The Lawyer's Tale

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic

Another short story based off a long joke. Don't worry I'll get back to 330 Jay Street shortly.

The Lawyers' Tale

 

This guy gets a job at the United Way.  Unfortunately his job is to solicit donations over the phone.  So he decides to check the agency's financial records and only call the people they know to have a lot of disposible income.  His first call is to Jonathan Black, a very successful lawyer.

 

"Good evening Mr. Black.  This is Joe calling from the United Way.  How are you doing today?" Joe asks.

 

"Just fine until you called" Mr. Black responds.  "What the hell do you want?"

 

"Well, sir I was wondering if you'd care to make a donation to the United Way" Joe answers.  "Our records indicate that you're the richest lawyer in town, with an income exceeding $1 million dollars a year.  I was hoping that you'd care to donate to a very worthy cause."

 

"Tell me, Joe," Mr. Black asks "Did your records tell you about my mother?"

 

"No" Joe replies.  "They only give us gross income."

 

"Are you aware of the fact that my mother has a terminal illness, lives on social security, and that her medical bills far exceed her income?" Mr. Black asks.

 

"I wasn't aware of that, sir" Joe answers.

 

"For that matter, did your records tell you about my brother?  I'll have you know that he is a Gulf War veteran.  Right now he is partially disabled, homeless, and has no source of income whatsoever." Mr. Black says.

 

"I'm genuinely sorry to hear that" Joe says.

 

"Furthermore" Mr. Black adds "I guess your records didn't tell you about my sister either.  Are you aware of the fact that her husband ran off and abandoned her with two kids?  She is now on welfare and living in a housing project!"

 

"I am very sorry to hear about your family problems Mr. Black" Joe responds.  "They only give me gross income information here."

 

"So tell me, Joe" Mr. Black asks "If I don't give my money to any of them, why the hell would I give it to you?"

 

 


Submitted: May 23, 2014

© Copyright 2021 Joseph Mark. All rights reserved.

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Comments

B Douglas Slack

Mine. Mine! All Mine! BWAAAhahahahahahahaha!

Fri, May 23rd, 2014 1:29pm

Author
Reply

That just about says it.

Tue, May 27th, 2014 9:58pm

AbstractKash

The last two sentences totally made my day xD Did not see that coming. This was GREAT! LIKE. Update me!

Sun, June 15th, 2014 8:22am

Author
Reply

I'm glad you liked it and will KYU.

Mon, June 16th, 2014 5:37pm

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