Wanting What You Can't Have

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
Decided to try my hand at Poetry. Inspired by the person I can't have.

Submitted: April 21, 2013

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Submitted: April 21, 2013



Wanting What You Can't Have


Your beautiful smile

Your wonderful laugh

Your warm hand in mine

Never meant to last


On our first meeting

You looked at me with beautiful hazel eyes

Hair in loose waves

A captivating smile

And that was it

You held my heart tight


The first time I heard your voice

Like a melody of a song

And before I knew it you were stuck in my head

An irrisistable tune

An ipod stuck on repeat

Pretty soon every song sounded like your voice


We were co-workers

We worked together

A crush like that would never last

Or at least that's what I thought

My forbbidden crush grew stronger with every passing day

Every hidden smile and lovely glance

I was so into you

I am still so into you


But a dark shadow loomed around you

A word that would crush me

But I guess that's why they call it a "Crush" huh?


One word that had me seeing red

Turned my eyes green

Made me want to break down

Made me want you more


You don't talk about him around me

And in a way I am grateful

You mentioned him once

And I can't believe that he is faithful

Some sort of rebel bad boy stole your heart

and I've made it my goal to win it back

But you've been with him for years

I know your mom approved of him

I know his is the silver ring you wear on your left hand

I hate him


I hate him because he has you

I hate him because I can't have you

I hate him because he can hold you

I hate him because he can touch you

I hate him because he can kiss you

I hate him because you love him

Or at least I think you do

I hope with all my heart

That it isn't true


I hate myself because I've fallen for you

I hate myself because I love you

I hate myself because I let myself fall for you

I hate myself because I'm a girl

And you would never look at me as anything more than a friend

Nothing but that puppy who follows you around

Nothing but that stupid mutt that always waits for you

Nothing but that girl you have wrapped around your finger


Some days you talk to me

Some days you don't

Some days we spend hours together

Some days we don't see each other at all

Some days we are laughing

Some days you are pushing me away

Some days you flirt

Some days you avoid

Some days you smile at me

Others you laugh

Some days I have your full attention

Others you are pushing me aside for someone else


Do you feel anything for me?

You flirt with me

With that flirty grin and petnames



You're too cute

You make me blush and then giggle

You have me craving your attention

Perhaps I came on too strong?

Perhaps I seemed annoying at first?

I think you've warmed up to me a little more

You smile at me every time you see me

The first person to say "hello" to me when I walk into a room

The first person to talk to me

The first person I've ever felt so attracted to


You seem to warm up more to me with time

I can always get you to laugh

Always get you to smile

You rest your hand on my shoulder

On my arm

You invade my personal space

Coming so close that there are mere inches of space between our faces

Kissing you would be so easy

So fluent from that distance

Pulling you into my arms would be natural

The motion would be done with such ease


You've hugged me once

It was your last day of work

The very feeling of being in your arms

Like nothing around us mattered

There was only me

Only you

No boyfriend or parents or society to tell us it was wrong

I was happy

I never wanted to loose you

Never wanted to say good-bye

so we kept in touch


Was it a mistake?

Should I had cut you off so that I could move on?

I didn't want to

Didn't intend on letting you go

So we saw each other regularly

Talked about meaningless thing

We talked about serious things

Things that would bring us together


Now I realize that you are everything that I ever wanted

A friend

A shoulder to lean on

A light

A shred of hope

A sense of humor as quirky as my own

A person who would always be there for me

A person who would never leave me

Someone I Trusted

Someone I felt loyal to

Someone who didn't put me down

Someone who held me up

And i think she feels the same

We hold each other up

We are loyal to each other

We need each other in our lives

We talk to each other about things we can't talk to anyone else about

A beautiful friendship


And it only makes me want to be with her more

She's all I wanted

All I need

But I can't have her

A silver band prohibits me

A ring on her left hand

A small and intimate detail

Something that makes me see red

Makes my eyes turn green

Makes me want to tell her everything

So she'll reject me and then I could leave

I could walk away

I could move on

I could run away


I don't want to


I See a silver ring

A plain silver band

I don't know what it means

But it's on her left hand

Maybe it's not what I think

Maybe it is

But I will stay at her side

No matter what because

I love her

I need her

I want to see her happy

To see her happy


Even if I can't have her

© Copyright 2017 Jordon Nike12 WolfgangIVI. All rights reserved.

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