Expecting Twins

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

A First time father has doubts


Expecting Twins

BY Joe Massingill

Daniel Knight sat in the walnut paneled reception area of Dr. Gayle Applebaum’s office. He stared at art prints by people he couldn’t name, waiting for his wife to complete her ultrasound and learn the sex of their first baby, nervous first time father thoughts raced through his mind. “What if the baby is a girl? How am I supposed to teach a girl how to pitch the perfect curve ball,” he thought? “Girls like pretend tea parties and frilly dresses,” “I want to see my son pitch the perfect game, Steal bases, knock the ball out of the catcher’s glove when he runs for home base.” “Girls don’t do that. And Marla is already picking out girl names, she suggested Daniela or Helena.” He thought to himself.

 His thoughts were broken when Marla re-entered the waiting area.  She was only a couple months along. And hasn’t yet developed the belly forward hand on her back walking posture that he had seen in other women who were heavily pregnant, she did however sport an enormous smile on her face. Then a snarky voice in his head whispered, “It’s a girl.”



“I’ve got surprising news,” Marla said unaware of her husband’s thoughts.

Daniel quickly rose from his chair and met his wife while trying to ignore the voice in his head.

 “The baby didn’t inherit your father’s uni-brow?” Daniel quipped.  Hoping that if he can make his wife laugh, she won’t notice any worried look that his face. That might betray him.

 Marla dutifully laughed at her husband’s weak joke. “No, we’re going to have twins!” Marla exclaimed and her smiled widened.

 All Daniel heard was the snarky voice in his head saying, “You’re gonna have TWIN GIRLS! Can’t you just feel you hair turning gray already?”

 The Voice continued the torment. “Just think about them reaching the age of sixteen. Sixteen year-old boys are walking bags of raging hormones, and you get to teach the girls how to drive. You remember what happens in cars don’t you?” “We’re not that old yet?” Said the Voice in his head.

 Anxiously, Daniel ignored the Voice and asked the question he wanted to know, “Girls or Boys?”

“I don’t want to know,” was Marla’s answer.

 “Because they’re GIRLS. She knows you want a boy. And she doesn’t want them REJECTED!” sang the Voice to the tune of the Alice Cooper song “Elected.”


“Well, why not?” A subdued Daniel asked hopefully.

 “The babies are healthy. And we can’t change anything, so I want to be surprised when I deliver them,” was Marla’s thought out answer.

SURPRISE,” Said the Voice!

Daniel then turned to the doctor. And asked, “Boys or Girls?”

“I can’t say. I promised your wife. And there is the Doctor/ Patient confidentiality issue,” explained Dr. Applebaum. Stumped Daniel turns back to his wife. “What about painting the babies’ room?”

“We’ll pick a neutral color like a light sea foam green,” answered Marla.

 Yeah, light sea foam green because she KNOWS they’re GIRLS,” retorted the Voice. “She wouldn’t have picked that color if they were BOYS,” the Voice teased.


Daniel’s cell phone rang at that moment he plucked it from its place on his belt and looked at the caller ID. “It’s Dad.I gotta take this.” He said to the Doctor and his wife.

 He pressed the button on the phone and spoke to his father.

“Hey Pop. Guess what, you’re gonna have twin grand babies. ”

 “Girls or boys?” asked the Grandpa to be.

“I don’t know. Marla doesn’t want to know and the doctor won’t tell me,” replied Daniel.

That’s because they’re girls,” said the Voice only this time it spoke in the voice of his Father.  It was the same wise voice that gave him step by step instructions, on how to reassemble the engine in his first car when he had to rebuild it.  It was the same wise prophetic voice, “that told him that beater of a ‘76 Chevy Nova was going to be a money pit.”

If she’s not SAYING, she’s HIDING.” The father/Voice said.

 Eight months later Daniel found himself in another waiting area, this time he is in the hospital. He’s waiting on news that Marla has successfully given birth to their twins and that everybody is okay.


 He opted not to be in the delivery room because he was worried that he might not be able to keep himself in check once the twins were delivered. And he had been so careful not to let his thoughts be known despite the voice in his head, during the entire pregnancy.

 The nurse who assisted in the delivery came out of the delivery room to give him the news. “Mr. Knight, Frankie and Johnny are healthy and would like to meet you,” the nurse said.

 Caught off guard Daniel said, “Who?” Now it’s the nurse who is caught off guard. “Your newborn son and daughter “replied the nurse.









Submitted: October 23, 2013

© Copyright 2020 Joe Massingill. All rights reserved.

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