Entry

-entry-

The uncontrollable fear of futility shines a fearsome spotlight piercing through thick fog of my mind, momentarily blinding me. Trips me, stumbling only for mere seconds into reality - that it was a life completely unlived that breathed different sight into me. Beams a darker light into my head, another pace into my lungs and a sharp shock to my fingertips. She should be here, lying, breathing, studying the darkness with me. Paint and craft her light into flickering dotted stars, ones we once laughed at on her own ceiling. Illuminate my life, and kick some of her spirit into my limbs. For now i'll sit here, wait and write my hours away, watching the slat of lazy sunlight catching small particles floating to the floor, little dustflies inhabiting my room. I'll think and write and examine every aspect of life, till my own might make sense, notice what outweighs the other. And i'll smile listening to the same sound of silence i've been given for years, the secrecy and subtlety of silence.