Who's scared of the dark ?

Reads: 532  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 9

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

For a story contest

After school , Josh and  Montague  decided to celebrate ,by going to fuck a little ' night on the streets.
 Towards evening they went out , vandalizing a little ' everywhere, leaving their mark on the walls and writing with the cans until they found  house  Smith. Home Smith was an old house , perched , with shutters and doors to pieces , inside there was still everything as he had left the man who lived there , although the vandals could take whatever they wanted . It is rumored that the house was haunted by the ghost of the former owner , Gordy Smith, who was killed mysteriously in his own house. Whoever had killed him had never been caught, and no one had bothered to look for it, this elusive murderess , because Mr. Smith was a man with all cranky and intractable .
 The boys looked with a smile on their  lips, would be exciting to be able to tell your friends that you  entered Smith's house at midnight ... already imagined the face of those really believed in the story of the ghost! They said that the old Gordy would take revenge on anyone who entered into his house , so no one had ever taken anything .
 But for  the two boys were all lies ... wanted to prove to be more courageous than others. So they decided to enter.
 They opened the gate , now unstable , and walking though the dead garden  .

Arriving at the door , Josh and Montague  exchanged a look , and they entered . The door creaked ominously , but neither of them took any notice .
 The house smelled of rotten, old , and there was a thick layer of dust everywhere , and thick carpets covered the floor was chipped ke below.
- What would scary , this hovel ? - Montague muttered . Josh laughed, and a look of disdain reserved the entire room - the living room , it seemed - he was observing .
 They looked to the other rooms, without haste, by moving some items to do so . Josh took from one room to an empty frame without photos and with a rather dirty glass . He took it , and after watching her threw it on the ground, without restraint. The frame splintered , and the glass shattered.
 They came upstairs , through the creaking stairs , and entered into what was once a beautiful bedroom. It was right there, in his sumptuous bed during sleep , who  killed Gordy Smith.
- Here there is nothing interesting - Josh said .
 Suddenly rang twelve strokes of an old clock : it was midnight . The two boys stood , as if petrified . The sounds seemed to come from the house, perhaps that big old fashioned clock that was down in the living room .
 Yet it seemed to them that it wasn't  working ...
They looked : there was something in the atmosphere, disturbing , not that convinced them . A cold shiver shook them .
 Something unexpected caught their eyes : the rumpled bedspread was something going on . A dark stain was spreading , soaking the bed, a dark liquid , dense, strong odor .... they recognized him right away, even though they had not seen so much and so closely: the blood. A huge pool of blood was spreading under their eyes , exactly where many years before the body of Gordy Smith was shot to death .
 Josh Montague 's eyes widened and he opened his mouth , but  managed to make no sound . The fear paralyzed them . Now the twelve chimes had ceased , but you could still hear the sound dismal , gloomy, that echo far that still lingered in the air.
 The two boys heard footsteps behind them , they had not even have the strength to escape. When the footsteps stopped , the two turned toward the door , a figure watched them with eyes bloodshot. The ghost of the old Smith.
 From the window in the living room came a slight breeze that caressed the empty frame : the glass intact, was back exactly in its place.
 No one saw them again ..Josh  and Montague, no one knew anything. But that evening , at midnight, someone could have sworn he heard screams coming from ... Smith House screams that made my skin crawl. Screams of death.


The boy finish telling the story , to his friends

-Is it a real story ?- asked clary ...

-yes ....- answered The boy

-Then tell us , how u knew is true ?...Mr. omniscient ?? -said David trying to ridicule him

the boys looked at the boy with anxiety and curiosity

-You really wanna know ?-

Submitted: November 27, 2013

© Copyright 2021 Joel Twister. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Sahar Ahmad

I liked the plot. I think that u should also add some script instead of background

Fri, November 29th, 2013 3:38pm



Mon, December 2nd, 2013 4:32am

Sahar Ahmad

The results are out!

Sat, December 14th, 2013 9:49am


okay thank you

Sat, December 14th, 2013 10:33am


hand's up!! i wanna know! (^-^) creepy

Sun, December 15th, 2013 9:57am


Hahahah U really wanna know ?
Thanks for reading :)

Sun, December 15th, 2013 5:28am


Quite creepy. Your descriptions were rather graphic, which added to the gory feel. I felt you could have added a little to some of the sentences; or, more so, make them longer- use a comma instead of a full stop/period. While your descriptions were good, maybe add a little more emotion to the characters? What are they thinking? How do they feel? Emotions are hard to capture, but they make is even more real and the reader feels more connected to the characters. All in all, it's a good story and well described, so keep writing!:)

Thu, January 2nd, 2014 9:12pm


thank you a lot !!!! appreciate your advice!!! :)

Sun, January 5th, 2014 5:33am


A very tense and atmospheric horror tale indeed. I was truly spooked by all the weird goings on in the house. I liked the mysterious boy telling the tale too. Great job ")

Mon, February 17th, 2014 8:19pm


Really appreciate it! !!! Your comments makes my day :D
Thanks for the support
Keep me update for your stories !!
Smile always

Mon, February 17th, 2014 2:02pm


Wow! Another Amazing Horror story :) I really enjoyed reading it and I didn't think the two would die in the end. Your descriptions were just Brilliant. Loved it. It really gave me the spooks Haha.

Tue, February 25th, 2014 9:02am


Awwww thank you lovely, for reading ;)
Your comment made m day ;D
Smile always

Tue, February 25th, 2014 1:13am


Very scary indeed :). I like the cliffhanger at the end it makes the story mysterious! The description was perfect. ~Poetic

Mon, March 3rd, 2014 5:55am


Oh thank you!! For reading angel!!

Mon, March 3rd, 2014 4:15am


Indeed creepy... really enjoyed reading your horror story. You have very skillfully set the plot with detailed description of all the scary elements. Loved it. Excellent.job !! .A like from me. :)

Sat, March 8th, 2014 11:43am


Love your comments, they have just made my day!!!! So glad u liked it :Dxoxooxo always smile

Sat, March 8th, 2014 6:19am


Amazing story!! ^_^. I loved the beginning: how you made the entire plot of this story. Though it seemed that you elaborated it in an almost nonchalant way, but it was okay. As far as your dialogues are concerned, it needs to be a little polished. It will be best that you organize all your dialogues in a proper way. Punctuation errors were there too. Hopefully, if you overcome these tiny problems, then you can write way much better. Will look forward to your other stories! :) Mhamzasiddiqui.

Thu, April 17th, 2014 9:50am


Thanks a lot for the advice!!!! And im glad u took time in reading xoxoxoxox i will return the favour! Thank you

Thu, April 17th, 2014 9:47am

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