the three rascally raccons

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
one fantastic, summer day in tsawwassen a family decided to have a picnic at this most amazing park in the world, splash park – and best of all, it’s totally free! it has water works! this is where you get to make dams and waterways. it’s so cool. there are even picnic areas and barbecues in the park.
mia, maddy, and joe, all cousins, were busy making dams at the water works. joe’s dad and uncle pat were barbecuing hamburgers, chicken burgers, ribs, fish and potatoes, while chatter, chatter, chatter. the grans were in the gazebo eating all the chips and making entirely too much noise.

Submitted: March 09, 2016

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Submitted: March 09, 2016



Have you ever had a raccoon-burger?  Probably not!  This is a story about when a family thought they were going to have their first barbecued raccoon burger.

One fantastic, summer day in Tsawwassen a family decided to have a picnic at this most amazing park in the world, Splash Park – and best of all, it’s totally free!  It has water works!  This is where you get to make dams and waterways.  It’s so cool.  There are even picnic areas and barbecues in the park.

Mia, Maddy, and Joe, all cousins, were busy making dams at the water works. Joe’s dad and Uncle Pat were barbequing hamburgers, chicken burgers, ribs, fish and potatoes, while chatter, chatter, chatter.  The grans were in the gazebo eating all the chips and making entirely too much noise.

Unknown to all of them, on the other side of the shrubs were three rascally raccoons, Alpine, Brawny and Bitty, playing bouncy-ball tennis.  Their bouncy-ball went bouncing over the shrubs and into the picnic area.  They all took off like a locomotive rushing after the ball, when all the raccoons were grabbed by the meaty smell of the sizzling hamburgers on the barbeque grill.  

All at once, they all forgot about the lost bouncy-ball and started running for the tasty-smelling barbeque. Just then the tallest raccoon, Alpine yelled out, “STOP!” and all the raccoons stop like they were playing musical statues.  He continued, “Let’s make a plan before we get caught.”

The smallest raccoon, Bitty, suggested, “Let’s do the zipline robbery!”

Brawny agreed, “Great idea! I’ll make the plan and lets all meet at the tree house”  

Alpine said, “I’ll get the rope and meet you there!”

Bitty told them, “I want to get the pulleys and I’ll meet you up in the tree house.”

Just then they all did flying hi-five and sped off to work.

Brawny went to find a rock and piece of slate to write the plan on.

Within minutes they were all in the tree house ready to get going.

Brawny whispered, “Here’s my plan. Alpine, you go down the zip-line, grab the burgers, activate the super-speed jet pack and return to the tree house.”


Bitty quickly added, “da da daaaa!” And they all went back to work.

First, Alpine got into his zip-line harness, next Brawny attached the super-speed jet pack to Alpine’s back.  Then, Bitty handed him the berger collection sack, and shouted “Harness, check! Jet pack, check!  Burger sack, check!”  

Finally, Brawny announced, “Ready for take-off!” and pushed Alpine out of the tree house.  Oh no! Bitty was not clear and was mistakenly snagged to Alpine’s tail for the decent. He fought to get free all the way down to the barbeque, but Bitty came loose, bounced across the top of the very hot and flaming barbeque. Bitty scampered off the grill, screaming in pain “Hot, hot, hot!

Brawny shouted from the tree house to Bitty, “Your tail is on fire!”

Bitty darted across the lawn to the water works, where the kids and Joe were playing, and dove into the water.

Brawny shouted to Bitty, “Oh no, hot tamale! Are you okay little guy?”

With the surprise of fast raccoon attack, Joe’s dad and Uncle Pat were just standing in shock, with their mouth wide open.  Just then, Uncle Pat said in amazement, “What the heck! That raccoon is trying to steal our hamburgers!”

Joe’s dad yelled, “And that little raccoon’s tail is on fire!”

Alpine, very pleased that Bitty had made such a huge distraction away from the grill, continued to gather the burgers as quickly as possible.  But, just then, Uncle Pat grabbed Alpine by the tail and said, “I’ve got you, little guy!” and turned to Joe’s dad and said, “Kevin, check this out! I’ve caught this rascally raccoon trying to steal our burgers!”

Alpine was scared out of his mind and began thinking as quickly as possible about how to get free.  He decided to start the super-speed jet pack on his back.  “Success!” he thought with a mischievous grin when the jet pack started on the first try.  

Just then, Pat started screaming and grabbing his arm, because the flames from the super-speed jet pack had burnt his hands and the hair off his arms.  

However, Alpine’s excitement only lasted a couple seconds, because the super-speed jet pack had only rocketed him face first into the ground; a perfect face-plant! “Ugh, ouch, ouch, ugh!” he whimpered, while the big white grin vanished in to a pitiful, crushed, chocolate face.

“Oh shoot!” thought Alpine, quickly thinking of another way to get free with the burgers.  But it was too late! He was caught again, this time by Joe’s dad.

Joe’s dad yelled to Uncle Pat, “No! I’ve caught the rascally raccoon!”

Joe’s dad had him by his tail, holding Alpine upside down, dangling in the air.  Alpine was just swinging in the wind and shaking with fear.  Feeling defeated, Alpine was fighting to get free, and quickly thinking up his next escape.

Back in the water works, Bitty and the kids all stood watching Alpine adventures and sudden capture in amazement.

Just then, Bitty yelled out to all the kids, “Please help me save my brother Alpine! He’s in grave danger!”

All the kids were astonished and shocked.  They stood like giant ice sculptures.  They had never heard of a talking raccoon before.

Brawny, up in the tree house, was quickly heading down the zip-line to help his best-friend, Alpine. He too was shocked when he overheard Bitty speaking to the children at the water works, because he did not even know that humans could understand raccoon speak.

With one paw up in the air, like a superhero, Brawny shouted, “I, superhero Brawny, will save the day!”

The grans are still in the gazebo, chatter, chatter, chatter.  They did not even realize what was happening around them.

Next to the barbeque and near the end of the zip-line, Brawny was zooming down the zip-line at top speed.  Uncle Pat stood up, but he was just too close to the zip-line. Brawny smashed into his face, and they both landed on the ground with a big thump,  “Ouch, raccoon in the face!” Pat shouted.  Both were stunned. Brawny, still attached to the zip-line tried ran off Pat’s face, but he wasn’t going anywhere; it looked like a hamster running on a treadmill.  Pat tried to calm Brawny by saying, “Whoa boy, slow down.  No one wants to get hurt here.”

Joe rushed over from the water works with all the kids and Bitty, and yelled to his Dad, “STOP! Let him go!  STOP!  The raccoons are nice and only stole the burgers, because they were hungry and love the great meaty smell.”

Alpine squirmed and fussed at Joe’s dad, “Ouch, you’re going to break my tail off!  Please can you just let me go?!!!”

Joe’s dad nicely put the raccoon on the ground and snatched the burger bag from his back, while saying “These burgers need to go back on the grill; they’re not fully cooked yet.”

All the kids begged Joe’s dad, “Can we share the burgers with all the raccoons.  This is their home and they are pretty cool.  Did you know they can even talk?”

Joe’s dad asked the raccoons, “Do you really want to join us?”  The raccoons nodded eagerly.  Joe’s dad said, “All you had to do was ask! And bring something to the barbeque picnic, of course.”

Bitty shouted to the kids, “Who would like to play on our zip-lines? Energetically, all the kids said “Me! Me! Me!!!!!!!”

While Alpine and Bitty helped the kids get geared up, Brawny moved the base away from the barbeque, so the kids would not get burnt or crash into the hot, steamy charcoal. When everything was set, Joe went down the zip-line first, then Mia and finally Maddy. It was simply the most amazing ride of their life.

“Come for lunch kid’s! Come Alpine, Bitty, and Brawny.” invited Joe’s dad.

At last, everyone all had a scrumptious barbeque picnic.

The End

© Copyright 2018 joe joe. All rights reserved.

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