No More Horsing Around

Reads: 466  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A Satire about foul pay in horseback riding competitions.

Submitted: February 25, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 25, 2012

A A A

A A A


The staggering lack of fair horsemanship has left many riders enraged. Multiple abuses and easy-going penalties leave many horse lovers and riders heartbroken and in tears. To right these wrongs, a new system will be put into place to stop these cold-blooded people. We will no longer horse around when it comes to discipline.

If caught, first-time offenders will be forced to compete and are not permitted to leave the grounds. If caught as a second-time offender, they will be forced to stand in the center of the ring with their horse that has been abused. Any third offender will have to hoof it down to the big house, for they will be photographed and their name and photo will be placed on a horse-offenders site. Anyone caught at a fourth time offender will be sent to do jail time and sentenced to public humiliation. Any public humiliation will be done in the ring and can vary between having water balloons thrown at them to being slapped by every competitor who is competing in the current show. These new laws will be put into effect as soon as possible to avoid farther offence.

Other punishments can be placed depending on the crime. Any rider found guilty of tying their horse high and short, as in the horse’s head is tied up high and on a short rope in order to get the horse to hold his head low in a class, will have his head tied high and short. Anyone found guilty of draining the blood of a horse in order to calm them down will he forced to generously donate a gallon of their own blood for every gallon that had been taken from the horse. Any person found using drugs to calm their horse down will be forced to take the same drugs before going into the show ring with the exception of people who have a vet’s permission to use performance drugs on their horses. The exception will only hold for horses with arthritis or older horses. For those riders who are too lazy to warm-up their horses before the class and have their instructors ride them will be forced to carry their instructors on their back for the remainder of the show. For riders and blacksmiths that are guilty of filing down a horse’s hooves so that they stand at pony high will have their legs cut the same amount as they filled down. All other crimes will be dealt with in this manor.

Any other sign of false horsemanship will be dealt with quickly. If convicted of sabotaging another rider’s horse the convicted will be forced to give the same form of sabotage to their own horse. If a rider sabotages another’s tack or equipment, the punishment will be to ride bareback for the rest of their classes. Any rider who commits minor crimes will be fined and removed from the show grounds in order to be escorted back to their barn by the police. Other forms of punishment can range from being tied to their horse and cantered around the ring to being tied to the back of their horse trailers and forced to talk home.

These mild punishments will gently guide those who show unfair horsemanship back to the path of fairness. Fair and just punishment will be dealt with at horse shows at all levels including district and state levels. The judges and officials at horse shows will be required to deal out punishments as they see them fit and will not tolerate any horseplay from the offenders. In order to keep eyes on all contenders, new security cameras will be placed around the showing area and can be accessed by the FBI and local authorities if needed.


© Copyright 2020 Jordon Nike12 WolfgangIVI. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments: