Where You Belong.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Jane was never a girl who believed in herself, until she meets Tom. A young stunning boy who takes Jane under his wing, and shows her how life isn't perfect, and sometimes you have to let the ones you love go.

Submitted: August 07, 2011

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Submitted: August 07, 2011

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A:N/ I know my writing skills aren't as great as others, but I was inspired to write a short story by MarriahJustine. I read her story "Powers of Love", and it inspired my to write this story:D If you haven't already read it by her, you should. It's totally worth it! Anyways, I'm really looking forward to what you all have to say about it! And critism is welcomed:) I hope you all like it!

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I certainly wasn't a beauty queen, and if you told me that I'd have agreed. Although wonderful, I'd deny that too. I was outspoken in a soft-spoken way. I'd yell things I didn't mean when my whispers couldn't be truer. I'm Jane, and I was as plain as could be. Such are the ways of teenage girls. He was no Tom Cruise, but something about him that intrigued me. He sat on a bench in the park, blue eyes like the sky focused on the sunset. Maybe a hint of a tear made me speak as I watched him intently with wide, curious, green eyes.

"Hello," I said as I sat down beside him.

Though plain those words were, they came out anything but ordinary. "My name is Tom, " he said in a reserved, disdainful voice that seemed to say, 'just because I'm not Tom Cruise doesn't mean my name can't be Tom'. With a frustrated tone I said, "I didn't ask for your name." He retorted, "Well, I wanted your name and I wouldn't want anyone's name who wouldn't want mine." And as I began fuming, he flashed a carefree smile and I realized he was joking.

I laughed and his stare towards me became like the one he made towards the sunset. "Your hair is beautiful," he remarked as if it were a fact. I blushed, "no it's not. It's frizzy and annoying." "It's beautiful." and he returned his gaze to the sky. Somehow with these few words, I felt as if I knew Tom. Maybe those few words were all I needed. I stared into the sky, as if hoping to find what he stared at. As soon as my eyes glanced up at the sky, they widened with awe. Could it be I had spent my life without watching one single sunset? The sun illuminated the soft, green hills with shades of red and orange. Scattered clouds tinted with a golden glow covered a fiery sky.

As the sun moved closer and closer to the horizon, it seemed heavy with the weight of the day's memories. My eyes drooped at the rate of the falling sun, and I found myself mesmerized by shining yellow rays of the sun's beauty. A faded version of the moon hovered close to the earth, and it seemed for a moment it and the sun were at the same height and they exchanged hello's as the moon took its course northwards. I felt my inhibitions float up to the sun and disappear past the horizon with it. Feeling eyes upon me, I turned to see Tom staring at me. I smiled, because there was nothing to say, no way to express the beauty I saw- in the sky or in him. I relaxed in staring into those sky-like eyes and watching the reflection of the setting sun in them.

With a yawn and a quick blink to erase sleep, I leaped out of bed. I startled my cat, which was used to slow groans and shuffling feet. My hands brushed through my hair as I stared into the mirror, wondering who the beautiful girl staring back at me was. I smiled and startled myself, because I was used to unhappy faces and annoyed groans. My cat leapt onto the dresser and stared at me with bored eyes. Yes, idiot, it is you. Now get me some food! And I laughed with amusement of internal dialogues and myself. I poured food into a bowl and wondered why my family had a tendency to buy obese pets. My eyes glanced at my clock and I sighed because I didn't sleep in late at all. I hated my inability to sleep in. Swimming at the butt-crack of dawn every morning had the effect to make me feel that if I wasn't up at 9 o'clock then I was wasting away my day.

Waste or not, half of me wanted to curl back up in my blankets and dream again, but wishes amount to nothing. I stumbled towards my door, tripping over a shoe. Muttering explicit words to myself, I bent over to move the shoe and found a tiny little sheet of paper. I smiled; it must have fallen out of my pocket. It's funny how seven digits can make one happy. An insecure girl, the age of fifteen, I'd never before received a number from a guy I'd just met. Maybe this fact spoke volumes in the characteristic insecurity, which I clung to as if it were my last breath. There had been guys before, and all had shattered my confidence and left me glaring unhappily at a reflection I never thought I'd like. Hesitation made me set the number down; I didn't want to call him now. Anyways, I was hungry. Brushing insecure thoughts out of my mind and remembering the smell of Tom as I rest my head on his shoulders, I walked downstairs singing happily to myself. Passing my dad on the way, I said a cheerful good morning and he stared at me, unsure of what to think. But I continued on my path to the kitchen, and poured myself some milk and grabbed a muffin. There's no better way to start off a morning than with chocolate muffins. I brought over the two and sat at the table, happily munching on my muffins and washing them down with quick sips of milk. Having finished, I threw away the wrapper and brought over my glass. Feeling accomplished at having cleaned up a minimal amount, I walked upstairs to indulge in a hot shower. While washing my hair I reflected on the night before. I remembered the sun, the air, but most of all Tom.

Tom with his average height, and average looks, but above average smile. A smile that was so boyish, so young and innocent. A smile that completely contrasted with his eyes, which spoke of pain, but at the same time extreme passion and love. Through few words and few glances, Tom was a guy I definitely wanted to spend some time getting to know. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a big yellow towel. Yellow is such a cheery color. I walked into my room, wringing out excess water from my hair and finding myself haunted by thoughts of Tom. I put on a purple tank top and light color jean shorts, then preceded to the bathroom again for hair and make-up fixing. As I was finishing the last parts of my hair, I heard a calling from downstairs.

Phone. Rushing a little too excitedly, I slid on my bed sheets towards the phone. I took a deep breath and answered. "Mom I got it" And I heard a click. "Hello?"

"Jane," in a low voice filled with intrigue and mystery. "Hey Tom," and I hated the childish innocence which reverberated in every syllable. "How are you?" with the sound of I don't really care but I ask anyways. "I'm fine, how are you?" and I rolled my eyes with the annoyance of menial small talk which got nowhere and brought no information. Breaking the cycle, I asked, "What are you doing today?" "Taking you out." I smiled with frustrating amusement. "Is that a question or a demand?" "More of a wish, because I'm hoping you actually want to see me again." I frowned, because that was completely out of character. This reciting of lines just got a little more interesting. "Of course I want to see you. Why wouldn't I?"

A small awkward pause, and then an uncertain voice, "I don't know. Do you still want to do something?" "Didn't I just say I did?" "Did you?" I smiled again; I guessed I'd let him win this time. "I did." "So... what do you want to do?" "Come pick me up, we'll figure something out on the way." "Alright sounds good. How do I get to your house?" And I explained the directions, and he went on his way to pick me up. I rushed the last of my make-up, stepped into some sandals, and grabbed some money. A knock on the door startled me, and I called to my mom saying goodbye. I opened the door to find Tom leaning against the side with the cutest smile on his face. I smiled with anticipation and walked out, shutting the door behind me. He placed his arm around my waist, which I normally would have shied away from, but I felt so comfortable in his arms that it would have felt wrong to pull away. We walked to his car and he opened my car door for me, which I couldn't find more adorable. His dance-like walk and smiling face was almost too much to bear. Not to mention how unfamiliar being treated like a princess was, though I wasn't complaining. I suspected that today would be a constant smile and I wondered if my face could take it. I sat down and buckled my seatbelt. I watched him walk with insincere confidence, and I wanted more than anything to tell him how cute he looked but as always my lips were still. I watched him in adoration; wondering what he saw in me.

We drove without spoken words, but it wasn't awkward. With the radio blaring, we found ease in singing along to the same songs. I usually didn't have the confidence to sing around someone I didn't know, but I found security in the company of Tom. He kept his eyes on the road and he moved over his hand to take mine. Once again, I was struck by the sincere caring in his grasp. I wasn't sure, but I felt a little piece of myself melting with his touch. As we entered a neighborhood, I had the idea that perhaps he was taking me to his house. "I figure we'll drop by my house, maybe grab some food there or something. Or we could watch a movie." "Anything sounds good," as I added in my head 'anything with you'. I found myself completely lost as we twisted and turned down the roads to his house. I prayed that I wouldn't have to find my way here anytime soon. Soon we had parked in his driveway, and I opened my door myself, before he got a chance.

Laughing inside at my silent win, I followed him into his house. I always make everything into a game; call it a fatal flaw. He opened the door for me, and I walked in with a whispered thanks. Quickening his pace to catch up to me, his hand brushed mine and I grasped onto his unconsciously. I blushed with my assertiveness, and he leaned in closer to me. We walked into his room, and normally I'd be a little worried to be in not only a new friend's room, but a boy's room. But as usual I felt tranquility around Tom, and I sat on his bed, scanning the room for eye- catching material. He had graduated, because I saw graduation cards and a cap hanging on a coat-rack. I saw pictures of his friends, and I found myself staring at everyone, mostly in curiosity.

I was particularly interested in the girls, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy with the number of pictures in which he was holding them. But I shook off those feelings because they had no reason to be circulating my head. The walls were off-white as most bedroom walls are. The room itself was rather small, but with comfortable coziness. It was a little messy, but he was a boy so I let that slide. I felt like I knew him a little more, having been in his room. Tom turned on his radio and he sat beside me on the bed. Staring into his eyes, I knew he wanted to kiss me, and I couldn't say I would mind. But I was unsure of his feelings, unsure of mine most of all. I didn't know if I wanted to seal this newfound liking, because a crush it had become, with a kiss.

So I leaned into him with my head down, hoping he wouldn't force a kiss on me so soon. We didn't watch a movie, and we didn't go anywhere else. We lay on his bed, the two of us. We lay in innocent mutual like and we ignored the world. For about four hours there was only us; I think I enjoyed it that way.

Hours passed, and days alike. Soon it was had been two weeks since I'd met Tom, and something about his and my relationship seemed rushed. I still had yet to let him kiss me, because I wanted to know how he felt before I let that happen. Every day I grew to like him more and more, with our rendezvous in his bedroom and our meetings at the park. We talked late into the night about everything and anything. Tom was an amazing young man who couldn't see the same in himself. Of course I was the same way, but Tom made me feel that maybe something about me could be wonderful. But like my feelings of jealousy, those emotions were as quickly dismissed. But I never could dismiss the feelings I felt towards Tom, and every day I would stare at him in honest amazement at his charm. His smile, his walk, his eyes and his laugh. Everything about him was so innocent and boyish yet mature and intellectual. With his manner and jokes, perhaps one might think him a tad obtuse, but from our talks I knew it was quite the opposite. And with our week we had become inseparable, but it was still rushed, and something about that seemed ominous. I didn't want the sun to set on us, not now.

It was a Monday morning, and Tom said he had a surprise for me. He picked me up early that morning, around eight o'clock. He placed a blindfold on my eyes, and I laughed and asked what he was doing. He shushed me and helped me into the car. I felt the car start, and I butterflies appeared in my stomach concerning this "surprise". When the car stopped he opened the door and helped me out. He led me somewhere and had me sit down. I could tell it was our bench. There was a long pause, and silence only interrupted by the occasional crackling of leaves and grass under Tom's feet. I heard him walk towards me, and he reached his arms around me to untie my blindfold, allowing me to breathe him in.

I found myself intoxicated and completely enthralled in the feel of his arms around me. I silently wished for him to stay close to me forever, but he pulled the blindfold away, and revealed a small picnic with lit candles. Forgetting myself, I leaped up, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek in thanks. I startled myself, and pulled away, my arms still around his neck and my eyes staring into his in disbelief that I had just done that. I could tell by the shocked look in his eyes that he definitely wasn't expecting that. I was about to apologize when he leaned forward and kissed me deeply, and something clicked in that moment. I didn't care about what I felt because I knew what he felt, and that was sincerity towards me. He pulled away with a quick kiss on my forehead, and led me to sit down on the blanket next to him. He pulled out yellow napkins, knowing that was my favorite color. Next, he pulled out some small sandwiches, which I knew, him being a guy and all, he probably didn't enjoy making.

He pulled out a bag of fruit, and then lastly two chocolate muffins. I laughed and pulled him closer, and he moved his lips closer to mine but right then I didn't want to kiss him again. So I rummaged through the basket for drinks and I gave one to him. If there was any disappointment, he hid it well. We ate our lunch in mostly silence, a few words here and there but not many. It became apparent that something more than a kiss was troubling him. "Tom? Are you alright?" "I'm fine, why do you ask?" But his face said that he wasn't fine, and that something was wrong. I wasn't sure if I should pressure him into saying what was wrong. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but it's apparent that something is wrong. So even if you deny it, I'll believe what I'll believe." He sighed, "I'm not sure how to tell you." "How to tell me what?" He paused, and looked away.

A million possibilities ran screaming through my head and I wanted him to tell me before I drove myself insane. "I'm leaving." "What?" Something seemed unnatural about those words, like this shouldn't happen. He shouldn't be saying those words, he can't leave. "I'm leaving," but he repeated it with more sorrow than when he had previously said those same words. "How. how can you leave me?" "I have to." "Do you have to be so heartless and detached? You're leaving me! How can you leave me?" but I realized the stupidity in my statements, because here was a guy I'd known for little more than two weeks and I was questioning his leaving me. I doubted I meant that much to him anyways. "It's ripping me apart inside, Jane. I don't want to leave you, or my home, or this familiarity. But sometimes these things have to be done. I need to find a place where I belong, I want to find myself." It felt like he was trying to convince himself more than me, so I kept my opinions to myself and let him continue. "Jane, you are one of the most wonderful things to ever happen to me.

I know it seems silly saying this, having known you for such a short time and all, but I really like and care about you. This week has seemed like a year, but also like a minute. A year because I've gotten to like and know you so well, and a minute because it definitely wasn't long enough." He paused for breath, but I felt this was my opportunity to speak up. "Where are you going?" "Away. I'm actually not sure yet, I have enough money saved up to go anywhere. I'll leave in a couple weeks. I'm planning on renting a car and touring the country. Not for long though, just until school starts for me." "And then you'll come back?" "No. My school is in New York." "New York?" "I'll be back at the end of the year." "Tom, that's nine months from now. What am I going to do for nine months? Without you?" He scoffed, "What do you mean without me? You're better off without me, Jane. And anyways, you'll find some guy who'll worship and adore you and you'll forget all about me. The fact is, you're something I'm not, and that's amazing. You'll find someone in a couple of days and I'll be old news. I'm not good for you anyways." I felt filled with rage, because how could he say that not knowing how I felt? But words became jumbled in my head with anger muddling my thoughts.

"None of that is true, and you know it. I'm not amazing and you are. You will never be old news and I will never forget you. How can you say you're not good for me when you make me feel beautiful? Does that mean nothing?" "Maybe it does." He shook his head, "I'm nothing, Jane. Maybe you won't forget me, but nine months is a long time and you won't wait for me. I'm telling you that you don't have to. If things want to work out, they will." "If I don't have to wait for you, then you don't have to hold on to me. You'll find yourself someone better anyways." Again he scoffed, "No I won't. Guys like me don't get girls like you, and definitely anything better if there was such a thing. When I come back I know I'll still want you, I hope you won't push away my memory completely. But it's ok if you want to." Again I felt angry, because I hated how he assumed he could wait and I couldn't. I wanted to slap him, to yell and to scream. But the most overwhelming want was to hold him close, which is exactly what I did.

It was about two weeks later. Tom was leaving in a few hours, four am. My parents had agreed to letting me stay up that night with him, I pleaded with teary eyes. I guess emotion can get you somewhere other than nowhere. He drove me to the park, where we found our bench. I found myself staring at it with dejected eyes, wishing it were that night a month earlier when he wasn't leaving, and the sun was setting only for the night. But tonight the sun set with menacing colors. Dark red and purple hues on my face hopefully hid my tears.

I couldn't see the moon behind darkly lit clouds, so I was convinced it wasn't there. There were no golden rays to warm my face, only a harsh cold wind, which sent my hair flying into my face. But tonight I didn't have the energy to brush it away, so I sat and watched the threatening sky as I chewed on my own hair. A movement drew my attention, and I turned to see Tom staring at the same sky. I wondered what he was thinking as I studied his silhouette. I smiled despite the pain because he was still obliviously perfect in everyway. Maybe it was better like that. His shoulders slouched, and I wanted more than anything to right things between us, but that could only happen if he suddenly turned around and promised me he wasn't leaving. The sun set and I felt hopelessness wash upon me like a drowning wave.

His back was still towards me, and I guessed it was because he didn't know what to say and he didn't want to face my face. I couldn't blame him, if he stared into my eyes with his authenticity, I didn't think I could stand it. After a few minutes of thinking, he turned around and sat beside me. I placed my arm around him, and pull him tight against me. I could feel his breath against my chest and it was soothing in it's finality. I knew this was the end, the end of a month of bliss. Soon he would be gone, gone to find himself when I knew him all along.

Soon it was four, and the inevitable had finally come. He stood up on hesitant legs, and hugged me goodbye. I could feel in his arms the unwillingness to go. In his grasp he was asking me to tell him not to leave, because he didn't want to go anymore than I wanted him to. But I felt a sense of duty. He needed to find himself, to find a place where he felt he belonged. It didn't matter that it was right here; he needed to find it for himself. The only possible choice was to let him go, as much as it pained me. With a quick kiss on the lips, I said my goodbye. With a quick glance, I reassured him that life was more than slow kisses and sunset benches.

This wasn't the end of us; the sun hadn't really set. Maybe tonight would be nine months long, but I could sense a morning coming. But as reassured as I was, as he walked away I could feel my heart trailing after. I wanted more than anything to ruin my secret, to yell at him everything I felt. Most was left unsaid, but that was me. I wanted to chase him and yell, "Come back! You belong here, with me, in my arms. because I love you." But my lips were still and my voice was silent. The echoes of early morning silence rang in my head. Before I knew it, Tom's silhouette had disappeared. He was truly gone, although half of me hoped that he'd find his way back. Nine months isn't really that long of a time in the scheme of things, right? I took my own walk, not to find myself, just home. I looked up into the sky, something Tom had taught me. I saw a shooting star, how coincidental. I made a wish, a wish to keep Tom safe and bring him back to me, where he belongs.


© Copyright 2020 joliesse. All rights reserved.

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