Let You Go

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Song Lyrics  |  House: Booksie Classic
A song a wrote from the top of my head. It's a response to a post I've seen earlier, and how I reacted to the events of my summer.

Recorded song is now posted on Instagram. Account name: jay2u.xp

References to Seasons by Danielle Brooks and to Eminem, I don't own anything regarding to or from Orange is the New Black, and if you are currently watching and haven't seen Season 7, then finish it first so you'll understand the references.

Submitted: August 03, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 03, 2019



You know
It’s a bit funny
How sudden things can change
But all you can do, when you can’t do anything
Is just to let it go

I was supposed to do an essay, but something caught my attention
A letter filled with pain to the public; a straining sensation
That I felt when I read it, yet I could not afford to care
Because I can’t weave myself back into that bullshit of a tale

I cannot tell, how I’m supposed to feel
I just wanted to help but I know that deal has been sealed
From the moment that I learned 
The truth after those lies and more and more from there
There are those things we fear; we bury them so we don’t have to feel
Those painful emotions or put ‘em out on someone else
But at some point, you gotta let it out into the air

Yeah, I can’t help but think
That things could’ve been different
Like if I were to start paying my own rent
But my lease is up, and so is the act
Like I gotta do some taxes, I’m not being evasive but this shit tends to get taxing
Trying to stay relaxed but it ain’t relaxing— while I avoid the facts
And to let you drag me deeper down into depression and sadness! 
It may seem like a personal attack, but this is not a diss
Or a calling out, or an angry fit, but more of an acknowledgement

And I get that I might have hyped you up 
All that “Baby” and “Babygirl” shit; it wasn’t a sign of love
Because I know “love”, and I felt like I betrayed that certain girl's trust
But back to the topic, it was my attempt to keep you well and alive
But even I know when to give up and stop trying and lying

I ain’t pissed off anymore, it was in a short burst
I *was* hurt, but I had already learned 
That I can’t do confrontations 
A revelation that I had when I was going to help
Was that I can’t change a person; they can only change themselves

Writing this off the top of my head 
But as I said, I can’t help or forget
At least that’s what I think I said, because I try not to think about it
Or at least get a guilty conscious because I can try to give less of a care
Life ain’t good, insightful, positive and it sure as hell ain’t fair

In fact, it’s a far cry from it
When you find out that the said person is an “addict”;
Listening to their self-consciousness, or that’s from my understanding of it
But I chose not to comment and at first, I felt kinda sick
Even with this, I stay away
I stray away, I say this now
So I, myself, can live another day

When I let you go, I meant complete and total detachment
Because if I stay, the negativity will only start latching
Onto me, if you decide to force yourself back into your bad habits
Like the self-deprivation and fucking relapsing!

Because I can’t continue to carry another’s burden 
So they can feel good about themselves while I’m hurtin’ 
And taking that weight on my back so I can go soul searchin’
Or at least to find someone besides you, so I can pass the stick to them
As the cycle never ends and continues

The seasons pass, but I won’t miss you
It ain’t hard to let you go because I know
That if I hold onto you, I’d only be hurting myself
I won’t forget what we did
More than you can remember, of what I said
But how can I continue to keep you up?
If you can’t support yourself, at least to the bare minimums

Because we’re nowhere near the end
But at least we’ve got time to spare
We’re young; the next person to come may seem like a godsend
A best friend, and I hope they could aid you 
But first, you, for yourself, has to afford to care, too

And as the pages flip, I have already realized my faults
Not from you or “us” but from my life and all
That I can’t hold onto things that slowly backs out of reach
I thought I wouldn't change or edit this but fuck the subtlety!

But here we are; another arc closes
Enclosed in, are short-lived memories that I choose
To store today and burn away in the flames 
I say this from the heart and the brain 
So I don’t pull myself back down into that same sack
Or start carrying it on my back before it tacks on, I officially end it here
At last, I let you go with no regrets, and it all fades down into blackness







© Copyright 2020 Jay Hill. All rights reserved.

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