Lugar and the Bathtub

Luger & the Bathtub
Cats hate getting soaked with water and so did our Luger; when he was a little boy. He never wanted a mud puddle left un-splashed, nor un-stomped upon. As much as he loved mud and slime, he had completely adverse reaction to clean water and soap. If there was any mud, dirt, slime, or stink to be found anywhere within a mile of our house Luger could find it and apparently delighted to wallow in it. Therefore, he normally smelled like an un-cleaned outhouse and he absolutely refused to take a bath. Perhaps our 6 year old thought that he would lose some of his magical superpowers by the removal of dirt and stink from his body; much like Superman is weakened by kryptonite. 
At least weekly, whenever his stench became unbearable, Miranda would drag him kicking and screaming into the bathtub, but fortunately I discovered another much quieter solution to walking, talkin, hollering stink... Bath toys! Yep, whenever the smell got too intense, or I saw buzzards circling over our house, I’d just take a trip to the toy aisle within our local grocery store... Boats float and so does Ivory soap. The thought of soap somehow removing all of his happily accumulated dirt and grime from his tiny little body was somewhat appalling to him. My adding a small pirate flag to the Ivory soap made the dreaded soap much less intimidating.
Boats were his favorite bathtub toys and we created quite a formidable collection of them over the years. I found a small battery powered motorized racing boat one day at the store and brought it home to him. He couldn’t wait to take a bath and within ten minutes he was in the midst of around fifty, or sixty boats, happily soaking and splashing in the bathtub. 
Splashing is the keyword here. The mask and snorkel I gave him at one time to induce him to take a much-needed bath, was not such a good idea. Tihana had lamented the fact that the boats worked quite well in getting Luger into the bathtub, but he didn’t want to get his face or hair wet. Well, I reasoned, a mask and snorkel should solve that problem... It did, but in Lugers’ vivid imagination he became a giant underwater sea monster bent on the immediate destruction of this vast flotilla of colorful boats dancing above his head. 
Apparently the object of the game was to throw as many boats as possible out of this bathtub sea onto the adjacent tile floor below; by creating great swelling waves of undulating bath water... I was almost giddy with happiness when, years later, Luger discovered girls and we no longer had to mop the bathroom floor after one of his infrequent baths. Needless to say, our home smelled much better also and once again we could have our friends over for supper.

Copywrite 2003 Joe Kent Roberts
www.talkintexan.com