Together We Fade

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
James and Jade are soulmate -- at least that's what they think. When James slowly grow insane, Jade tried to keep their relationship, and both of them promised that they will be together, until death comes.

Submitted: December 13, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 13, 2011





James kneels in front of his lover’s body with bulging eyes.

She’s dead.

James take her petite hand in his, rubbing it vigorously as if it will return the life into her body. He can’t even sob. He doesn’t even want to blink. He doesn’t want to take his gaze off of the girl. She’s bleeding in every place, her once beautiful eyes are now dry and dark.

James leaned in slowly, kissing her cold lips, whispering her name on it, pleading for her to just get up and kiss him as usual.

“This can’t be real,” he murmured, feeling his tears started to roll down his cheeks. “This can’t be happening. She was alive a few hours ago.”

Clutching the girl’s lifeless corpse in his arms, he cradled her petite body silently, remembering those unforgettable moments he had with her before this tragedy happened.




He saw her for the first time in a random chatting website.

She was a stranger to him. So was him.

Her name was Jade. There was nothing special with her when James first saw her. She was a rather plain girl with freckles on her ivory skin, a little gift from the summer sun. She said “hi” first. James was totally bored so he replied. He actually expected for some sexy girls who are willing to open their tops seductively and entertain the eyes of their “viewers”.

Another chat, and another, another, another… until they became really close.

In James’ eyes she was a stranger who knew him via online, and there was no need to know her further. He did like her, she was a good person to talk to, though he didn’t want to say much. She rambled about everything happened in her day, and sometimes cried in front of the webcam when something pissed her off. James felt the need to protect her. How he wanted to extend his hands to embrace her and to wipe those tears away. But he couldn’t do anything. She was so far away.

Two years passed.

Jade was happy that day, really happy. She wore her best dress with some make-ups on her face. James couldn’t help but wonder why she did that. She was a simple girl, she didn’t care how she looks like. That time she looked really different. She was beautiful. The first word that James thought of when he saw her on that day.

“What’s the good news?” James chuckled, delighted to see how she smiled widely like that. “You look like you’re really happy.”

“Guess what,” Jade replied.

“You won something?”

“You’re pretty dumb!” she replied promptly. “Think of something more incredible!”

“I’m pretty slow in this kind of things.”

Her smile grew wider. A blush appeared on her face as she looked intensely at the webcam, almost as if she was looking right into James’ eyes. “I’m going to your place, next week.”

It was the biggest surprise he had ever got in his life. Pleasant, sudden. Something knotted inside his stomach, he suddenly felt so nervous. What should he wear when he meet her? Does he need to buy something for her? Will it be okay for her to stay in his house?

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” James shouted, feeling like shaking his computer screen. “You, you were just a moving picture built by billions of electronic dots!”

“Silly you!” she replied, laughing. Her eyes watered slightly from the laughter. Both of them were just laughing and laughing until their stomach hurt. And then they stared at each other through the webcam, no words exchanged.

“Can you… fetch me at the airport next week?” she was the first to talk. He nodded absent-mindedly.

“Sure. I will be early.”

For the rest of the week, they spend every chat talking about which place to go, what they would do the first time they meet, all the happy things they can have together.

James had no parents. He had. He used to. They kicked him out of the house because he was a drug addict on 15 years old. His family was rich and had quite a reputation. He was a disgrace.

All he did was to have fun, though. He never wanted to use those things. He wanted his parents’ attention, but what he got was their anger.

He had never seen them since.

Few friends, no siblings, no parents, all he had was Jade. Even though he knew that after she learned to know who is the real him, she would leave him right at the moment.

That also would be okay. James had almost forgotten the warmth of having someone to care about him. Even just for a while, if she would care about him, it would be more than wonderful




The airport was really crowded that day. James stood awkwardly among all of the other visitors. He had never been used to crowd. Thinking of just being among hundreds of bodies surrounding him made him wanted to vomit. If it’s not for Jade, he would just…


He turned around, and there was she, waving her hand at him.

“Help me with my suitcases!”

He stood there, blinked, as if wanted to assure himself that he was not dreaming.

“Hurry up, idiot!”

He blinked once more, and then ran toward her, carrying her heavy suitcases and put it on a trolley.

“How could you bring these many suitcases if you will only be here for two weeks?” James grumbled. “Girls are such complicated creatures.”

“Say all you want, you promised me yesterday that you would help, so just do it,” Jade replied.

Then both of them were drowned in silence and awkwardness.

“It’s… unbelievable, isn’t it?” James asked, his voice were just above whisper. “I mean… to meet you in person, like, in flesh, can be touched and not just moving pictures in computer screen.”

“I know.”

James turned to face her. She was simple. All she wore was black tank with white shorts and sunglasses on her head. Though in James’ eyes, she was awesome.

He extended his hand to touch her face tentatively. And then, to Jade’s surprise, held her close and tight, burying his face into her hair and stroked her back.

“You are real,” James said in her hair. “Human and in flesh and can be touched, can be felt, can be held tightly like this.”

Jade knew that the boy wasn’t someone who was fond to strangers, or even friends. Perhaps he was a loner. She could see from how he dressed in all black. She could even tell from the way he talked to her though only by the webcam, how he would duck and close his face with his hair, concealing it like black curtain. Circling her arms on his back, she leaned on his chest and just focused to the touch.

It was a wonderful moment. Their first physical touch. James inhaled deeply, smelling the fragrance of her hair. She smelled like sugar. Sweet.

“Okay, now we need to find a hotel,” she said, breaking the embrace. James was surprised when she broke the hug, surprised by the sudden empty feeling like before they hugged. And then came this thought to him that he won’t be able to hold her forever. He loved how she felt against him. Their bodies fitted for each other perfectly as if it was meant to be that way.

“Um, I actually have a free room at my house, if you want. At least it’s free,” James offered. Jade looked at him with cocked brow.

“You have just hugged me like there’s no tomorrow though we have just met today. If I stay at your place, would it be impossible that you won’t do anything to me?” she asked sarcastically.

“Oh, no, no, I won’t do anything. Promise. I was just glad to have met you. It felt so wonderful to meet a good friend, doesn’t it?” he replied, smiling. It was the first time he could smile sincerely after all those harsh times he had passed.

“Well… if you do something bad, I would immediately leave. Okay?”

“Okay. Come on, let’s get on the cab.”




He took her to every good place in his city. He enjoyed seeing her screaming when they both rode on a roller coaster in a theme park. It was wonderful to be with her. He feels like his heart is filled up with warmth. All the emptiness was gone, replaced by joy.

And then thirteen days passed. It feels like thirteen minutes. James enjoyed her company so much that he forgot she would eventually leave.

That day he took her to a beach to see sunset with her.

“Why do we have to go this far?” she was grumbling that time, complaining about having to get up to the peak of a hill.

“The sunset would be the best to see from here,” James replied. “Trust me, you will be satisfied.”

Jade mumbled some incoherent words. James put on a faint smile, keep walking in front of her. And then they finally arrived.

She was stunned, as he saw from her expression. Her eyes widened with awe, her lips parted slightly because of the scenery. He stood beside her, amazed to see how beautiful she was with the orange glare of sun shining her face.

“It’s… beautiful,” she declared. Her eyes didn’t even blink, not wanting to look away from it. “Getting on the peak of the hill really worth this.”

James didn’t say anything. He just stared at the sun. Orange and beautiful, though it will slowly set down and lost its beauty, replaced by the dull night sky.

This moment would also last. She would go. She would leave, and he would be left empty, lonely, yearning to be taken care of.

James wanted Jade.

Through all the time they have spent together. Those two years via internet, these thirteen days they recently experienced, physically touching, just inches from each other.

He was in love with her. His first love.

“Why don’t you say anything?” she asked, turning to face him. James smiled. He took her hand in his and used his other hand to stroke the side of her face.

“Tomorrow you will leave, and I don’t want that,” he whispered. “These thirteen days were real. It was fun. I have never been this happy before. Everyone ignored me, for everything I did, nobody appreciated me.”

They stared into each other’s eyes intensely, didn’t rip their gaze at all. James was nervous. Afraid. How if she didn’t like him? How if she actually had a boyfriend back there at her place? How if actually… he was nothing to her after all?

“And… what’s the purpose of you doing this?” Jade asked, her voice a bit shaking. James bit his pierced lower lip anxiously.

“I… I just wanted to say that these times I had with you were more than wonderful. You brought me the sparks of life, brought my soul back to my body,” he said, chuckling a little at the cheesy line he used. “But really, you have been a very important person to me.”

Another silence.

“Jade,” James called out. He wanted to duck, to conceal his face with his hair. He was shy, he didn’t want to see her rejecting him. But at the same time, he wanted to raise his face, to look at her like every gentleman does. “I am in love with you. Will you be my girlfriend?”

It was stated so boldly. James closed in the space between them, pressing their lips together softly. One, two, three seconds. She was stiff. She didn’t move at all. James clenched his fist in anxiety, he squeezed his eyes closed, not wanting to see the emotion passing on her face, whether she closed her eyes and enjoy the kiss or was opening them widely, fierce with hate.

Four seconds. She finally gave into the kiss. James could feel her delicate arms circled around his neck. It was heaven. The most wonderful seconds he had ever had in his life.

When they pulled back, her eyes were teary. She smiled to him. “Why didn’t you ask from the first time? Why now when I am going to leave you?”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was being stupid. I was afraid of everything, that you don’t like me, that actually you have someone else, that you would hate me.”

And he sank into the ground, crying, with her standing in front of him, embracing his head.

“Now I don’t want to go home,” Jade said, preening James’ black hair with her white and bony fingers. “I don’t want to go there and got separated with you.”

“Me too,” James replied, getting up on his shaky knees. “Me too, dear. You are my everything. Don’t ever go away.”

They kissed again, more softly, more intensely, and more passionately as the sun fades in the west, disappearing beyond the horizon.

That night they slept together. Cuddling and feeling each other’s skin. They were only 18, young budding adults. This kind of act may be too much. But they didn’t care. To spend the last night as good as possible was all that was in their thoughts. That moment was precious. Once in a lifetime.

As the clock ticked, time passed and it was finally time to say goodbye.

They hugged at the airport like there would never be tomorrow.

“I will come again, James, I promise,” she said between her sobs. James hugged her more tightly, clutching her hair and messed it up. He didn’t want to let go. “When I finished college, I will come again to find a job here. And then we will live together, build a happy family. We will love each other until death separates us.”

“I will wait for you. I will find a job and provide everything you need when you come back,” he replied. One last kiss and she pulled away.

“Jade!” she turned back to look at him. “I love you.”

She replied with a smile as she proceeded to the departure gate.




She then went to college and rarely had time to be online and chat with him. He also went to college. Though after class he would stupidly sit in front of the computer and opened the internet to check out if she was online or not. It was painful to go through days without her.

Five years passed. She graduated from college, and came back as a beautiful woman. She wore white tank with black blazer and a pencil skirt that day. They shared another warm embrace, feeling again all the familiarity and the love that was left cold.

“I missed you,” James whispered into her ear. “Years feel so torturing without you.”

“You know how hard it was for me to spend days because I keep on counting and counting?” she replied, voice trembling.

He held her face between his big, strong palms. They looked at each other, just satisfying their longing eyes. He was wearing all black attributes, his nose and lips still pierced, messy black hair and thick eyeliner framing his eyes.

“What the hell are you up to?” she asked with a small chuckle. “You look like steroid-addicted rock stars.”

“I managed rock bands, this is what I am,” he replied. “So what are you up to, now?”

“Just normal jobs. Accounting and stuffs. Not such a cool thing like being a rock star.”

He pulled her face softly but kissed her hard to stop her from talking. She smiled into the kiss. The world was theirs on that moment. They ignored the crowd in the airport.

“Come,” he said. His lips were swollen from the passionate kiss. “Let’s go to our new house.”




At first everything was smooth. They loved each other so deeply that they cannot be separated. Both of them did well at their jobs. She was a good accountant, and the bands he managed were all successful and popular.

Life was beautiful. When both of them got home from their tiring jobs, they would curl on the bed together, clutching each other, feeling each other. And then when they were done, they would take a bath to rinse all of the sweats sticking on their body. They would cuddle to sleep afterward.

But then things started to change. The bands James took care of either got signed by another labels or got some crisis that made the band’s members need to part ways. His business was slowly degrading. On the other hand, Jade became more and more successful. She kept being promoted.

James started to envy his own lover. He didn’t want to see her like that, walking forward without waiting for him. Kept getting promoted while he himself was nearly bankrupt.

And he bought drugs. Small amounts at first. Only methampethamine. Cheap and easy to get. She didn’t know. He got frustrated more and more each day, the drugs were the only thing to calm him down. Methampethamine wasn’t enough anymore. It changed to cocaine. She discovered the drugs he kept and they had a very huge quarrel.

“Why are you keeping these things?” she was angry. Her eyes looked like burning. But deep inside there was a hint of disappointment. “Why are you consuming these? Aren’t you happy? Aren’t you happy when I am with you?”

“I need to. It can calm me down.”

“Why not talk to me? I can give you advice. I can calm you down. Why need to rely on these stupid drugs? You are destroying yourself slowly.”

 “Because you are why I got frustrated!”

Jade was surprised. James panted heavily, his teeth gritted in anger.

“Well, look… I’m sorry. I don’t even know what I did,” she said softly. “But if it’s me who made you act like this, then please stop. I don’t want to destroy you.”

She walked slowly toward him, taking his hand in hers. Her hand was petite and soft, and was supposed to sooth his anger, but somehow it pissed him more. He envied her for everything she had. She had a smooth life, she had a great job, why bother to come and had a relationship with him?

He warded off her hand. Her eyes widened seeing how he acted toward her. This is the first time he acted like this.

“What’s wrong, James?”

“You don’t understand how I feel, how I got frustrated! It was all you! You got a great job, you got promoted, while I got all of my bands resigned. You were happy while I was sad!”

“Why do you think that way? We are both working our jobs. I work for you and you work for me. Isn’t that fair? When you get down like this, I can cheer you up. And with my job I can still support our life. Why would you get depressed?”

“You don’t understand. It’s always you who were happy.”

“Stop saying that, James, we are living together, don’t envy each other.”

His anger peaked up at that moment, and he squeezed her hand really hard. She winced at first, and then screamed, begging for mercy.

“Stop it! It hurts!” she pleaded.

He didn’t say anything, but let go of her hand, still staring angrily at her.

“What’s gotten into you?” Jade asked, her eyes watered because of the pain. “Why did you do this?”

He was struggling, trying his best to control his emotion, to bury the insane thoughts of killing her in the back of her head, trying to insert sanity into his head. As he eyed her petite figure closely, the memories from their past flooded his head. Those times when they went to the theme park together, when they both screamed while riding the roller coaster, the first kiss they shared as the sun sets beyond the horizon.

“What have I done?” he murmured under his breath.

Jade approached him hesitantly because he looked so troubled. “What’s wrong with you, James?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, his voice barely audible. “I don’t know, Jade. I’m being insane. I’m slowly losing my sanity.”

“Poor guy, don’t say that,” she whispered into his ear, embracing his lean body tightly. “You will sleep tight tonight, and then when you wake up, this will all just be a dream. Everything will be better.”

“You’re not angry for what I did to you?” he asked. Hesitant. Scared. Confused.

“Of course not,” she replied, smiling. She wiped away his angry tears slowly with her index finger. “You are the love of my life. We sometimes do mistakes. We sometimes get frustrated.”

He embraced her, tightly, crying his eyes out on her shoulders. “Please don’t leave me. Please forgive me.”

They remained like that for a long time, before she decided to stand up and took a shower.




As days passed by, James started to become more and more insane. He got angry easily, couldn’t control his emotion. The hatred and jealousy toward Jade slowly swallowed up the love he had for her.

“Why is it that you are luckier than me?” he asked her, one day. They were both sitting on the veranda, enjoying the cool breeze of November night.

“It’s not about luck, James. I kept getting promoted because I work well. Perhaps you need to improve your business in some aspects. Or perhaps this time I get promoted, and then later on your bands are going to be more popular than ever,” she replied softly, trying to calm her lover.

“That is so uncertain,” he snorted. “Don’t know when, don’t know how.”

“Oh dear,” Jade sighed. She leaned her back on the chair, totally out of idea.

“Hey, when later we get married, do you think your work alone will be enough to support us?” James asked again.

“I don’t think so. That’s why we need to save up,” she answered with eyes closed. “We are working together, James. It is just a problem of profit.”

“Working is all about profit,” he murmured.

“No, it isn’t. Working is how do you live by doing things you love.”

“Things, or people, or everything we love… they are fake, they are unreal. Give us happiness for a while, but don’t guarantee that the happiness will last forever.”

Jade was surprised for a minute, then she started speaking again. “Does it mean that I won’t be able to give you happiness forever?”

“You are my happiness, Jade,” James replied, his eyes unfocused. “Too bad that happiness is corrupting another happiness I have. My job.”

“Oh my God, James! I can’t understand why do you keep saying that over and over again!” Jade clutched her head in anger. “We are living together! We are working for each other. Does that job thingy make you frustrated too badly? Aren’t I here to make you happy? Why do you remain frustrated? Please! Just stop! I’m trying my best to make you happy, you act like I am not here and the only thing matters for you is your job!”

He bit his lower lip in anger and anguish, then look up to her. “You don’t know how the hell I feel.”

“Yes, I don’t know! That’s why you need to talk to me! Lately you just keep everything wrapped up for yourself, treat me like just a friend who doesn’t need to know anything!”

“Talking to you will just make me feel more miserable. I will envy you more.”

“Oh my God, what’s the matter with you? You changed, James! You changed in every single way! You are not that guy I knew. You are not that guy who sweetly asked me out, not that guy who would still say that I’m pretty even though I am not. You are a sad, frustrated, gloomy guy who emerged from the body of my lover.”

James froze at those words. She was right. Has he changed? Being too selfish to think about himself, and not thinking about her.

He clenched his fists in frustration. He doesn’t know exactly what emotion he would use in this condition. He wanted to cry in regret, shout in anger, scream in frustration.

An awkward silence. Then suddenly he heard the soft voice of his lover.

“I think we’re over, James.”

At that moment his rage peaked up, fear covered up his brain and he stood up, grabbing Jade’s wrists, gripping them tightly.

“You can’t do this to me,” he said with gritted teeth. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You did! You did a lot of mistakes, and I can’t stand it anymore! I need to go from you, you are slowly becoming a threat, James! Let me go,” she replied, her voice high and shaking. Tears started to leak from the corner of her eyes. She was scared.

“No, you won’t go anywhere!” he shouted. His eyes were furious. “You promised me that you would stay by my side forever!”

“How can I stay by your side when you are turning into a madman like this?!” she screamed even louder. She tried to break away from his grips, struggled so hard but she couldn’t. “Let go, James, I said let go!”

“I won’t! If I let you go, you would run into other man’s embrace,” he objected. As his fear increased, he felt his eyes watered. He was scared that she would leave him.


“Fine then!”

The poor girl was struggling so hard to pull away when he suddenly let go of his grips. She stumbled backward, and successfully landed on the marble floor.

James glared at her, slightly satisfied by the loud thud. A victorious feeling crept up his spine.

But then when he heard her whimper of pain, he realized what he had done.

“Christ!” he ran toward her, intending to fetch if there was any injury, but she warded off his hands.

“Do not touch me,” she murmured. Her voice was barely audible from resisting the pain on her back.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“No excuse, James,” she said sternly. “I’m moving out tonight.”

“No, please don’t do that. You couldn’t imagine how empty it will be for me without you by my side,” he pleaded. He was so scared he even started crying. “Don’t leave me. Please.”

“You’re insane, James,” she replied. She didn’t say anything else. Then, she tried to stand up. But she couldn’t, her back feels so painful she couldn’t even stand. James circled his arms around her shoulders and helped her stand up. He was being very gentle toward her, very careful, afraid to make her angry again, afraid to see her leaving him.

He carried her petite body in his arms. Slowly, he walked toward their room, putting her carefully on the bed.

“I… I know how to massage, if you want. A friend of mine taught me,” James said awkwardly. She couldn’t to resist the pain anymore, so she nodded, agreeing to his opinion. James started to undo Jade’s shirt, and massaged her back with his skilled hands.

“Oh, it feels good,” Jade murmured. “You know, you always act like a crazy guy, but then you quickly treat me so sweetly. Like tonight. The thought of breaking you up… suddenly evaporated from my mind.”

“Good to hear that,” James replied with a smile. “I just… can’t imagine you with other guys… I know I’m crazy, but I have my own way to love you.”

“Sweet,” she chuckled.

So that night James sat beside Jade all night long, watching her closely. Whenever she needed something he would get up to help her. He didn’t sleep at all. And in the morning when Jade woke up, feeling a lot better, he was there to give her a good morning kiss.




And their days went on like Jade said. James was always acting like a madman, getting angry anytime, injured his lover, but then apologizes sincerely.

Jade thought that she was being an idiot for not breaking him up, but James knew how to make her feel secure, how to make her feel loved. Though he still envied her for her job.

She believed that even though James was rude toward her, he would never leave her. Ever.

He loved her deeply, and she loved him. No matter how many times she got hurt by him.

They quarreled and quarreled everyday, he didn’t hesitate anymore to hit her, to give her bums. She didn’t hesitate to slap him.

She stabbed him once. He stabbed her twice.

They would push each other, scratching and pulling until one of them bleed, and then apologize, holding each other firmly, promised to never let go.

Jade knew their relationship was slowly growing insane, and she knew how insane her lover was. She knew exactly how he switched personality, from a demon to an angel. Like there are two souls in his body.

There are countless bruises on her body, countless bums. Every night when they were all tired from their jobs, and when they cuddled on the bed, he would trace the bruises on her skin with his fingers, telling her that she was still beautiful even though there were bruises on her. He would apologize again for what he had done. And she would believe him. She would forgive. They promised that they would stay together until death comes.

But was it true?

It was. Because death came too soon.




One night, just as dull as another, they were both in the kitchen. Jade was peeling some garlic and James was preparing a turkey. They were going to have a big dinner that night, for the next day would be Christmas.

“What do you want for Christmas, honey?” Jade asked, her eyes still focused on the spices.

“I don’t want anything, just you,” James replied. Finished preparing the turkey, he walked behind her and circled his arms around her waist. That night was probably one of the normal moments they would have together. “What about you, what do you want?”

“I want one thing from you, but I don’t think it will be possible,” she sighed, putting down the knife she had been using to peel the spices, then turned around to face him.

“Tell me. I would do anything for you,” James raised up the corner of his lips, forming a faint smile. Jade studied his face, his blue eyes framed with eyeliner, his pierced lower lip, his pointy nose.

“I… I just want you to control your emotion… you know, I often get scared of you,” she started. She was ducking so he couldn’t see her expression.

“Does it mean you want to leave me?” James asked, responding to her statement. His voice was surprisingly soft. Guilty.

“No, I didn’t say that, did I? I just want you to have some anger management. Your emotions are unstable, and you often hit me up. It is… somehow inappropriate. Aren’t we supposed to be gentle toward each other?” she said again, this time braver.

“Well… I think I’ll try… it’s difficult, you know. I don’t know what’s in my mind. Sometimes I feel like wandering off somewhere, and when I came back, I have already beaten you up,” he replied, his voice trailing off, his eyes unfocused.

“That is serious, James,” Jade said in a high pitch. “How if you are… bipolar? Or having a double personality? That is a serious matter, you need to do some check-ups.”

“I am not disturbed,” he said with a frown. Annoyed. “I just need anger management, that’s all.”

“But you don’t know yourself!”

“I can manage that!” he yelled at her, then turned. She sighed, tired of facing such an emotional boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, James,” Jade put a hand on his arm. She was afraid to start another fight, let alone on Christmas eve, so she decided to apologize first.

“Jade, am I a bum in your life?” he asked without looking at her.

“What? No, you’re the best thing ever happened in my life.”

“But I beat you up.”

“It’s just your bad habit that you need to get rid of.”

“I’m such a bad guy, pierced and tattooed, abusive and violent. You are a pretty, smart, educated girl. You actually can look for another guy…”

“You’re the kind of bad guy whom I wanted to date, not just like other bad guys. Our meeting in that random chat website was a fate, and I believed from then on, that we are destined to be like this. Stop talking like that, okay? Let’s go back to preparing the turkey.”

She thought everything was going back to normal. Her lover was surprisingly calm that night, so calm that it became a bit creepy. She was afraid that he would explode suddenly.

“This is a fine turkey, where did you buy this?” he asked while stuffing the turkey.

“Well, I just bought it in a market nearby,” she answered.

“This must be expensive.”

“Not really, I’ve just received Christmas bonus today so I had enough money to buy that.”

At the moment Jade realized she had said something very, very wrong.

“Happy, isn’t it?” the tone of James’ voice changed. “Getting a Christmas bonus although the actual salary was enough already.”

“I don’t want to talk about this, James.”

“I know you don’t want to! But this is really unfair! I didn’t get anything special for Christmas, from my job.”

“Stop it! If you love my job that much, then quit your job and start working like me! But oh yes, I forgot that you are not educated, you would never be able to do my job,” Jade replied with a sarcastic tone. She was so pissed off.

Angered by Jade’s reply, James walked toward his lover, snatched the knife from her hand, and slit her throat without thinking, ignoring her cries, staining his hands with her blood.




When the red disappeared from James’ sight, and sanity had settled itself in his mind, he couldn’t stand the horror view in front of him.

Jade is lying stiff in front of him. Her throat slatted, her heart is pierced. James bites down his lower lip until it bleeds when he saw the knife in his hand.




She’s dead.

James take her petite hand in his, rubbing it vigorously as if it will return the life into her body. He can’t even sob. He doesn’t even want to blink. He doesn’t want to take his gaze off of the girl. She’s bleeding in every place, her once beautiful eyes are now dry and dark.

James leaned in slowly, kissing her cold lips, whispering her name on it, pleading for her to just get up and kiss him as usual.

“This can’t be real,” he murmured, feeling his tears started to roll down his cheeks. “This can’t be happening. She was alive a few hours ago.”

Clutching the girl’s lifeless corpse in his arms, he cradled her petite body silently, remembering those unforgettable moments he had with her before this tragedy happened.

Right at that moment James knew he has completely lost his mind. Who the hell will have such guts to kill, let alone their own girlfriend?

They were supposed to prepare the turkey, to have a big dinner for tonight. Tomorrow is Christmas. New Year is near, they are supposed to start a new, fresh life.

James screams her name loudly, cursing at himself, yanking fistful of his hair. He is heartbroken, more than ever. All his fear is happening right now, and he is the culprit who caused this all. Now he is alone, he lost the girl he loved the most.

He knows no matter how loud he cries, or how long he will mourn, she won’t come back to life. Still cradling Jade’s corpse back and forth, he took the bloody knife he used to kill his beloved.

Then, letting sanity betray him, he slits his own throat, stabs his heart, cuts the nerves in his wrist, injured himself in the same way he did to her.

When he was done, exhausted by the pain and the loss of blood, he held her close in his arms.

“Don’t worry, I’m coming after you,” he whispered. “I’ve told you I would be by your side, forever. There, we don’t need to worry about jobs or stuffs, you won’t be walking forward, and I will never be left behind. There will be just the two of us. Together.”

As sanity leaves him, so does his life. He holds his lover’s corpse close to his chest, desperately clutching on the very last bits of life.

“I love you, Jade,” he said with his hoarse voice.

And he swore, at that time, either real or hallucination, he saw that she smiled.

Closing his eyes with contented face, his sight turns black. He fades away.





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