The Re-Creation

Reads: 279  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short satire on an ancient poem.

Submitted: November 23, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 23, 2012

A A A

A A A


In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth, and there was nothing there except for the vast waters of the deep below. They were always there. God liked to go swimming in the waters that were down there. Sometimes he would come across a strange lizard-like thing; God called the strange lizard-like thing “fish” because he had no idea what else to call it. The lizard-like thing suggested that he create something called “light.” God laughed. “Again? You must be joking, that didn’t exactly work out well for your kind now did it, leather face?” The lizard-thing looked on in disapproval. “Just make it not dark.” Somewhere behind him the sky shook.

“I want you to create a “firmament’, said the lizard-thing.‘I want you to call it “sky.” God laughed a second time. “What has it been called for the last hundred million years?” The lizard-thing looked at him sternly. And so, he created sky. Then the lizard-thing told him to separate “the water that is down here, from the water that is up there.” “Oh,’ said God, you mean “rain?” The lizard thing sighed. “Waters above and waters below” just sounds more poetic just like, I don’t know, “firmament.” “Are we writing a poem?’, asked God. “You should, eventually,’ said the lizard-thing. “Cool.”

Then the lizard-thing said, “You know what was really great the last time? The sun. Once, as it was about to all end, I asked a dying tri-horn what his favorite thing about the planet was, you know, in case we had to do it all again which seemed certain under the circumstances. Do you know what he told me? The sun on his back during his annual mating dance.” God looked confused. “I never knew there was an annual mating dance.” “Well, it’s too late now, isn’t it?” God looked sheepish which was strange because sheep wouldn’t be his idea until the next day at lunch.

“Now comes the fun part’, said the lizard-thing. “Now we get to rep…’ “WE!!!’, said God sternly, ‘who is this WE? I don’t remember you getting this wholething started. How do you think you got here in the first place?” The lizard-thing looked dejected for about a second before rejoining ‘we have to replenish the EARTH robe boy!” All of a sudden, the lizard-thing felt a great fire roil along his back. He screamed in pain as God stood over him in a towering fury, to his dying day the lizard-thing would never forget the final words he would ever hear God speak before he disappeared into the ether, “WINGS DO YER THING!!!” The sea began to boil, the earth began to shake and a thunderous tail reached up to slap the now soaring lizard-thing out of the air and into the depths of God’s sea, and then God had an idea. Why not make a kind of beast that could enjoy such shenanigans along with him? And so, God created the monkey. A few days went by. Now there were people. God hadn’t expected that.


© Copyright 2020 Jay Johns. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments: