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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: March 05, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 05, 2019




Do you remember Mirabel? The girl from my church whom used to be my big-time crush and my best friend.

Well, she's my girlfriend now.

We've been dating for quite sometime. It all started after that embarrassing/comforting scenario in church. You remember she told me she loved me right? It turned out she really meant it. We started dating officially few days after she acknowledged the feeling was mutual.

I'm sure you must be wondering what dating the girl of my dreams feels like... Well, the feeling is magical. Having Mirabel had always been my 'wide-awake' dreams, because she isn't just another girl in my life, she's the only "Girl" I have ever felt something so real and intense for. I'm sure you must have noticed that writing about her gets me excited too.????

In summary, Dating Mirabel is just as I had imagined it would be, sensational and sweet! Except that... I have to share her with her past.????

You see, she used to have a boyfriend during the earlier days of our friendship (that had also been the reason I held back for such a long time). It was her first ever relationship so she gave it all her best, untill everything went sour. Her heart was broken badly and her feelings were ridiculed. It was in her moments of despair I came along. She needed someone to talk to - I gave her my undivided attention, she needed someone to hold her up - I gave her my shoulders to lean upon. I guess I was just an angel sent to rid her off her pains, and she loved me for it. She still does. So badly.

But the problem is her convictions, her fears from the past and her urge to avoid making mistakes. She's in a relationship with me but she plays with the lessons she learnt from her past. She is too careful, too scared to not being good enough, too scared to not being strong enough. Her Ex had ditched her because she gave him her all without holding back, she was meek and vulnerable to him, but then he broke her heart because of that. And she thinks I might do the same if she doesn't play differently.

I guess the good guys always suffer the mess of the bad guys. ????

Because of the knowledge of her past, she finds it unnecessary to give me all her love. She feels she has overgrown being crazy about me, she wants a cold relationship because she felt her Ex thought her to be childish. And then I have to suffer it all.

Do you know why I'm telling you all these?

Because I'm with Her rightnow and we are having one of our controversial moments. Last night, She deleted a "loved-up" picture of us I posted on her wall. She did that without even informing or explaining to me why.

So I confronted her...

"Why did you do that?" I asked her. Trying to keep my voice as calm as normal, hiding the hurt in my tone.

She kept mute.

"Baby, why did you delete the picture of us I posted on your wall?" I asked again.

This time with more emphasis, but I was careful enough not to allow my emotions pour out in my words. Because I wouldn't want to sound like I was suspecting she's hiding our relationship from the public, because probably that might imply I'm just a 'side-guy' to her. But wait, am I? Hmmm... At this point my heart was pounding so hard in my chest. I waited intently to hear her reasons.

"I'm sorry" She said dryly.

I was mute for sometime, gathering momentum I guess. Because that was not what I was expecting to hear from her. Though it was a good thing she was sorry for her actions, it was written all over her face, but my ears itched to hear her reasons. I was dying to be convinced that what I was thinking was wrong. I wanted her to tell me something else, to prove to me I'm not a side-guy.

"Really?" Was all I could managed to say. Because I was lost in outright rage and bitterness.

She seem to notice my hurt and my fustrations. She looked into my eyes with great concern as she arched her mouth in a wordless angle. I could tell she was finding it hard to tell me her reasons, she knew I wanted to know 'why' and she was willing to tell me, but I guess she was scared how my reactions would meet her words.

"Are you cheating on me?" I finally asked. Not being able to stand the tension anylonger.

"No! I'm not!" She blurted out in total disagreement and disbelief.

(It was comforting though. At least my worst fear was gone????)

"Then...why?" I still pressed further for an answer. I really wanted to know her reason(s).

"I deleted it because___" she started. With a very sad expression on her face.

"I had a lot of pictures of my ex on my wall that when we broke-up it was so hard for me to deal with the shame and the memories"

"I just don't want to deal with that again... I'm sorry" She concluded.

Jezz! I felt a surge of anger bubble through my system. I hate it when she compares what we are having with what she had in the past. I hate it when she play safe around me like I'm no different from her Ex. And here she is, already thinking our relationship would end soon. Like I was planning on breaking her heart all-along.

I clenched my fist in rage and turned away from her, because that was the only way to prevent myself from lashing out my fustrations at her. Maybe She was right to take precautions, but she was definitely wrong for not trusting me enough.

Maybe I should ditch her for hurting me, or I could just teach her to trust me more.

What do you think? ????

As I turned to face her, I could read the expressions on her face, she was scared, vulnerable and remorseful. She couldn't figure out what my next action was going to be. So she tried to apologise again.

"I'm so sorry. I know I did wrong...." She said with triklets of tears trailing her face.

In a swift of a moment, I wrapped her in an embrace. A warm reassuring hug that sent chills down her spine.

"It's okay babe"

"You just have to trust me when I tell you I'm not going to hurt you. Never" I said as I tightened the hug around her.

"I love you"

================== FICTION ©2019

© Copyright 2020 john praise. All rights reserved.

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