The best sayings and jokes of all time.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Lmao.

Submitted: May 03, 2009

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Submitted: May 03, 2009

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? Every day is not good, but there's good in everyday.

? I'm a lover not a fighter but I'll fight for what I love.

? People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

?What's past is prologue.

? Reality is for people who have no imagination.

? God is clever, not dishonest.

~ It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

~ The real problem with reality is there's no background music playing.

~ Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

~ I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.

~ Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is people's way of say, I quit!!!!

~ Sarcasm helps you to keep what you really think ofpeople a secret.

~ Whatever you think about me, I don't care, it can't be half as bad as what I think about you.

~ It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

~ I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.

* Rehab is for quitters.

*War doesn't determine who's right, it determines who's left.

*People think I'm crazy, but I'm just bored.

* Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

* Optimism: waiting for the mail, when you're homeless.

* Strangers have the best candy.

* Nothing in life is to be feared, it's only to be understood.

*Forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more.

I swear to drunk I'm not God.

I could tell my parents hated me, my bath toys were a toaster and a hairdryer.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, and pigs treat us as equals.

I can resist everything, except temptation.

>>Jokes

*Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her back yard??

Yeah, neither did she.

* What happened to the Indian that drank to much tea?

He drowned in his teepee.

* How do you confuse a blond?

Put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner!

How does she confuse you back?

She tells you she found the corner!

I can't remember anymore. DX If you have any you would like me to add, tell me and I'll give you credit.

If you took the time to read all of these, you are an amazing person, but have no life, loser. =]


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