The Sunday Herald referred to him as a “Modern Day Knight,” not for being knighted by royalty for some great act or achievement but, for doing what any knight of old would do, protect his castle, his home, from an invader, using a crossbow and a sword.
It was only a few weeks ago, on a Thursday afternoon, when Jonathan, a 26 year old, scrawny comic book fanatic and owner of Jon’s Comics, closed up shop early to head to his home in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. When he entered his home however, he heard a sound coming from the back room, and froze in place, trying to listen for a reoccurrence to the sound. His thoughts flashed rapidly with comic book stories, thinking of what his fantasy heroes would do. The thoughts came up of costumed avengers, protectors, and personal delusions of grandeur.
Jonathan quietly shut the door behind him and removed his shoes so his socks may silence his steps across the tile floor, like a stealthy ninja. He dived, rolling back and forth through the living room, making his way behind the couch where he attempted to slowly, silently, drop to the floor, to avoid detection from the intruder, but landed more like a falling tree, echoing throughout the room. His hands stretched under the couch, in search of the pieces to his crossbow, a weapon he kept in his home rather than a gun, and they returned holding a couple pieces of black metal and a band.
Jonathan stood back up and tip-toed to the hallway entry, feeling that this was obviously the best way to walk without making a sound. It was not his steps however, that were the problem, as the metal pieces of the crossbow made enough noise to give him away as they clacked against each other when he fumbled with them, trying to assemble the crossbow.
Now finished with assembly, he slipped into to the hall, hugging the wall like the spies he idolized in the comics he was accustomed to reading, crossbow at his ready. He peered around each corner before spinning around the doorways, emulating cinematic law enforcement.
He heard the sounds from the back room start up again. “Stop in the name of justice?!” he exclaimed, inching up to the room. “I’m armed and will shoot, evildoer!” The sounds stopped for a second and Jonathan stepped into the room when he felt the force of the burglar push past him, knocking him to the ground.
“Aaah, shit!” the burglar yelled, attempting to regain his balance.
Jonathan pulled his weapon up toward the burglar to find it had already gone off in the commotion, but where he thought to himself. He glanced around the room to finally notice the burglar reaching behind himself to the bolt protruding from his ass.
Jonathan began to laugh at the lucky shot then pushed the thought aside and lunged up toward the guest room. He came running out of the room, toward the burglar, carrying a long, solid object concealed in plastic. The burglar, half-limping, tried to run to the front door, bolt still lodged in his butt cheek.
Jonathan raced toward him, struggling to remove the plastic from his second weapon, clumsily tripping over himself. The burglar sensed Jonathan gaining on him and pulled out a knife and raised it toward Jonathan, only to find him wielding a 4 foot long sword.
“Mine’s bigger!” Jonathan said with a snicker, before swinging the sword at the intruder. The blade missed and got lodged in the door frame.
“You’re a freaking maniac!” the burglar yelled, dropping his knife and struggling for the doorknob. He finally achieved opening the door and began to step outside as he felt the strike of the blade’s metal across his shoulder, knocking him to the ground.
The burglar reached for his shoulder, but felt no blood. The sword wasn’t sharp, but merely a dull-bladed art piece, yet was still an intimidating and heavy weapon.
“I surrender!” he said as he began to pull the pack off of his back, handing it over to Jonathan.
The officials that arrived couldn’t stop laughing at the two versions of the story: the crossbow, the sword, and Jonathan’s obsession with fantasy, which lead him into owning these items. It wasn’t long before Jonathan gained his 15 minutes of fame from local news reporters, being dubbed the nickname, “The Modern Day Knight.”
© Copyright 2016 Jayson Wyz. All rights reserved.
Short Story / Humor
Short Story / Humor
Short Story / Literary Fiction
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