Killing butterfiles

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Its a fictional book about the healthcare issues in Pakistan. Written in the perspective of a kid.

Submitted: October 31, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 31, 2019



June 25, 2011.


I think our teacher is trying to enslave us.

Now, I know what you're thinking, 'Kid, what the hell are you talking about, that's a teacher's job!' or 'You don't even know what that means,’ or even 'What the hell am I reading and why?' 'How did I get to this place reading a kid's diary?'

And you're right.

Why are you reading this?

But since you are, why not continue?

Basically, our teacher is making us write our thoughts and dreams and whatever is happening around us in this journal. He says no one will read it, not even him. That is a huge freaking lie, I think he usually checks our books to see what we write and maybe try and find some gossip. I mean, I know Caitlyn has a lot to say.  This is boring. I don't even want to do this, the only reason I am is cause  Sir Na-- The teacher is coming! Okay, okay, I am pretending to write. Words, words, uh, anime? Elon tusk, Area 51, and chicken strips. Okay, he's gone. Hehe. He said 'Good Job. Keep writing!' I don't know if he knows what this says. Oh well. . . Now I kinda feel bad. Nah! I think this is the most I will ever write. Yup. I'm never going to touch this again.




June 27, 2011.


Okay, I know I said I won't touch this again but my brothers are annoying me and my mom isn't doing anything about it and the wifi isn't working so I can't poetically write my feelings and post them on Tumblr like the angsty teen I am. And also dad said he went to get the milk. . . 2 days ago. Back to my brothers who do the stupidest of things like yanking my hair, flicking my forehead, and kicking me; which sounds like child abuse and is so I tried calling the police once and got grounded for a month. But the worst thing of all, pulling those poorly thought-out pranks. So I had enough and got back at them, a week ago they had stopped pranking each other and decided to work together to prank me but they don't know that I have become stronger and mastered their pathetic ways! So I googled some pranks. I switched Daniel's [my bro] deodorant with cream cheese and then I put red dye in the showerhead so when he realizes that it was cream cheese he would shower and it would look like blood. The final touch for Daniel's prank was that I painted the soap bar with clear nail polish. For Justin's [my other bro] prank, I know that he is greedy and eats all my junk food so I got a bowl of skittles and M&M's, mixed them together and wait for him to take it from me. I also covered onions with caramel and made it look like a caramel apple. Lastly, I couldn't decide if I should change the filling from Oreos to toothpaste or change the last doughnut’s filling with mayo. I ended up doing both. I got in trouble for it, but the look on their faces was worth it. Though most of these pranks were googled so I had my doubts but hey, you know what they say, you can always trust the internet. That's a lie don't do that.




July 5, 2011.


Mom says 'She's going to have a baby.' She's pregnant. Makes sense, she was getting moody a lot and getting a little pudgy. I hope its a girl. It would be better than two older brothers I have. I have already talked about them before, and their bro things. I really don't like them. If I have a sister then we can conspire against them and prank them like the prank me. Having a sister will be a dream. Don't think my brothers really have an opinion, they haven't said anything about it. I mean I was Jungshook. But what was more shocking was dad coming back from God knows where. Well, I have to do a lot of homework. Signing off.



July 27, 2011.


I can't write much because I have a test but Mom is really happy these days. She is letting me eat as much junk food as I want and even letting me go for getting a bad grade, I mean I got average grades but still. I don't know what's got her so happy but I never want it to go away. I think it's because the neighbor said she was 'glowing' or something. Glowing or whatever it is I hope it's not going.



August 5, 2011.


Mom is getting sick a lot in the morning and also she started getting baby clothes as gifts from random people as well as baby toys and other baby items. She doesn't like the taste of meat these days and now the whole house has to turn vegan, I mean what are we? Cows? Today mom found out the gender of the baby. Guess what? It's. . .

undefined as you can't keep someone confined in the gender they are-- Just Kidding! It's a girl. Yay!

I'm sleep deprived.



September 12, 2011.


Mom's being weird again. She only wants to eat pickles dipped in orange juice [ like ew no ] and stay in bed all day. Dad says she's just tired and we should let her rest and not disturb her. My mom isn't the only one acting weird my brothers have also stopped bothering me and don't pull any pranks anymore, not that its a bad thing, it just seems off like their planning something bigger or maybe their whole plan is to get me paranoid and then make a huge prank. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I tried bothering them they told me off and said they were working and to leave them alone. I mean I know you're in an older grade but that doesn't mean you can't have fun. Whatever, it's not like I wanted to hang out with them. B?K?.



September 18,  2011


Today we had all gone to the park because mom got a random boost of energy and decided to go for a walk, which I don't think is a good idea since I have some projects due, but eh, let's get rid of that stress. At least I can pet the dogs running around. I met one dog that was wearing a diaper his name was Pongo it was cute. I also have written a lot more than since I started this even after that assignment I am still writing. I guess it therapeutic or something it's not like I can rant to someone without them judging me in some way. Whatever.



October 10,  2011


Mom is having a lot of back pain. She is also more cranky because of not getting enough sleep, because of the back pain which because of the baby and it's just an endless cycle of pain and misery. I know I'm not writing a lot and contradicting everything I say about this being therapeutic, it seems only when I'm overcome with strong emotions that I decided to write. Sorry, I'm still in fancy writing mode after my English paper. I got more summative tasks crammed in one area and exams coming up add a cranky mother and a bad schedule with my lack of focus and procrastination; Yeah it's a mess.



October 14,  2011


What is with all these graded tasks?! So much to do in so little time! The exams are coming up, I'm not finished with my project, there are 3-4 tests this week only, there's a report due at 9 am, a presentation that my group won't work on and it's currently 4 am and I drank a little coffee and now I can't sleep. I'm gonna cry. Like I just wanna sleep that's all! What's with this school starting at 8?! I have to wake up at 6 in the morning and then I can't sleep when I come home cause there's too muCh HomEwoRk.

I'm gonna sue the school. It's also the spooky season which means dressing up! The only fun part of this life. I don't really know what I should go as. Probably something funny. My friend group has fun costumes they based it on their nicknames, One is going as an egg, one as a cat, one as a sheep, one as Imran Khan, and one as a duck. I think I'll be diabetes type 11.



November 8,  2011


It's mY bIrThdAy! What else am I supposed to write? Oh! Mom is less cranky. My brothers aren't really doing much. I got amazing presents! A drawing of my favorite female artist Demi Lovato by my friend, an angel necklace, BTS items, books, and sweaters along with other things. And a brownie with cookies, other sweets, and junk food! Also, I found out that a classmate has the same birthday as me! We are now friends.



November 17, 2011


It's my friend's Birthday! Also.

I have diabetes. Well, not really I got my blood tested cause I was feeling dizzy and sick after I ate too many sweets and it turns out I'm pre-diabetic. Oh, and Mom is experimenting with her hair a lot. Yea. Um. My brothers are now bothering me a little more, I guess, You know the usual wedgie or hair tugging. Dad's just working so I don't see him much. Yeah. I watched the Heathers.



December 4, 2011


Mom started to pack things for the baby; diapers, milk bottles, her clothes, and other items in a large bag. Dad has still been working but also helping mom around. I also got an average on my test, I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little disappointed in myself. I expected more grades but eh. I guess I'll still pass, but like, never mind. Signing off, Veronica from Heathers. :)



January 17, 2012.


Look at that, it's a new year! Not much has changed except Dad says Mom has to go to the hospital because the baby could come any day, and just in case, Mom should rest at the hospital so that Dad doesn't have to worry about the baby coming randomly in a Subway shop or something. Also, I think I have stopped growing height-wise, I'm really short. Mom says that I'm short because I sit around all day. I say it's genetics and 9/10 scientists agree with me. The other 1/10 is my Bio teacher. Now I could show you all the evidence and Punnett squares but I'm tired and you'll get bored and it's totally not cause I have just learned about this and so have little knowledge of it.  o - o



February 5, 2012


So, the baby was delivered, yeah, it was nasty.  She looked like a mole, like from G-force. But without the whiskers and glasses, wrapped in a pink blanket. We're supposed to leave Mom and the baby at the hospital, till they are ready to come back home. I don't know how some people look at that lump of human flesh and think 'aww that's cute.' Like no ew. Animals are cute. Baby animals are cuter, cats, dogs, giraffes, anything is better looking than that baby even that weird blobfish! Actually, scratch that blobfish looks amazing, babies can't compare.




February 14, 2012


Daisy. That's my baby sister's name. I admit she's already a pain in the butt. Well, technically she's not doing anything. It's my Mom. She makes me clean her bottles, diaper, make her milk, etc. I'm practically raising her. Ma says it's because I'm the oldest child that's not in college. Oh right you might be confused, I mean things have changed around here. My brothers just got into college and well that left me with a bigger bedroom and more responsibilities.



February 18, 2012


Friday - English test

Monday - Bio report

Wednesday - French assignment

Thursday - Chemistry lab report

Friday - Regret life choices of procrastination and finish my project while listening to the Heathers the musical.



March 10, 2012


I'm in class. It's a free lesson and well, when I have a ton of work to do that's due tomorrow, I procrastinate in any way possible which now is writing because the internet is not working. There’s not much to write. We have English next and our teacher isn't here. After that we have Math and then Biolog-- Oh my God we have Bio. I FORGOT TO DO THE WORKSHEET!



March 17, 2012


It is currently 4 am. I have to wake up in two hours and get ready for school and I'm still awake because I accidentally drank coffee which was supposed to help me stay awake long enough to do my work but now, I can't sleep. I am so dumb. I really dislike my past self for drinking it and thinking that if this were to happen 'my future self can deal with it.' no. NO, I CAN’T. I'm going to go cry.



April 1, 2012


I just wanna say that school's not important. Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog, 'WOOF' ya know.

Also, Daisy grows fast. Faster than most. I mean like she grabbed my brothers' phone and threw it in the trash. It was hilarious, he was panicking, ‘Where's my phone! Call my phone!’  When we called it, it was in the trash. Today was an okay day.


April 19, 2012


There's no wifi and it’s the vacation. And what am I supposed to? Go outside? So, I guess not much has changed, I mean why would it have? But um.  We got a cat! My grandmother has a cat who had two kittens, one white and one gray. Then when grandma had to go for her trip, the cat gave birth to three kittens. I wanted the gray one but Mom liked the golden one so that's how we got Garfield. Yes. Garfield. Deal with it.



July 5, 2014


It’s been a while since I wrote. I'm only writing now because I don't really know how to talk to someone about this. Daisy is eating less. There is absolutely no way she has bulimia, I mean she's only like 3. I think she's really sick. I don't know. Mom noticed too. They went to the doctors but nothing seems to be wrong. I'm worried.



July 19, 2014


She's getting worse. They put a drip on her so that she can get the nutrients that she needs. It's not good and she doesn't have the energy to play that much. There are a few things she eats like chicken nuggets and fish crackers.



July 24, 2014

My aunt has come to visit us. This is very important what I'm about to tell you. Ok. Lemme spill the Tea. I dislike my aunt very much. There. I said it. And I know you shouldn't hate and peace to the world, but like, no. I just don't like her. Like it seems like she's trying to get me to hate Daisy. I know she hates me too. Whatever I don't know what’s her damage. And since her name is aunt Heather, I can legally say, "What's your damage, Heather?" :)



September 1, 2014


She's in a coma. Daisy, I mean. She just got really sick after my aunt had the flu. We had to take her to the ICU. The doctors don't seem to be doing much. I'm praying. We all are.



September 12, 2014


We went to see her again in the ICU. There were so many tubes in her. The nurses and doctors are playing around. Doing nothing. It's BS. Blowing up rubber glove balloons and drawing effin' smiley faces. Do you really have nothing else to do than this? Aren't you supposed to help her get better? A woman came screaming, recording on her phone, saying that her daughter was in the ER with a high fever and no doctor came to help. I sympathize with her. We're in a similar situation. God. Somebody or something, please help her.





December 30, 2016



It's been a while. Things have been really tough. Mom is really depressed. We all are. My parents have been getting in a lot more fights. My brothers have left. They don't talk to us anymore. Obviously, we're a mess. I mean who wouldn't be if their child or sibling died? Remember that woman who came screaming? Her daughter got the help she needed. I guess it depends on how you react that you get the help you need. I hate this. I can't really talk to anyone about this. So why not just write my depression on paper? Never mind, that was bad. Exams are also coming up. F.

Well, I'll write later, I guess. Ya' know if I'm I don't kill myself first. Heh. For legal reasons that's a joke.









Hamza Mazhar, a 35-year-old teacher from Pakistan’s eastern city of Lahore, said he never wants to see the inside of a government hospital again. “My mother was taken to the hospital with an upper respiratory tract infection in February this year and doctors said she needed care in the hospital’s Intensive Care Unit (ICU),” he told IRIN. But the doctors in charge wanted the family to pay a bribe to get into the ICU, which had plenty of spare beds. They could not afford to pay. His mother was unable to get the treatment she needed and in March she died. Health care in Pakistan is identified as one of the country’s most corrupt sectors, according to surveys by Transparency International; general surveys suggest the majority of Pakistanis are unhappy with the health services they are offered. This is just one of the many challenges facing Pakistan’s health system.

I had written this story as, though fictional, it is based on a true story. I did have a baby sister, she was sick, and the doctors didn’t do much to help. This was when I realized how bad the Health sector of Pakistan really is. It doesn't matter if you were at the fanciest  Hospital or a government one. They all are the same. High cost with little to no actual help. Not to mention half of the doctors are unqualified and even just newly graduated med students, who have been put in the Intensive Care Unit or the Emergency Rooms with little to no knowledge or experience. The lack of qualified doctors in this country is because if there is someone who managed to get their education and passed with flying colors they are most likely to travel to another country to get better job opportunities, leaving the country that desperately needs it. One of the biggest threats to achieving patient-centered care in the workplace is each employee believing it’s up to someone else. The front desk staff thinks it’s the responsibility of the floor nurses. The floor nurses think it’s the responsibility of the physicians. Now, I’m not saying that everyone should be grounded here and not allowed to leave to pursue their careers or that there are no qualified doctors at all. But I am saying that unqualified ones shouldn’t be left in important areas unsupervised without any actual reason for them to be there. If they are there for experience then they should actually try to learn something or help. There are many problems but, there are ways in which they can be helped, for example, there is a lack of sufficient nutrition for children contributes to the high number of child and maternal deaths. Nearly 40 percent of children under-five are underweight and more than half are affected by stunting. Poor nutrition weakens the body’s natural defense mechanisms. But the report also says that malnutrition affects the Pakistani economy, with estimates that it costs the country 3 percent of GDP every year, particularly through reduced productivity in young adults. The government could also do more and so can the hospitals themselves like, use mobile clinics to go to the patient. Mobile clinics include clinics that provide primary care services, preventive care services, or dental care services from a van, truck, or bus equipped with all of the necessary technology to provide clinical services in underserved areas, both rural and urban. They can partner with or co-host pop-up clinics, and, team up with retail clinics. The hospitals don't even need to do that if they just make sure staff members understand their roles or even just setting a powerful motivator for the staff to do better, would help the whole system. There are many ways even just the smallest changes can have a major impact on what we have.






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