A Pedophile's Triumph

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
A pedophile wins over his worst enemy.

Submitted: August 16, 2012

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Submitted: August 16, 2012




It was lunch break at the law firm and Gerald was sitting a few hundred feet above ground on the edge of the top floor of his office building, with his feet dangling, swaying as the hot wind blew.  He looked down at all the people and cars below him and felt the vast emptiness below his feet (or below his Italian designer leather shoes).  The scorching Sun was shining mercilessly on Earth and on Gerald.  The oppressive heat was heavy on his shoulders, penetrating through his pores, roasting him from the inside.  He loosened his maroon tie, the one that Carol gave him for their 20th anniversary.  He rolled up his sleeves and immediately the exposed skin on his forearms felt the burning pain from the sun rays.  It felt as if his skin was going to crack open, peel off.  It felt as if the Sun was going to set him on fire, condemning him forever into the crimson flames of hell.  Condemn him for he was a beast, for he was a monster, for he was a damned, damned sinner. 


The mirrored armor of the building across the street reflected the blinding sun rays right into Gerald’s eyes and for a moment he couldn’t really see clearly.  All he saw from the giant gridded mirror was a hideous reflection of a beast, a pervert.  Gerald was no longer the successful lawyer who owned one of the top law firms in New York.  He was no longer the reputable man that everybody said he was.  He was no longer the loving husband who cared for his wife’s every need.  He was no longer the confident, smart, sane being who he once was.  He, Gerald the lawyer, the husband, the good guy; was also Gerald the pedophile.


It had been thirteen years since Gerald developed this twisted obsession.  It had been thirteen years since Gerald lost his daughter.  Carol and he were so happy to welcome their baby girl into their lives.  She was their dream, their happiness, their everything.  Yet she lived only half a breath and then there was it, the lifeless body of a new born child.  The devil came and stole away their joy, their light, and their Sun, and left them with thirteen tormented years of life in pitch darkness.  Gerald’s cravings for children of his own transformed into this immoral and sexual obsession through the years.  He hated himself for that.  He was so ashamed of himself when those evil thoughts attacked his brain, when he found himself in front of his computer, sexually aroused and excited, browsing through obscene pictures of little kids and young teens.  He felt like a failure, a loser who couldn’t even control himself.  No matter how he blocked out those sinful sources, his Mr. Hyde would always manage to win, tearing down the barriers that Gerald had created to bar himself away from immorality. 

Gerald was exhausted from the constant fight between himself and himself.  He was so tired of trying to leash this vile phantom that haunted him day and night, which kept throwing him into the welcoming arms of the devil.  He no longer had the energy to suppress his shameful desires, to hide this evil-possessed side of his.  He detested himself.  He feared himself.  He had asked himself billions of times, “How come, Gerald?  Why have you come to this?”  He didn’t know how come.  He didn’t know why.  But there was one thing that he was sure of, that it was time to end all of this madness. 


Gerald, who had been the loser for the past 13 years, was now prepared to win and receive his victory; to jump into the gates of hell, and yet rejoice as he had conquered his worst enemy, himself.


Leaning forward, Gerald saw below him the street that he had walked on for the past twenty years.  He saw below him the restaurant where Carol and he had their first date.  He tried to imagine the level of pain and hurt that Carol would feel after his triumph over the devil, but he halted his thoughts.  He knew he was being selfish and brutal, but he was determined to jump.  He stood up, on the very edge of the building, fixed his tie and rolled down his sleeves.  He took a step forward into nothingness.  Into the gates of hell, he fell. 


The warm air gave Gerald a valedictory embrace as his body descended from high up.  The ends of his mouth curled up into a contended smile.  He felt the hit; the loud, penetrating pain as his body collided with the hard cement ground, and his flesh and bones broke and disintegrated into a million fractured pieces.  Gerald won.

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