In Memoriam

In Memoriam

Should I have grieved for one

Who changed and fed me 

In days before my memory?

Who fixed me picnics for imaginary friends

Rejoicing in my creativity

As only she could have, 

And did believe in me.

Believed in second grade that I was smart

When teachers said that I was sweet,

But wasn’t very bright-

A kind description for a sixty-two

On a test I could not read,

But momma knew me and believed.

So tell me now, should I have grieved?

And when an adolescent

I tried to run away.

She held me to the floor

And cried with me;

Accepting of my rage.

I never thought my momma 

Could be so strong,

To face the traumas

Of my awkward age.

And as rough winters make good wood

So winter came to her

When daddy died,

And cancer split the bark 

From her once straight 

And supple boughs,

And broke her part from part

To leave her palsied limbed 

But strong of heart.

And when a man and married

She prayed to live to see

My child born.

That child now, and two

Who soon will be adults

Have loved her and have grown

Strong for all the strength

They’ve known in her fragility;

And for the beauty that they’ve seen

Through her now clouded eye.

So now from thirty years

Of constant pain- release

And at the last- 

A gentle peace.

So tell me now

How can I cry?