commenting!