An Old Man's Tale

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic
Another long joke turned into a short story. Enjoy!

Submitted: May 31, 2014

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Submitted: May 31, 2014

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An Old Man's Tale

 

This old man was very very rich.  Mostly because he was a miser.  He was literally the cheapest guy on the face of the earth.  After living well into his early eighties he discovers that he has a congenital heart defect and only has a few months left to live.  Because of his age no doctor in the United States would consider him a candidate to be placed on an organ transplant waiting list.  So he flies to South Africa and contacts an underground organ seller. 

 

The salesman tells him "Well I have three hearts currently available.  The first one comes from a 19 year old football player.  He never smoked, drank or did any drugs.  He died in a car accident.  His heart's fine.  It'll cost you $250,000 including surgery."

 

"That's kind of steep" the old man replies.  "What else do you have?"

 

"The second heart comes from a 21 year old baseball player.  He also never smoked, drank or did any drugs.  He died in a motorcycle accident.  His heart's fine.  It will cost you $300,000 including surgery."

 

"That's also kind of steep" the old man says.  "What's the deal with the third heart?"

 

"The third heart comes from a 47 year old man.  He smoked 3 packs of filterless cigarettes a day for at least 25 years.  He drank a fifth of whiskey every day for about that same time period.  He also used cocaine and marijuana.  He died of a gunshot wound.  His heart's fine.  It will cost you $400,000 including surgery."

 

"$400,000" the old man replies.  "I don't get it.  Why would his heart be so much more expensive then the other two?  Especially given his age and medical history."

 

"The man was a lawyer" the salesman explains.  "He was killed by a disgruntled client.  His heart was never used."

 

"I'll take it!" the old man answers.

 

 


© Copyright 2018 Joseph Mark. All rights reserved.

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