My Dilemma

Reads: 127  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
My mental struggle with modern society.

Submitted: July 27, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 27, 2013

A A A

A A A


In my stupidity of youth I summed up the efforts of being an adult into one little slogan, “it's not that hard.” I examined all of the various aspects of sustaining myself I could then conceive of throughout adult-hood and managed to boil it down to an oversimplified version of the actuality. I took the most important bits and came out with the idea that living an independent life wasn't really that hard. I was so massively wrong. I underestimated the strength of the cumulative effect of all the small things. The little stresses that build up slowly, each piece being small itself, but adding to the total weight bit by bit until the load was impossible to carry. Now I realize that most of the forces that claim to be good in this world are the ones which fill my bag with all of the pieces that make it so heavy, so intolerable, so much so that I cannot see myself living by the rules of those who shape that unattainable picture of the American dream. "It's all bullshit, and it's bad for ya," so goes the slogan of George Carlin during one of his classic stand up comedy routines, and that truth I have found to be sustained throughout my adult experience. The pieces that I have glued together in child-hood, along with all of my wisdom at the present, represents a very complicated, and I must admit, a very negative view of the current structure of society. I have been living in a world that seems unsuited for me. This world was built for those who are content to toil in factories, or similar mundane customer service positions, only daydreaming of aspirations during periods of low activity during the day. Their misery is compounded daily by debt and by regrets, and by the realization of their current situation, most often being unaware of the strong forces that shape our modern society that made their plight and daily grief nearly inevitable. For those who wish to dumb down, and water down just about everything important, and exaggerate their accomplishments. For those who willfully remain ignorant of the pressing matters of our time, and of the global consequences of their daily actions, at the very least lacking the care of those consequences if conscious of them. I lack the ability to open the blinds, to open myself to this truly wicked world which I have mentally co-created with help from the actual reality of our society. The bastards, the demons, the witch doctors of the profit motive lurk about, though mostly hidden away from this backwoods farming area in the middle of the plains. Still I see their effects, I see them sitting in their mansions watching the fate of millions expressed by numbers that they gleefully gamble with, and I can't help but fight them. Yet, I work for them through every action I take in this existence; I am trapped as a slave to them. They have checkmated me, they did so before I was even allowed to participate in the game, and they've changed the rules so as to make it nearly impossible to reverse my position. They have cornered me into choosing between two options of living, and their option is far better than the other, as wicked as their offer is. More despicable, is the illusion that has been draped over my eyes of actually having a chance to change the rules, if only first I am willing to play by them. What a cruel joke. I willfully engage in all of the practices which further enhance the lives of those who have so much, and consequently sustain my own oppressed existence, all the while living with the shame that I am aware of what I am doing, of the injustice I help to perpetuate, and the billions of lives I make worse every day. So this slogan of my stupid youth has been shattered. The knowledge I have attained has suffocated that simple idea which so many seem to live by. But, it really is the only way to truly get by. Those who are very aware of the situation must lessen the load of the small things by choosing to completely ignore them, by being purposefully ignorant and ignorantly immoral, and by paying the masters for ignorance and slavery simultaneously. Looking to the masters for the answers, I find they have them and they're being practiced. Life is as good as it gets. Blessed are we Americans. We are ignorant slaves, striving for an idea that is both unattainable and completely devoid of consideration for our fellow human beings unlucky enough to be born in the cesspools of Africa, Latin America, or Southeast Asia. God bless us, for we are truly exceptional, considered second to only money and the profit motive. 


© Copyright 2017 jblnchrd. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More Editorial and Opinion Essays