I Wanted All my life I wanted to be two things when I grew up…An artist and a writer-But all I became was a world class screw up… I wanted to be a mother, but not when I was seventeen-I had too many plans-Too many dreams. I wanted to go to art school in New York City-Explore the world-Paint nature’s beauty. I wanted to love with all my heart-I wanted to make my big brother proud-I wanted to make a brand new start. I wanted to meet the man of my dreams someday…I wanted to get married-And maybe save some children along the way. I wanted horses and foster kids too-On a beautiful ranch-with a breathtaking view.I wanted to speak out against abuse-I wanted to feel whole-Not broken and confused. Okay, so nothing happened as planned-I never wrote the great novel or won a prize for my art-And sadly I never took a stand. I didn’t speak up and help our perfect resource-I didn’t help any of God’s children-For that my days are full of such remorse. I grew up way too quickly…Maybe that’s why I feel so old,And at a standstill-so lonely. But I did protect the five that saved me-From total self destruction.And I will always love them completely. And although they argue once in awhile-I know that when push comes to shove-For each other they would go that extra mile. They will always have each others back if need be,No matter what they go through,They’ll be there for each other for eternity. My dreams can never be reality, I know for me it’s too late.But they still have time to be anything that they want to be. Who knows maybe someday I’ll see Spenser’s art somewhere,I’ll read Stephi’s books-And Shannon’s tattoos I’ll proudly wear. I’ll watch Tanner drive in a big NASCAR race,And Blakelee will stop injustice and criminals in their tracks,And I’ll proudly say those are my greatest achievements as a tear streams down my face.
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