Seven Sinners

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Following a group of teenager as they make their way around the city at night. Sorry about the formatting it did not carry over from Celtx well.

Submitted: January 06, 2011

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Submitted: January 06, 2011

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EXT. KID’S PLAY PARK - NIGHT A group of seven teenagers, aged between 18 and 21, are sitting on various part of the kids playground. The leader, JK, is sitting on a chair overlooking the others. They are passing round booze and fags to each other. Stoneman is in the corner happily on drugs.

JIMMY What do’ya mean you’d sleep with effing Julie Roberts?

FINN What’s wrong with that? She’s fit ain’t she?

JIMMY No, she ain’t. Keira Knightley’s fit.

FINN Keira Knightley ’s a twig with no fucking breasts. You need something to grab onto.

EXT. TOWN - NIGHT

The gang stroll throw town. Knocking over anything they can and leaving chewing gum on buildings.

JIMMY Look, I’m just saying maybe you need to look for something other than just the size of their hooters...

JK Look who’s getting all soppy and emotional now.

JIMMY Fuck you JK, I’m merely commentating...

JK Merely commentating? You come from Cambridge Jimmy?

JIMMY No. Cause I fuckin haven’t.

JK Then stop talking like a dirty posh cunt.

INT. 24/7 SUPERMARKET - NIGHT George stuffs a pack of sweet up his top as the other gang slyly walk around the shop. A security guard notices them and watches them walk around the shop.

JIMMY You tellin” me you wouldn't fuck Keira Knightley ?

JK Why would I want to fuck her? I’d rather Jordan. Someone with some large titties.

JIMMY But Jordan’s a slag. D’ya not see what she did to Peter Andre?

JK Yes I did, and why would i fucking care bout that? She’s a slut, she’s hot she’d be good in bed. Maybe I’d get a threesome if I dated her.

JIMMY Threesome? You’d be lucky to get one.

JK Shut your mouth Jimmy boy before I punch your daisy duke lights out. They reach the counter. JK pays for a set of chewing gum and they head to walk out the shop. A security guard stops them.

GUARD Stop! Thieves! He plants his hand on Sakar. The rest belt it while Sakar is left to the mercy of the guards.

3. EXT. OUTSIDE 24/7 - NIGHT The gang run off, the second fat security stops chasing them after running out of breath.

FINN Don’t you think we should get Sakar?

BANNER You go get him then if you’re so tough.

FINN We can’t just leave him for the fuckin fuzz.

BANNER No you are right, we should go back in there and rescue him. Mount a fuckin’ James Bond style rescue attempt. We’re not going to go down for it as well. What we fuckin steal anyway?

GEORGE I got some Malteasers.

BANNER You’re joking me. You’re letting Sakar go down thanks to some fuckin’ Malteasers. Jesaz Mary of mother Christ you’re some fat piece of mummy’s boy work.

GEORGE What else was I pose to steal?

BANNER I don’t fuckin know. Maybe something worth some value? Jewelery nice and easy but no you go and fuckin steal Malteasers. Anyone else grab something?

Silence.

JK I got some Skittles.

BANNER Fuckin’ Christ we’re a bunch of masterminds aren’t we? Well at least we can have a lovely picnic.

4. EXT. STREET BENCH - NIGHT The gang of six are sitting on or around a park bench sharing malteasers, skittles, booze and fags.

JIMMY We need to settle this. Who’d you choose Knightley or Jordan.

BANNER Knightley

JK Jordan

FINN Roberts.

JIMMY No you fuckin’ turd. Did we say Roberts? No we fuckin’ didn’t we’ve already establish that no one wants to sleep with that fifty year old hag. So who’d you do?

FINN Jordan

JIMMY Fuckin’ twat. Alright, George

GEORGE Keira, gotta be. I wouldn’t mind playing Pirates with her.

JK Keep that to yourself or I’ll make you walk the plank.

JIMMY Okay that’s two for Knightley and two for Jordan. I’m of course for the hot sweet succulent Knightley . That leaves Stoneman.

STONEMAN Huh?

JIMMY Have you not been listening to what we’ve all been fuckin’ saying?

5. STONEMAN Wha?

JIMMY Okay Stone head. Would you like to sleep with Keira the hot sexy pirate Knightley or would you want to sleep with Katie the lying fuckin whore Jordan?

STONEMAN Erm.

JK Hurry the fuck up will you.

STONEMAN Kiera...

JIMMY Yes!

STONEMAN ...no...wait.

JIMMY Jesas Christ, hurry up before I knock you out.

STONEMAN Jordan. Yeah Jordan! She’s ’ot! Stoneman returns to his drug induced state located somewhere outside of reality.

JK So what that make? 3-3?

JIMMY Fuck it man. We need Sakar. He’d be able to break this tie.

JK How long d’ya think the fuzz will keep him?

JIMMY Dunno, but I doubt sweety stealing carrys a life term. Unless the fuck tards find out something else he’s been doing.

6. EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT Five of the gang are waiting outside the police station. Jimmy is inside.

GEORGE I need a piss.

JK Well go find a toilet.

GEORGE Where?

JK How am I meant to know?

GEORGE How am I!

JK Look (pointing) there’s a bush over there go and do your business there.

GEORGE What if the cops see?

JK It’s night, you’re behind a bush, you’ll be fine.

George walks towards the bush.

BANNER How longs he been?

FINN Bout fifteen minutes.

BANNER You think they’ve locked him up as well?

FINN Dunno. Go check.

BANNER I ain’t fucking going in. I’m not stupid.

We hear the sound of urine.

7. FINN It’s fucking raining?

JK That ain’t no rain.

They turn around and see George peeing behind the Bush but he is drunk and missing. The urine is spraying off the bush and coming down on the gang. They notice and get out the way.

JK What the fuck you doing?

GEORGE Pissing, you told me too.

JK I didn’t tell you to spray over us did I?

GEORGE I’m behind the Bush.

JK It’s fuckin coming off the Bush. Have you not finished pissing yet?

GEORGE I’ve had a lot to drink.

JK Fuckin’ hell. Look there’s Jimmy and he’s with Sakar.

George finishes pissing and goes to put his penis away only to get it caught in his zip.

GEORGE Ouch, fucking hell that hurts.

George tries to undo his zip but it’s stuck.

GEORGE Someone help me!

JK I’m not touching you’re cock. Someone else do it.

BANNER No fuckin way am I going to touch you after you’ve just pissed over us. Finn can do it.

8. FINN Fuck you.

GEORGE Help, it hurts.

FINN Fine then. Come here George.

Finn grabs the zip and yanks it down hard. George screams wolf-like into the sky.

FINN Put it away now.

George carefully puts his penis back into his trousers and very slowly zips himself back up. Jimmy and Sakar have crossed the street.

JIMMY What the hell was that noise for.

FINN Got his cock caught in his trousers.

JIMMY Twit.

They start walking away from the police Station. George is hobbling.

JK Have a nice time Sakar?

SAKAR It’ll do.

JIMMY Okay Sakar I need you to be the deciding vote. Who would you choose to fuck - Keira Knightley , who is so awesomely hot or Jordan, who isn’t.

SAKAR Knightley .

JIMMY Fuck yeah!

9. JK Damn it.

They carry on walking down the street.

SAKAR Why do you guys smell like piss?

FADE OUT


© Copyright 2020 Jj Morris. All rights reserved.

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