Dawn Of The Tuna

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
The origin story of Lady Tuna.
Let us peer into the past of one of the most vile space queens
of the Funkoo galaxy.

Submitted: October 14, 2014

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 14, 2014




King Georgie Tuna waited outside the queen's bed
chamber when the midwife came out...

"How is my wife?" The king asked...

"She's resting,your majesty."

"Can I see the baby?"

"Of coarse."

The king entered the room quickly to see his baby...

"Ooh,I hope it's a boy!" The king wondered,getting his
hopes up.When the king looked down at the newborn next to his wife,a
look of disappointment came over his face.Under his glare was his baby
daughter with two little hair puffs on each side of her bald head.The
king was furious...

"Son of a fuckin' bitch! Not another fuckin' daughter?!
Why?!...Why me?!"
The king shouted as he left the room with his hands up
in the air.The baby girl was blessed with the name Princess CaCa Carlakianna
Booshaylianna of Tunakia (Princess Carla for short).


The king & queen never spent any time with Princess Carla,
but left her in the care of a mean,and nasty old Bee Bee named Nanny
Kibbles.Every morning she would scare the little princess by sticking
her big,wrinkled,green head into her crib to wake her up...

"Wake up,you bad baby!"

Nanny Kibbles shouted at her with fermented fruit on
her breath.She would nudge Baby Carla in the belly with her big green
nose,glaring down at her with her granny glasses.It made Baby Carla cry

One morning Baby Carla discovered the contents inside
her diaper,and decided to express herself with it.She had spread her
dooky all over the nursery.On the walls,on her face,and inside her crib.
Nanny Kibbles entered the nursery,and started to scream when she saw the
shitty mess...

"AAAAAH!!! You bad baby!"

Baby Carla started to cry when Nanny Kibbles picked her
up,and dumped her in a basin of hot soapy water for a bath...

"Hold still while I wash you!"

She screamed at Baby Carla as she scrubbed her tiny body
a raw pink.Somehow Nanny stepped on a wet bar of soap,and slipped.She
fell back,and hit her head on a toy chest.Trying to pull herself back up,
she grabbed the diaper pail,knocking it over.A long hard turd rolled out
of it in front of Baby Carla.Standing there butt naked with anger filling
up inside her tiny body for this horrible old Bee Bee.Baby Carla reached
over,and grabbed the turd,grasping it in her tiny fist like a knife...

"Drop that doo doo,you naughty baby!"

Nanny Kibbles shouted at her with a stern look on her face.
Baby Carla raised the turd over her head,and charged at her nanny with it.
Nanny Kibbles fell back screaming in horror as Baby Carla's tiny baby legs,
bounced back & forth as she ran towards her...


Baby Carla plunged the turd into Nanny Kibbles gapping
mouth,causing her to gag,and puke all over the place.A feeling of glee
came over the princess when she did this naughty deed,that she layed in
her nanny's vomit,and rolled around in it giggling.Nanny Kibbles got
real mad...
"You little Bitch!"

She jumped on Baby Carla,and began to strangle her.The
maid came in as Nanny Kibbles was banging Baby Carla's head on the floor.
She dropped her towels in shock,and screamed...

"STOP THAT!What are you doing to the princess?!"

The maid came to Baby Carla's aid,and pulled the nanny
off her...
"That child is an abomination! She'll be the death of
us all!" Nanny Kibbles warned her...

"Get out,before I call the royal guards!"


The three princesses were getting dressed for one of
thier father's royal balls...

"Princess Carla could you help me with my gown?"

Princess Tatyanna asked...

"In a minute,sister dear.Tee,hee,hee."

Sixteen year old Princess Carla replied in the next room...

"Oh,what is she doing in there?" Princess Tatyanna wondered...

"Knowing her,she's probably touching herself again (giggle)."

Princess Jezzabella joked.Princess Carla stood in the doorway
naked with just her tiarra,necklace,bracelets,and her gold boots on.Her
two sisters turned around in shock...

"Well,how do I look? Do you like? Tee,hee,hee."

Princess Carla asked...

"Princess Carla where is your gown?"

"Me don't need no fancy frock! I want everyone to see
my true self!"
"Well,you can't go to the gala in the nude like that!
The palace ballroom will be filled with aristocrats,and delegates from
all over the galaxy!You will bring shame to our family,and our planet!"

"Uh,huh.Like I really give a fuck!Besides,one day I'll
be queen of this shithole,and I'll get to do what I fuckin' want!"

Her two sisters looked at each other,and busted out
"You queen? Oh,hoo,hoo,hoo!"

"Oh,yeah?!" Princess Carla shouted...

"Yeah!When our parents are gone,I'm the next one in line
to be queen,and when I'm gone,Tatyanna will take over the thrown,because
I don't want to have any kids!By the time her dynasty ends,you'll be dead,
and stinking up the royal tomb.One of her children will rule Tunakia,not
you!" Princess Jezzabella told her...

"Or,they might elect the first president of Tunakia.
You'll never be queen,and be nothing more but a long forgotten footnote
in the Tunakian archives." Princess Tatyanna piled on.

Princess Carla became furious with her two sisters as
they continued to laugh at her...


Princess Carla stormed out of the room.When she came downstairs,
she entered the royal ballroom.Everything came to a schreeching as everyone
turned around to look at her in dismay.A 300 pound woman fainted.She shook
the whole floor when she collapsed.The king covered his face in shame...

"Princess CaCa Carlakianna,your entrance is not acceptable.
You did not wait for the fanfare trumpets,nor did you wait to be announced,
before you entered the ballroom,dear."

Queen Anna Tuna told her naked daughter.Suddenly everyone
pointed & laughed at the princess which made her even more angrier...

"Urgh!Get the fuck out of my way!"

Princess Carla shouted,as she pushed one of the guards.


Princess Carla attended a elite private school for the
higher classes of Tunakian Society.The princess was not a good student,
and got into trouble often.She wasn't popular either,except for a few
students who were "outcasts" like her.In her circle was SAMMYMEDE,a genius
level nerd who would help the princess to cheat in science class.The second
friend was a thin,effeminate gay boy named CHAKNEE who just wanted to be
one of the girls,and the last one was WILHELMINA WOO WOO,the school slut.
Princess Carla admired her the most,because she wanted to be a whore like her.
The foursome hung out together during recess.The princess had her share of
enemies too.Three royal Bee Bee exchange students had a strong dislike for the
princess,and the feeling was mutual.

Princess Carla always felt that there was a hidden bias when it
came to the special treatment the Bee Bees received in school,and pretty much
the rest of Tunakia.Princess Carla had a strong resentment towards them.A
double standard as she saw it.Everytime Princess Carla entered Mrs.Crabbles
classroom,the three royal Bee Bee instigaters,PRINCESS GARYETTA BEE BEE,
tease & taunt her...


"Yes,Princess Garyetta?"

"Can I move my seat somewhere else in the classroom? The stench
of Princess Carla's body odor is distracting me from doing my school work."

"She's full of shit!Me don't stink!"

"Now Princess Carla,it's important to have good female hygiene
when you come to school."

Mrs.Crabbles pointed out.The whole class started to laugh at
Princess Carla,some held their noses at her in mockery.Anger started to brew
in Princess Carla...

"Settle down class.It's time to give back your test papers.Some
of you did quite well.While others failed horribly."

Mrs.Crabbles hands over Princess Carla's test.It had a big "F"
on it...
"Not only does Princess Carla smell,she's a Dumb Ass as well!"

As the three Bee Bee princesses laughed,Princess Carla went into
a fury...

Princess Carla grabbed one of the little Bee Bee princesses,and threw
her across the classroom.She splatted on the wall,and into a waste paper basket.
She grabbed another princess,and tossed her out the window.The third one ran from
her.Princess Carla chased her through the classroom,trying to stomp on her.Mrs.
Crabbles started to yell...

"Princess Carla!This is not proper behavior!You will go to the principal's
office immediately for disrupting my classroom!"


Princess Carla stormed out of the classroom.


Princess Carla was summoned to the king's den where King Georgie & Queen 
Anna Tuna were waiting to talk to her...

"You summoned me,Father?"

"Yes,Princess Carla.You've been expelled from school.According to the
principal,and your teacher,you had seriously injured two Bee Bee princesses,and
terrorized your classroom." The king pointed out...

"Mrs.Crabbles is making up stuff! She hates me!" Princess Carla told
her father...
"DO NOT LIE TO ME,CHILD!" King Georgie shouted...

"Your actions have caused a critical rift in our relationship with the
Bee Bees!As a good gesture,you're going to march right down to that hospital,and make
a public apology to those princesses you attacked!"

"Huh?!No me ain't!"

"Oh,yes you are!"

"No me ain't,neither!They started it!Why should I kiss their privileged
"Princess Carla,watch your tongue!"

"No!I'm sick & tired of them coming to our planet acting like they're
better than us,acting like they own everything,or we owe them something!I hate them!

King Georgie slapped Princess Carla across the face for saying those
awful things.He then called the guards...

"Guards!Escort the princess to her room.Make sure she does not leave
it without my permission."

The guards took Princess Carla away.Queen Anna Tuna followed...

"Ha,ha!Carla's in trouble!"

Her two sisters laughed.Princess Carla stuck her tongue at them...

"Girls,go back to your rooms!"

Queen Anna told them.When they arrived at Princess Carla's room,
Queen Anna tried to reason with her daughter...

"CaCa Carlakianna,please try to understand how important the Bee Bees
are to your father,and our world.Their combat skills & technologies in weapons are
highly advanced.They are an asset to us in case we are attacked by our enemies the

"It's not Cookamungus-X that we should be concern about,mother,but
the enemies that walk among us."

Princess Carla told her mother.


Wilber E. Beaner arrived at the gates of the Tunakian palace.A teacher
from the planet Pluton,he traveled to Tunakia when he was hired by King Georgie to
tutor his troubled daughter Princess Carla...

"Yes,can I help you?" Asked the voice on the intercom when Mr.Beaner
pushed the doorbell...

"Eh,yes.My name is Wilber E. Beaner.I was hired by the king to tutor
his daughter Princess CaCa...Eh,Oh!"

"CaCa Carlakianna.Yes,you are expected.Please enter."

The gates opened after the buzzer,and Mr.Beaner walked passed the two
guards.He walked up the road to the palace where two other guards stood.The two gold
doors opened slowly...

"Eh,I have a bad feeling about this."

Mr.Beaner thought as a strange looking butler stood in the doorway...

"Follow me."

Mr.Beaner followed the butler to a very large waiting room...

"Please have a seat.His majesty will be here shortly."

Mr.Beaner sat down on the lavish love seat.In front of him were a
variety of refreshments & fruit.He was about to eat something when King Georgie
"Eh,Oh!Your majesty!" Mr.Beaner frantically said,as he stood up,and
bowed to the king...

"Please sit down & relax Mr.Beaner.Here,have some fruit."

"Eh,thank you.It looks tasty."

"We do a great deal of trading with the Bee Bees.Now let's get to
business here.The Pluton Education Bureau spoke very highly of your qualifications
as a teacher,Mr.Beaner."

"Eh,that's nice."

"But I must warn you.My daughter Princess CaCa Carlakianna is a very
difficult young lady.She might give you a hard time,including some things you
might find offensive."

"Eh,I understand,your majesty."

Princess Carla arrived at the waiting room where her father,and Mr.
Beaner were talking...

"Oh,here's my daughter now.Mr.Beaner this is Princess CaCa Carlakianna
Booshaylianna of Tunakia."

"Eh,please to meet you,your highness."

Mr.Beaner stood up,and greeted her.Princess Carla stood there frozen.
She found herself strangely attracted & aroused to the odd looking teacher.She
became quite flushed with a throbbing sensation in her genitalia,and her ears.
Her father had a stern look on his face...

"Oh,please to meet you too.Tee,hee,hee." Princess Carla replied...

"He's going to be your new tutor,since you've been permanently
removed from your old school."


"Princess Carla!Why are you acting like that?!What are you up to?!"

The king angrily demanded to know...

"Oh,nothing,Father.I'm just being pleasant that's all.Tee,hee,hee."

"That's what I'm worried about? You're never pleasant! I want you
to behave yourself around your new teacher! If I find out that you're being
naughty,I'm going to give Mr.Beaner permission to spank you with his pointer
The king warned her...

"So,fuckin' what? Me ain't gonna mind him spankin' me hinny!"

"OH!!!" Both the king,and Mr.Beaner shouted in unison...

"Eh,I'm gonna have to do some heavy duty work on her grammer!"

Mr.Beaner told the king...

"Indeed! I want reports on her progress,and if she steps out of
line,you let me know,Mr.Beaner."

"Eh,yes your majesty."


Mr.Beaner waited in one of the palace rooms that was reserved
as a makeshift classroom for Princess Carla...

"Eh,where is she?" Mr.Beaner thought nervously,but then
Princess Carla arrived...

"Eh,oh goody you're here! I thought you were going to ditch class."

"Did you say 'Bitch Ass'?" Princess Carla wondered...

"No.I said 'Ditch Class'."


"Eh,please have a seat your highness.I thought we start with a math
problem,so I could get a feel on where you're at."

"Get a feel? Does this mean you're gonna grab my hinny,Mr.Beaner?"

"Eh,no! Please be serious!Now tell me what seven times seven is?"

Princess Carla sat there with a strained look on her face,trying
to come up with a answer...

"Uh,um.Let me see?...Is it cheese?" Princess Carla answered...



"Eh,it's a math problem! How in Coo Coo blazes can the answer be
"I dunno? You're the teacher? Don't you know? Tee,hee,hee."

"Eh,oh! Oh,I don't believe this!How did she make it to high school?!"

A frustrated Mr.Beaner shouted in disbelief,as Princess Carla
continued to giggle.


Princess Carla's grades had improved thanks to Mr.Beaner
spending long & hard hours working on her.Her behavior also got better,
but this was just an act to make her parents ease up on her.For you see,
Princess Carla had a plan to try to get Chaknee,Sammymede,and Wilhelmina
into the palace somehow.She decided to give her father a proposal...

"Daddy?" Princess Carla called out to the king...

"Yes,my daughter?"

"I've been ever so lonely,really I am."

"Uh,huh." The king grunted...

"I was wondering if my friends can work here at the palace
as interns?"
"Interns? Gee,I don't know about that,CaCa Carlakianna."

"Oh,please Father? I've been such a good girl all year,and
it would mean so much to them."

"Well,what will they do here at the palace?"

"Well,Wilhelmina's dream is to be my 'Lady In Waiting'."


"My friend Chaknee is very interested in secretary work.
He would like some hands on experience on how the palace functions."


"Why,yeahs! Also my friend Sammymede is very advanced in
science & engineering.It would mean so much to him to be an apprentice
in the royal laboratories.They would all get school credit for doing
this too."
"Very well,my daughter.You have my permission to bring
your friends here."


Princess Carla gave her father a hug...

"Thank you,Daddy!"

Princess Carla skipped out of the royal courts with such
glee.When she was out of sight,a wicked evil grin came over her face...

"Just a few more years until my plan falls into place.
I'll abide my time for now,and then I will strike!They won't know what
hit them!"
Princess Carla thought to herself,as she let out a little


A few years had passed,and Princess Carla was 21 years old.
She finally finished her education (after being held back a few grades).
This bothered her,because it would mean Mr.Beaner's services will no
longer be needed,and he would return home to the planet Pluton.She had
to do something to keep him around...


Mr.Beaner jumped up nervously,as he turned to the doorway
to see Princess Carla & Lady Wilhelmina standing there...

"Eh,oh!Oh,you startled me,Your Highness."

"Oh,me so sorry,Mr.Beaner.Tee,hee,hee."

Princess Carla apologized.Mr.Beaner stared at Lady Wilhelmina.
their eyes locked in a romantic gaze,until Lady Wilhelmina noticed Princess
Carla giving her a stern look,so she looked away...

"Um,Lady Wilhelmina? Be a dear,and wait for me in the gardens?
I wish to speak to my former teacher alone."

"Yes,your Highness."

When Lady Wilhelmina left,Mr.Beaner had a lump in his throat...


"Now that we are alone,I wanted to talk to you about
furthering my sexual education?Tee,hee,hee!"

"Eh,but you completed that course a year ago.Didn't your
parents have a talk with you about those tingays?"

"Those two old prudes? They only fucked each other for
breeding purposes,if you can call it fucking.Besides,I want some hands
on experiences!"

"Eh,no your Highness!The king would cut off my...head if
I touch you in a naughty way!"

"Oh,fuck my father!"

Princess Carla shouted as she pulled off her dress,
revealing her naked body to Mr.Beaner...

"Do you like,Mr.Beaner? Huh,do you like?"

"Eh,Ooh!Oh,my goodness!You're naked!I can see your two
ta tas,and...Oh,your hairy cha cha too!Oh!"


"Don't you wear any bloomers,or underwear?"

Mr.Beaner asked,trying to distract her...

"No.It's much easier going potty this way.Enough chit-chat!
Me want you now!GROOOOWL!!!"

Princess Carla let out a growl,and leaped at Mr.Beaner.
Knocking him back on the table...

"Eh,no,Princess!Please stop it!Stop it now!Ooh!"

"Kiss me you dirty old fucker!"



"Yeow!What's that in your pants?It's Huge!"

Princess Carla shouted...

"Eh,yes,it is."

"Oh,Mr.Beaner!Take my virginity away!"

"Eh,you're a virgin?" Mr.Beaner questioned her...

"Uh,why does that surprise you?"



Princess Jezzabella & Princess Tatyanna were walking by
when they heard a loud raspy grunt that echoed down the corridor.It
made them stop dead in their tracks,and look at each other...


"What was that?" A spooked Princess Tatyanna wondered...

"It sounded like our sister taking a painfully wicked shit."

Was Princess Jezzabella's response.They walked up to the
opened door,and found their naked sister on top of Mr.Beaner.They quickly
scurried down the corridor before they were seen...

"I always knew she was depraved."

Princess Jezzabella told her sister...

"Yes,and doing it with her ugly old teacher!Ew,how gross!"

"We must tell our parents,so they will severely punish her.
Perhaps,they'll chain her up,and have her whipped."

"She might like that.I think putting her in a chastity belt
would be more fitting."

"I agree.We should suggest that to our parents,and tell them
that it's for her own good.Oh,it would drive Princess Carla mad(giggle)."

The two princesses ran off giggling.


Lady Wilhelmina was washing Princess Carla's back in the hot
pool.The princess was very quiet,and kept looking at Lady Wilhelmina in
a salacious manner...

"Your Highness,why do you look at me so?"

"I dunno Wilhelmina? Maybe I'm a 'Lezzie'."

Princess Carla didn't know how to handle her sexual meaties,
and was out of control.She forced herself on to Lady Wilhelmina,and started
kissing her wildly...

"Your Highness,please stop it!What are you doing?!I don't
like this!"
"Mmm!Me want to do naughty things to your Coo Coos,and Meaties!
Lady Wilhelmina was in shock,and was too scared to refuse
Princess Carla's sexual advances.She layed there still,and allowed the
princess to have her way with her,hoping that it would be over soon.Mr.
Beaner was walking by the royal baths when he heard moaning,and splashing
water.He thought someone was drowning...

"Eh,that sounds like somebody's in trouble!"

Mr.Beaner said out loud as he ran to the hot baths to help.
When he got there,he found Princess Carla naked,and laying on top of Lady
Wilhelmina.Mr.Beaner covered his mouth in disgust,and ran down the corridor.
Lady Wilhelmina decided to say something to make the princess stop...

"Um,your Highness? What do you think of Mr.Beaner?"

Princess Carla stopped,and looked at her...

"Well,what about him?" Princess Carla asked...

"I think he's kind of cute.I've been thinking of making
a bold move,and asking him out."

A very angry look came over Princess Carla's face.She
grabbed Lady Wilhelmina by the arm...

"Ouch!You're hurting me!" Lady Wilhelmina screamed...

"You listen to me!You're my Bitch now,so you better stay
away from him!Got it?!Besides,Mr.Beaner is mine!"

Princess Carla warned her...


"Oh,yeahs,Wilhelmina!Oh,yeahs!When I sent you to the gardens
yesterday,I forced myself on top of Mr.Beaner,and wiggled the Coo Coos
out of him!Oh,it was all yummy,goody bliss!"

"Ohh!How could you be with him,and be with me,too?"

"Cuz,I'm the princess,Bitch!I can do what I want,and fuck
who I want!"
"Well,I don't think your parents would approve of you being

Rage was building up inside Princess Carla as she grabbed
Lady Wilhelmina by the hair,and slapped the shit out of her...

"Get off me,you evil Bitch!"

Lady Wilhelmina screamed,and punched Princess Carla in the
face.She pushed the princess off her,and ran out of the baths...

"Run,you Hussy,run!I'll have you executed when you are
Princess Carla threatened,shaking her fist.Lady Wilhelmina
ran down the corridor,and into the arms of Mr.Beaner...

"Eh,Lady Wilhelmina!You're wet!"

"Oh,Mr.Beaner,she's just awful!Boo,hoo,hoo!"

Lady Wilhelmina cried.Mr.Beaner took off his cape,and
covered her.He then took her someplace secluded to talk...

"Eh,what happened Lady Wilhelmina?"

Mr.Beaner asked,pretending he didn't see her earlier...

"Princess Carla got mean & nasty with me,because I said
I liked you."
"Eh,you like me?"

"Yes,I do."

"Eh,well I like you too."

"You do?"




They kissed passionately.They no longer cared what they
did with Princess Carla.She was nothing more but a pile of puke to them
"Guards,seize them!"

King Georgie ordered.The guards grabbed Mr.Beaner & Lady
Wilhelmina,and handcuffed them...

"Mr.Beaner,you are charged with violating my daughter
Princess CaCa Carlakianna!I'll see to it that you are put to death!"

Proclaimed the king...

"Princess Carla is a violation!She's a filthy,naughty,
evil girl!" Mr.Beaner shouted at the king...

"Guards take them away,and find that daughter of mine,
so she can be punished as well!"

The guards entered the royal baths to find Princess Carla
standing there naked...

"Your Majesty,we found her!"

One of the guards shouted.King Georgie Tuna entered the
baths,and confronted his daughter...

"You dare to have intercourse before you are married?!"

Princess Carla broke off a granite phallus from one of
the male statues that adorn the baths.She held it in front of her crotch
with both hands...


Princess Carla shouted at her father just before ramming
the phallus up into her vagina.King Georgie's jaw dropped,and his eyes
bulged out of his head in shock from what Princess Carla had done...

"You disgraceful,horrid wench!Guards,take her to her bed
chamber,and have her chastened at once!"

King Georgie demanded.He watched the phallus slip out of
the princess,and hit the tiled floor in slow motion.The guards grabbed
Princess Carla,and dragged her off kicking & hitting.The king followed
them.When they reached the bed chamber the king made a proclamation...

"CaCa Carlakianna,because of your naughty nature,and
disgracing my Tunakian Kingdom,I hearby demote you to LADY CACA
"Don't I get a fair hearing?" Lady Carla requested...

"Fuck no!Guards chasten her at once!"

The guards pull out a big,bulky metal device with beeping,
blinking lights on it.They grabbed Lady Carla's legs,and pulled them
through the leg openings of the electronic chastity belt,and locked her
"What the fuck is this thing?!"

"Your new chastity belt.Designed by Bee Bee Tech Industries."

"Fuckin'Bee Bees! Curse them all! What if I have to take a
dooky? Then what,huh?"

"The chastity belt is designed to take care of your 'wee wees',
and your 'boom booms',as well as your female hygiene needs."

"Well that's just fine,funky,and dandy!"

King Georgie Tuna & the guards left her bedroom,and locked
the door.Lady Carla pulled out a laptop communication device from under
her bed,and opened it.The screen was split four ways with Captain Nornoola,
Chaknee,Sammymede,and the Booty Hunter Hubba Dula in each box...

"I'm guessing you all heard everything?"

Lady Carla asked...

"Yes,your Highness.We're so sorry."

"That's okay,Chaknee.I'll get my revenge soon enough.It's
time to put my plan into effect. You all have your assignments."

"As you wish,Lady Carla."

"Don't call me that! That's the name my bastard father
cursed me with! You shall call me...LADY TUNA! TEE,HEE,HEE,HEE!"


© Copyright 2020 Joseph Small. All rights reserved.

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