A Story by Jorge Ferra

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a story about a boy that's in love with a girl, but she wants no one. The boy suffers depressions and suicidal thoughts. He has many family problems but even though he keeps trying.

Submitted: July 21, 2008

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Submitted: July 21, 2008

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Well this is a story about a small, brown eyed, brown hair, 15 year old normal boy. He liked to play soccer, hang out and do active stuff. Outside he was smiling but inside he was dying. School was the least of he’s worries; he had good grades, without spending too much time with his homework. He was in love with this girl. And that’s what made him miserable, and unhappy. The one and only thing he wanted was being with that girl. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, say I love you, and most of all he wanted to make her happy. He actually wanted a future with her, be with her for a very long time. He’s goal was that, and if he accomplished that, I would say that he would be the happiest boy on earth.

She got in school at 4th grade, and he was in that school since kindergarten. But they never met, until 8th grade. They were in the same classroom and since he saw her he was kind of interested. He was lucky she was a part of the honor society because that’s where they actually met. He knew she lived in the same neighborhood; but never actually saw her there nor knew where she lived. When the boy was younger he never got to roam the neighborhood, he didn’t even go out much, he was lonely, independent, and in he’s own little world. He didn’t mess with no one, but he knows how to defend himself. When he started going out, he made more friends. One day while playing basketball he hit a guy in his balls; and got hunted by 3 guys in bike, they were rewarding 50 bucks for his capture. He got captured but got off easily, luckily one of the guys that was chasing him, was the girl’s brother. And there he got a step closer to her. In school they never actually talked, but he wanted to talk to her. On an honor activity, he got her phone number. And he got a computer, got her email, and they started chatting. They got to know each other, the stupidest way thoughgh, but they did. One night he was in his friends house, it was 2 in the morning, he said to her:

-Boy: “Hey, in what street do you live? “
-Girl: “I leave in the street before yours, but a block away “
-Boy: “Can I go to your house? “
-Girl: “Sure, but I don’t think my dad will like that”
-Boy: “whatever I’ll go anyway”

The boy went with his neighbor, to her house at 2 am, while his dad was sleeping, so he went out withought any permission or supervision. He got to her house, and started talking to her. She lived in a 2 story house; she was talking from her terrace balcony, while he was in the street. They were talking until she told him to go away because he was going to get stabbed by her dad. So you can imagine he said that he would go. After that day, he kept going to her house, daily. They kept talking, he called her, and they spent approximately from 2 to 6 hours talking. On October he was going to throw a Halloween party. He invited her brother and her; but she didn’t go. He went to her house to get her but she didn’t go. So they kept talking. The days passed, and I’m still thinking if he had a chance or not. Because he thinks she was in love with her, but the problem was he was with 2 girls at the same time, he really was an asshole. He went to Dorado with one of his girlfriends, to stay for a couple of weeks in her house. He kept calling her even though he was with another girl. She knew he wanted her. But she didn’t want to be with him. One day she texted him. And she said he was going to leave one of his girlfriends to be with her; but he wasn’t going to do that really. He wanted to leave both of them, just to be with her, but he was too much of an idiot to notice what he was losing, just for spending a good time. He lost the perfect girl thanks to his hormones. He really wanted her. But he wasn’t capable or should I say smart enough to leave the other 2 and get to know the perfect girl even more. When he got back to his house she wrote down in her personal message, “yay! You are back!” He thinks it was because he came back to his house and was going to go see her again. But he still was with the other 2 girls. When he left the 2 girls, she was no longer interested in him. She thought he was a player and just wanted to mess with her, but in the inside he wasn’t going to do that. When he realized she wasn’t interested in him, he went with another girl, he really was an asshole. But still being with that girl, he wanted to be with that perfect girl. He kissed passionately the girl he which he was in that moment, but he couldn’t get out of his mind that other girl. He spent 6 months of his life with that girl. But in the mean time he got to know the perfect girl and ended up being her best friend. He always tried to spend his free time with her, and they got to know every single thing about each other. He showed great respect to her and to her family. Finally they graduated from 8th grade, and in the graduation they discovered that they knew each other since he was born. They’re grandmothers were neighbors, and they played with each other since babies. But his grandma moved and her’s passed away so they got disconnected from each other. So they graduated, got a couple of snapshots and he preferred to go with her, than with his girlfriend to eat after the graduation, and he did. They spent a lot of that summer together. When the 9th grade school year started, they had a change of school, so it meant, new girls, but it also meant new boys. When the year started he ended his relationship with his girlfriend. After that he wanted to be with her, but he still was an asshole, with a whore reputation. School year kept going, and he met another girl, he got to know her, and the least he expected was being with her, she was a great girl too, and he got to love her; he forgot about the perfect girl for a while, but in the inside he still wanted to be with her. He had a great relationship with that girlfriend, but didn’t get to see her much which was a huge problem for him; he didn’t like the fact that he was having a long distance relationship; he got to se her like 3 times a month. But when he was with her he felt great. But still he wanted the perfect girl. After the relationship with the girl ended, he ended up in a depression, but got back in track when he saw he could still be with her. But still he was an asshole. He made his ex-girlfriend suffer too much, she didn’t want to live but he didn’t want that to happen, he wanted to stay like buds, and still he isn’t worth life, he’s just worth 50 bucks. So he’s ex got out of the depression, after a while. And he got out of it too, but still he was an asshole. He’s relationship with her was like from, November to January. He was such an asshole that in February he was already with another girl. The dude was really an idiot. And he spent like a month with that girl, he really lost a month of his life. But after that relationship ended, he noticed what he really wanted, he was going head’s on to being with her. And he was capable of ignoring other girls and doing whatever he needed to do to be with her, and he did.

It was 15th party year. She already had her’s on January, he got to sleep in her house that night. They went together to like 3 parties. And in one of them they danced a lot and he slept on her house to, he realized that night that he would do anything for her. That night, he wanted to kiss her so badly, but he did nothing. He was saying in his mind that, that girl was from another planet. He saw in her things he never saw, he realized, she was unique, beautiful, and just perfect. He wanted to get her out of the other planet and sit her on his side. She liked pop corn, and Oreo’s a lot. After that party he never saw her the same way. He wanted to be the boy for her, in her list of numbers, he wanted to be the boy she called. He never imagined he could love someone like that, and the most incredible thing is that, he hasn’t been with her. He was going thru some problems, because his dad moved to Miami and had to leave his house, and her behind, and they talked less, and he got to see her even lesser. He was frustrated. He was done for. He’s life was ruined. His dad came back, but he had rented his house till November, and it wasn’t even half way to June; they didn’t get to talk much, he was actually in a depression because he didn’t even get to see his friends, and to rap it all up, he wasn’t her best friend anymore, he suffered a lot, he’s world was crushed. He cried like never before, he thought that after everything, he would never be with her, and he loved her to death, he wanted to end with his life, but wasn’t fully capable. He entered a crisis after he’s dad and his dad’s girlfriend got crazy, and fought and she started a war in his family, he even left the house for the 2nd or 3rd time. The 1st time he got hit by his drunk dad, which was another total disaster. He’s dad is an alcoholic in negativity, which was another problem. He honestly had a lot of problems, because another time that he left the house was because no one wanted to pay for his school and wasn’t going to graduate. So when he left the house when the war was unwrapped he entered a crisis, he didn’t want to know about his dad or that side of his family, since his parents were divorced he went to live with his mother. And since he was in a crisis, he cried each and every day, day after day, night after night. He started to go back to his neighborhood, just to hang out, and be with her. He loved to sleep in her house and he did stay there a couple of times. He had a birthday party in July 5 which he wanted to cancel thanks to the crisis he was in. He got reanimated, thanks to his friends, but not thanks to her, they actually were fighting; which was like a stab that her dad never did, but worse. He wanted to die before fighting with her. He had a lot of suicidal thoughts; he’s life was crap. No friends he could see. Nowhere to go. He didn’t want to know about his family. But worse he was lost his best friend but not totally. But the worst of all was that the girl he loved, was fighting against him. He was crushed, his suicidal tendencies had never been so high, but he stood strong. He thought about suicide solution, but he thought it twice and noticed that taking he’s life wasn’t the solution to the problem, he realized he would provoke even more problems, and he wished bad to no one. He just wanted things to be good again, without problems or fights, just happiness and relaxation with the girl he loved. In that time he hated loving her, but at the same time he still wanted to go on. He did. He’s birthday party was great! Everyone liked it. And after that he got his happiness back, and stood positive. He kept going to his neighborhood, and got to talk to the girl again. But there was a problem, one of his best friend, was in love with her too! He really didn’t want that to happen, each time they were both in her house, it was like a mind war. There he noticed that a look can say a lot. He still wanted to be with her, but she didn’t want no one, and she still thought he was a player. Even though he had changed drastically, he’s been 6 months without looking at someone else, just her. He just brained storm a lot, in some of those brain storming issues he thought if he was meant to be with her. Or if they should just be friends. But he kept saying that if they weren’t meant to be, he can make it meant to be. He was so confident, he thought that he can change thoughts and lives. But what if it wasn’t meant to be, what if he was creating another crisis; you see, he had a very close relationship with her parents and her, if he accomplished what he wanted, will it be the same? Will he be able to stay in her house, will he even be able to go visit her; or if something bad happened in the relationship, maybe the friendship could end. He also has his best friend in love with the same girl which would be 2 friendships to lose, or damage, and there definitely would be no way to fix it. Some people are lucky to have nothing to lose, but he has a lot to gain and far more to lose. But he thought that if he can make other people happy he can make her happy, but can he find a way to accomplish that; he honestly had no idea how to do that because he only knows her as a friend. And maybe it will be the only way he will know her. But since he has been in love her, he felt lonely, and empty, and he kept thinking that she would be the one to fill that space, but didn’t want her to fill that space, he wanted to be with her, and lots of people thought that he just wanted to be with her for fun, people thought that he will be with her the same way as he was with the other girls; and he knew he wouldn’t be like that, he didn’t want to hurt her in any way. So he treated her from far away he never did it directly. It was far more easier talking with her on chat, than on person.

He wanted more confidence; he wanted to be made for her in some way or another. It was kind of funny what happened to him when he saw her, it was like he heart burst into fire and inside that fire there was a desire for love. He wasn’t desperate, sounds like it, but he wasn’t he was calm, waiting for the time to come. He was going to move back to his house on august it was almost half way July. Back to school was getting close, shopping centers where full, he went with his friend to one, because he was going to buy some school stuff. While they were shopping, his friend told him he wanted to talk clean, and serious about his love, and the boy’s. The boy let him know he loved her, and that he wouldn’t give up. His friend never actually said anything about it.

Love is pretty harsh, but people have to accept reality, one falls in love with the best person he can find. The boy did that, but he kept thinking, was he good enough for her, does he deserve her after all of the damaged he has done to the other girls. He was staying in his friends house, the one that is in love with the same girl, there the boy had a fight with his father, his dad was an alcoholic, he was recently integrated in anonymous alcoholics, he said that no one helped him, just his girlfriend. The boy got mad, and started to yell, he told his dad that his family tried to help him for years, and that he never paid attention, and that even himself told him to get help and that he wouldn’t listen. His dad hung up. The boy got mad and called him again; he asked why did he hang up, and his dad said that he got mad, and the boy just said that he could just forget about him, and that he could just go and keep fucking his girlfriend and make a new son because he had just lost one. And he hung up. The boy entered yet another crisis. On that moment he said that he was never coming back home, he was never going spend long days with the girl he loved, he was going to forget about his friends since he won’t get to see them, and they where going to college next year, he was only going to 10th grade. Thanks to that fight, his future got a little messed up, because he was aiming for a scholarship, he was going to get it for his grades and sports. He played soccer and he was an athlete. His life was dark and foggy, now he is starting to feel the thunder. Still his dad is a knuckle head. He’s summer was ending, school is about to start, free time is going to end.

The past week he had some fights with the girl he liked. She was mad at him for being such a jerk sometimes, and he honestly was one, but just when he was mad or had a bad day. He had some serious conversations with her too; but those are some dirty little secrets I can’t say. Still he went to her house everyday of the past week, he was crazy about her, he is planning on taking her out this weekend, but with some friends though. He can’t imagine how it would be if he just goes out with just her, maybe he would get some alone time, and get her to fall in love with him. He would do anything to gain that. But who knows what event could achieve that, if the only thing people look at are the consequences of an event, no one ever thinks of possibilities. He thought about both. He was thinking on just alone time with her. because each time he went with his friend to her house, there was an invisible war between them, trash thought fights. The boy could see inside the eye of his friend the fire burning, the fire was screaming “go away” so badly, but the boy’s eyes where throwing water at his friend’s, he turned the fire off.

The boy could only guess what runs in the mind of her. She showed no clue, not even a sneak peak. It was a huge suspense movie, in real life. But still, who ever said that being a teenager was easy. Adults say is easy life, but they are wrong, they only do the hard work, they work, just to make your childhood easy; now a days being a teenager is harder than being an adult. School is harder, there’s more history, more discoveries. Teenagers care a lot what people think about them. They even get more depressions than adults.

He is hoping he could hurry and get to the eye of the storm, and follow it before the eye of the storm came to him. He was giving all up, he wasn’t thinking of his future, he wasn’t thinking of what to do, he lost track of everything, he is even doubting his love for her, but he can’t deny that he does, there was no way that he wouldn’t actually love her. He was looking for a way to get her to fall in love with him, but the way he is going, it seemed impossible. He is falling into a lot of depressions, and his happiness is going south. How can he make a girl happy, if he can’t even make himself happy. He thought that if he would be more than happy being with her, maybe she would be happy being with him, but he had to find a way to make that happen and show her that she can be more than happy being with him. The next day the boy went to his neighborhood, he plans a lot in his mind, but never actually does something; so much of an asshole that he was, now he doesn’t even dare to make her fall in love with him. He needed alone time and will to do it. His faith was big even though he doesn’t show it. He felt horrible, but focused at the same time, he had lost his father, but he hasn’t lost the chance of being with her. He even thought of something else, maybe he won’t lose his friendship with his friend, if he got the chance to be with her; maybe he would be okay knowing that both of them are happy. He even thought of the possibility that he won’t lose her friendship neither, he can make an arrangement, and if something went wrong they could still be friends. As people say friends in the good times and in the bad times.


© Copyright 2017 jorge. All rights reserved.

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