Barn House Rock

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a short story following the adventure of a young actress who decides to get involved with the most absurd play ever located 20 miles outside Wellington, NJ.

Submitted: November 08, 2015

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Submitted: November 08, 2015



As I sit and watch my terrible director lead the show on with his voracious need to be the center of attention, I peek from the corner of my eye Crystal a 22 year old petite blonde sneak out of the barn with a washed up 40 year old father of 3 Benjamin Kane. I knew they had snuck off for a quick fuck even though they had only known each other for a mere 2 weeks. I was laughing to myself thinking, “What the hell did I get myself into?” agreeing to be a part of this shit show, none the less agreeing to be a part of a bland personality of cast members. With the Exemption of Crystal, Patty and a quirky fellow by the name of Jared. Patty was a sincere mother of 2, married, a teacher who had settled well into her life in Wellington, NJ. The only bit of regret I saw in her eyes was the lost of Youth. She wouldn't’t linger on the thought for too long, she had a play to perform. Jared of all the men, was the most youthful and the most attractive of the bunch. I should tread lightly on the word “Attractive”. This barn housed a cast of men who were old, overweight, gay men, or men who were full of shit. Jared stuck out to me like a sore throbbing dick. No, seriously, he’d be the only guy I would fuck in that cast, but then regret it later.


Crystal was a hotsy totsy little rabbit. Although I have to give her credit due to her sweet nature and absolute sarcastic witty dialog. She and I never engaged in much conversation. I think she had enough with two of the male sex following her around like blind kittens looking for milk. I'm sure she was having a fun on her end though. I on the other hand, had to put up with nonconsecutive rides home from Benjamin Kane. Don’t misunderstand me, I appreciated the car rides. What I did not appreciate was how high up in the food chain he saw himself. I’d catch him during rehearsals grabbing on to parts of the barn doing at most 3 pull ups. I wasn't’t sure if he was trying to stay fit with just 3, or the obvious answer. Trying to show off his guns for the ladies. At least I can say that I was not aroused watching him display his bouts of manly exercise in a barn that happen to be located in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Later on during our rehearsals I would befriend a man who I later found out to be a pervert. I'm just gonna call this cast member “Chris Farley” because that's who he reminded me of. This guy would be my other car ride when Benjamin Kane wasn't’t available (Ugh, fucking Dick). At first when I met Chris, I thought he was a funny fat man. As the shows rehearsal progressed, I saw myself viewing different personalities of the cast and how they intermingled. I’m proud to say that the woman cast members were not catty or dramatic as much as the men were in this show. I think back on how Chris Farley constantly called Benjamin Kane a “pretty boy” who “only dates models”. First of I’ll have to correct Chris on that. Benjamin Kane was Not a pretty boy. Second, so what if he only dates models. I’m thinking Chris was envious of Benjamin. I mean Benjamin was slim, fit, 10 years younger than Chris. Chris was gross, fat and underhandedly a pervert. I knew this because overtime we were on stage rehearsing a group panic scene, he’d throw his arms and or hands across my breasts. Oh how disgusted I was. I felt like taking a shower afterwards. Benjamin on the other hand never made me feel uncomfortable and treated me very well on stage and off. I must say that with Chris, I may have left the door open. My humor can be very sexually risqué and I talk quite a lot, but I never gave him permission to be physical on stage with me. I should have voiced thoughts about that to him. Ah fuck! Not to mention, he admitted to a fellow cast member and I that he got massages on the regular and happened to accidentally receive a “Happy Ending”. How the fuck does one accidentally receive a happy ending? I mean the masseuse puts her hand on your dick, are you not going to say anything?! Gee I don’t know, like “Stop” or “what the fuck are you doing, touching me in my no no area you stranger”. I'm laughing so hard at this point because Chris has the nerve to tell me not to mention it to his wife.


Overall I was too nice to him, and being an introvert I find it difficult to express my views for fear of offending someone. Thanks Mom for raising which such confidence. I think back on this experience and I want to kill it with fire. I would rag more on the director of the show, but at this point I wouldn't’t be surprised if they found him dead. I mean, the man hazardously demonstrated how to use a back hanger device for the whole cast on stage and the idiot forgot to strap himself in resulting in a funny somersault flip. I still look up at God till this day and think, “You couldn't’t have injured his back a bit more to release us from this play that rose from the depths of playwright hell??” No… I guess not. I can see God smiling at me.


© Copyright 2018 Jimmy Carr 1992. All rights reserved.

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