Defenders Of The Great Cosmic Egg

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Betty Boo Boo must confront an evil conglomerate that has
seized the Great Cosmic Egg.

Submitted: October 21, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 21, 2013








Lydia Extravaganza sat in her prison cell looking
over her scrapbook.She was on death row for the murders of four inter-
galactic ambassadors,and the attempted murder on Wilber E. Beaner.
Lydia jumped up from her chair when the prison security alarms went off
and the lights in her cell turned bright red.Listening to the yelling,
and the laser battle down the corridor,she hid under her desk...


She winced as she could see the orange glow of
something cutting through her cell door...

"BAM!" was the sound of the door made as it hit the
floor.Two Clausin droids entered Lydia's cell...

"Come with us now."

One of the droids said to her.Hesitant at first,
Lydia got up,and went with them...

"Stop right there,Lydia!"

One of the prison guards shouted.The droids picked
up Lydia,and they flew up to the ceiling,smashing through one of the grids.
The prison guards fired their lasers at them,but it was too late.
Lydia's ship went into hyper coo coo space,before the prison's weapon
system could target them.Lydia had escaped from Dookyroid-5.


2T2 was going through some files on the ship's
computer when he heard Mr.Beaner in the next room...

"Eh,oh no!"

"What is it,Mr.Beaner? Did Herbert take a dump in
the corner again?"
"Eh,no! It's much worse!"

Mr.Beaner sat down next to 2T2...

"Eh,Coo Coo Command has recruited me to do duty on
the Turdgazer! What am I gonna do?"

Mr.Beaner worried.2T2 looked up the Turdgazer on the
"Hmmm.Let's see.The Turdgazer is a battle class Boo
Boo,so you'll be safe.Betty Boo Boo is in charge as captain,so you won't
have that responsibility.You're basically on board as a consultant.Oh,
and here's the best part."

"Eh,the best part?"

"Yeah,it seems FiFi Bee Bee is on board as the master
"Eh,what? Why is FiFi there? I thought she was doing
a tv show on Dookyroid-Z?"
Mr.Beaner wondered...

"I don't know.There is no additional information
about her."
"Eh,are you coming with me?" Mr.Beaner asked...

"Well,I'm not listed to go.I'm going to have to stay
here.It looks like you are on your own this time."

"Eh,oh crappytoo!"


When Lydia arrived at the floating dome shaped star
base,she was escorted to a darkened room filled with multiple silhouettes
of people looking down on her...

"Welcome Lydia Extravaganza to the Legion Of The
Naughty Coo Coos!"
A woman's voice echoed...

"Legion of Naughty Coo Coos? What is all of this?
Why was I brought to this place?"

Lydia wanted to know...

"You were brought here,because we have something in
common.Our hatred for that galactic whore LADY TUNA,and the desire to
take revenge on her."

"You mean you're going to kill Lady Tuna? Oh,goody!"

Lydia thought with glee...

"No! That would be too easy,and unfulfilling.We need
to do something that would torture her,to teach her a painful lesson by
filling her wicked Coo Coos with jealousy & anger knowing that we had
beaten her at her own game."

"What do you plan to do?" Lydia questioned them.Just
then the lights came on.Lydia could see she was surrounded by those who
were wronged by Lady Tuna.The group was headed by Conneeka Tunica who
brought together Lydia's brother Carlo,Vern Steeno,Doodles Dowdy,Ophelia
Mia Anus,Rustakoola,DeeDee CaCa,and Captain Nornoola who was now disabled
and disfigured from being attacked by Turdbots a few years ago (He looked
like a half dead transvestite jammed into a jack in a box)...

"There are two things that Lady Tuna desires in life,
One is to be queen of the galaxy,and two to have Mr.Beaner's penis all to
herself.We must do what she has failed to do,by taking control of Funkoo,
and capture Mr.Beaner."

"Well,it sounds quite lovely so far.Can this star base
take on the whole Coo Coo fleet?"

Lydia wondered.Connie walked over to a large video
monitor,and activated it...

"We believe it can.This star base has the unique ability
to create all kinds of force fields to protect us,as well as be used for
other applications.Through various experiments we were able to control
different levels of Eroshina waves.The same Eroshina that gives energy
& life to all Coo Coo,Cumbus,and Clausins in the galaxy of Funkoo,except
for those with self sustaining Boo Boos like that bitch Betty Boo Boo."

Lydia watches the screen,as Connie shows her a video
presentation of their plans...

"As you can see,Lydia.We plan to take this star base
to the Great Cosmic Egg,the source of all Eroshina.By creating a orbital
force field around the egg,it will be ours to control.No one will fuck
with us.Not Coo Coo Command,not the gods,no one.We will be the envy of
that rotten bitch whore Lady Tuna once,and for all! Ha,ha,ha!"

Connie laughed.


Mr.Beaner grabbed his bags,and headed for the exit...

"Eh,the transport is waiting,2T2.Are you gonna be okay?"

"Oh,yeah.I plan to connect myself to the ship's computer
while you're away.By doing this I can use the Pelican as a extention of
"Eh,that's nice.Well,I'm off.See you when I get back."

"Okay,keep in touch."

Mr.Beaner entered the shuttle to take him up to the
Turdgazer which was orbiting Pluton.


The Legion Of Naughty Coo Coos have arrived at the
Great Cosmic Egg...

"The shields are keeping the Eroshina levels stable,
Rustakoola told her...

"Excellent!Engage the force field around the Great
Cosmic Egg,and make sure the Eroshina levels remain normal.I don't want
the planets to be suspicious just yet.We must prepare our manifesto."

Rustakoola activated the force field that surrounded
the egg like a giant bubble.


As Mr.Beaner arrived inside the landing bay,Captain
Betty Boo Boo was there to greet him...

"Eh,permission to come aboard,Captain Boo Boo?"

"Permission granted,Mr.Beaner."

Betty said with a big smile.They both walked down the
corridor together...

"I'm glad you came,Mr.Beaner.We have alot of Coo Coo
matters to talk about."


"For now I have to report to the bridge,as we are
about to depart Pluton.Did you recieve your instructions & schedule?"

"Eh,why yes Captain Boo Boo.2T2 gave me a copy."

"Oh,goody.I'll see you later."


The Turdgazer moved out of the orbit of Pluton,and
headed outside the Boo Boo Cluster.


The Legion Of The Naughty Coo Coos gathered in the
main bridge of their star base to show the galaxy of Funkoo of what they
are capable of...

"Connie,the Eroshina fluctuation shockwave device is
"Commence with the shockwave!"

Connie ordered.The rings of the shockwave spreaded
out of the force field that encased the Great Cosmic Egg,and was on a
collision course with the planets & starships of Funkoo...

"Soon every Coo Coo,Cumbus,and Clausin will go bonkers
when the wave hits them! Ha,ha,ha!"


Mr.Beaner was on his way to the cafeteria to get
something to eat when he ran into FiFi Bee Bee...

"Eh,oh! I'm so sorry,FiFi."

"Oh,that's alright,Mr.Beaner."

"Eh,so how are you?"

"Oh,I'm okay,and you?"

"Eh,oh just fine,funky,and dandy."

"Oh,that's nice."

"Eh,yes.My meaties are feeling a bit peckish.What
kinds of foodies are you serving today?"

"Oh,we have all kinds of yummy tingays here to eat.
Just grab a tray,and pick out anything you like."

"Eh,thank you,FiFi."

Mr.Beaner & FiFi were unaware that Captain Boo Boo
was standing behind them waiting to get in the cafeteria...

"Oh,Captain Boo Boo! I'm ever so sorry!"

FiFi apologized...

"Relax,FiFi.Mr.Beaner would you join me for lunch?
I wish to go over the mission with you."

"Eh,yes of course,I.........OOOOOOOOOH!!!!!"

The Turdgazer's emergency system kicked in.Red lights
were blinking on & off as Mr.Beaner,FiFi,and Captain Boo Boo rushed down
the tubular corridor...


The electronic voice warned.Something had hit the
Turdgazer.Betty watched the corridor fill up with a wavy,bright yellow
energy as Mr.Beaner & FiFi fell to the floor in a googoo,gaga state of
mind.Rolling around giggling wildly while making wacky faces.Betty was
not affected,because she was a Boo Boo,and produced her own Eroshina...

"What's going on? I have to get to the bridge,and
take control of the ship!"

She thought to herself as she ran down the corridor.
Unable to use the lifts,Betty ran to one of the air shafts.When she
inflated her Boo Boos,she floated up the shaft to the bridge.


"Connie,I'm picking up all kinds of transmissions.
Funkoo is in full funky coo coo chaos."

Dee Dee CaCa informed everyone...

"Oh,goody! Open all channels.It's time to send our
message throughout the galaxy."


Captain Boo Boo entered the bridge through the hatch
to find the crew getting over the rush of Eroshina that penetrated their
Meaties.The crew got up from the floor,trying to compose themselves...

"Is everyone okay?" Captain Boo Boo asked...


"Do you know what caused the sudden rush of Eroshina?"

"According to our sensors it was a very massive
Eroshina wave.Origin,the Great Cosmic Egg."

"Captain Boo Boo,we are actually getting a transmission
from the Great Cosmic Egg."

"Put it on screen."

The Legion Of The Naughty Coo Coos appear on screen
wearing black cloaks,and trying to look all evil...

"People of Funkoo,we are the Legion Of The Naughty
Coo Coos.It was us who created the Eroshina wave.We have seized the
Great Cosmic Egg,and we are in control of all the Eroshina that flows
from it.Our demands are quite simple.You will surrender all leaderships
of the planets over to us,and you will hand over one Wilber E. Beaner
to us as well.Failure to do so will result in the shut off of all
Eroshina throughout Funkoo.You have one day to comply.End transmission."

The video screen goes blank,as Captain Boo Boo looks
on with a puzzling look on her face...

"Hmmm.How strange? It's no surprise that they want
to rule the galaxy,but I don't understand why they want Mr.Beaner?
It's like they're pretending to be Lady Tuna?"

"The woman that spoke on screen was Tunakian,captain."

"Yes,she was.Contact Queen Chaknee of Tunakia."


Queen Chaknee tried to pull himself together when
he recieved Captain Boo Boo's transmission...

"Yes,Betty? How can I help you?"

"Did the wave hit Tunakia,Queen Chaknee?"

"Yes it did.Everyone here is okay."

"Oh,goody. Your highness,we need your help. In the
message we recieved from the naughty Legion,there was a Tunakian woman
demanding that we turn over Mr.Beaner to them.Do you know who the woman
is,and why she wants Mr.Beaner?"

"The woman is a troubled Tunakian named Conneeka
Tunica.A few years ago she tried to take over the thrown here on Tunakia,
but Lady Tuna stopped her,and made me the first male queen.Now seeing
her,Lydia Extravaganza,and Captain Nornoola.It's likely they want to
take some form of revenge on Lady Tuna,by doing what she failed to do.
Perhaps even mocking her."

"What did Lady Tuna think about all of this?"

Betty wondered...

"Oh,she went totally coo coo bananas with anger,and
started trashing the palace.Her meaties had to be sedated. I don't want
her involved in this matter at all.I put far too much work into her by
making her a Goody Goo Goo,than have her go back to being a naughty
Noo Noo."

"I agree,Queen Chaknee."

"Betty,if you need any assistance,the Tunakian Empire
will back you up.Battle Boo Boos,fighters,weapons,anything you need.
Those awful bitches must be stopped!"

"Thank you,Queen Chaknee.Transmission out."

"Captain Boo Boo,we're recieving a message from
Captain Flablicker of Coo Coo Command."

"Oh,put it on the screen."

Captain Florence Jean Flablicker appears on screen...

"Attention all you Honies out there! This is Captain
Flablicker.As you all know we have a new threat to our funky little lives,
called the Legion Of Naughty Coo Coos.I for one will not surrender to
these Assholes!We must band together,and stop them!We must take every
starship from our planets,and blast those fuckers away,Honey!"

Mr.Beaner entered the bridge...

"Eh,Captain Boo Boo? I heard they want my hinny?"

"Don't worry,Mr.Beaner.We are not handing your hinny
over to them." Captain Boo Boo assured him...

"Eh,oh goody!"

"At least not without a fight,because we are going
to attack!"


"Connie,there's a huge armada of starships coming
our way." Dee Dee CaCa informed her...

"What kind of ships?"

"All kinds.There's Boo Boos,Hypers,Bee Bee Fighters,
and other types of starships from all the planets."

"Any Tunakians?" Lydia wondered...

"Yes,there are a few.It's unclear if Lady Tuna is on
any of them."
"Foolish Foo Foos! They should know that they can't
get too close to the Great Cosmic Egg,because of the high levels of
Eroshina!" Connie shouted...

"They won't be able to use their lasers,however their
rockets & torpedoes might reach us,plus Boo Boos like Betty,Quadoofa,and
Kabooma may pose as a threat to us."

Captain Nornoola warned them...

"I strongly doubt it! I think you are underestimating
the shield power of this star base,Captain Nornoola."

"We are being hailed,Connie?"

"Put it on screen,I could use a good laugh."

Captain Flablicker appears on the screen...

"This is Captain Flablicker,Honey! We demand that you
power down that force field,and surrender,before we blast away your sorry
"HA! I think not! You floating turds out there are no
match for this star base.If you were a smart bitch which I doubt.You will
transport that old fart Mr.Beaner over to us,and bow to us as your new
"No,I won't,Honey! Commander,inform the fleet to open
Captain Flablicker ordered.All the ships in the fleet
began firing weapons at the star base,and the force field around the Great
Cosmic Egg...

"Connie,they're firing weapons!"

DeeDee CaCa reported.The weapons had no affect when
they impacted on the force field...

"As you can see,Captain Flablicker.Your weapons are
useless against us.Now feel the full force of our shields! Rustakoola,
commence Operation Funky Expansion?!"

"With pleasure,Connie!"

On the video screen of the Turdgazer.Captain Boo Boo
could see the force field inflate to super size proportions,and was on
a collision with the fleet...

"Captain Flablicker,the force field?!"

Captain Boo Boo tried to warn her...

"Everybody brace yourselves for impact,Honey!Ooooh!"

The force field smashed into the fleet of ships,and
pushed them back.The Legion Of Naughty Coo Coos were quite pleased...

"Look at them backing off!" Lydia smiled.


"Captain Boo Boo,we're getting a transmission from
Tunakia? It's Queen Chaknee."

"Patch it through."

Queen Chaknee appears on screen...

"I'm guessing you failed to stop Connie?"

"Yes,your highness."

"On board the main Tunakian battle Boo Boo I placed
a little surprise on it that may put an end to all of this.You,and Mr.
Beaner must leave now.Get there before it's too late."

"Okay!Mr.Beaner let's hurry!"

Captain Boo Boo,and Mr.Beaner ran into FiFi Bee Bee
on thier way out...

"Mr.Beaner where are you going?" FiFi wanted to know...

"Eh,FiFi we don't have the time to explain!We must
go!" Mr.Beaner shouted...

"Can I come too?" FiFi asked...

"Eh,yes but hurry!"



When Captain Boo Boo,Mr.Beaner,and FiFi arrived on
board the Tunakian ship,they were escorted to a very large room.In the
center of the room was a strange machine made out of three chambers with
tubes,and metal pipes sticking out of it.A large video monitor hung on
the wall.Queen Chaknee appeared on it...

"Oh,goody! You made it."

"Queen Chaknee,what is all of this?"

Captain Boo Boo wondered...

"Let my head scientist Sammymede explain."

Everyone was startled when Sammymede appeared out of
nowhere into the room which was followed by prerecorded applause that
made everyone look around,wondering where it was coming from...

"A few years ago Lady Tuna wanted me to make a clone
of FiFi Bee Bee to try to lure Mr.Beaner,but it turned into a very bad
boo boo."
"Ooh! You did what?!" A shocked FiFi huffed...

"Eh,FiFi please be quiet! I want to hear more about
this FiFi clone!"
Mr.Beaner shouted.Sammymede continued...

"Since then I have perfected,and altered the process.
What I propose to do is make a clone of Mr.Beaner with a explosive turd
inside him.Since we can't penetrate the force field,we have to take them
out from within."
"It does make sense." Captain Boo Boo commented...

"As you know it's impossible for any Coo Coo,Cumbus,
or Clausin to go near the Great Cosmic Egg without being exposed to high
levels of Eroshina.This is something that our enemies have overlooked,
because they are protected by their shields."


"Boo Boo based beings like yourself can withstand the
Eroshina.What I would like to do is produce a hybrid clone by electro-
splicing genetic micro meaties taken from both you,and Mr.Beaner?"

"Gee,I don't know? What are your thoughts,Mr.Beaner?"

"Eh,I rather be cloned,than be sent to those naughty
doo doo heads on that star base."

"Very well.Sammymede make us into a clone."

Captain Boo Boo agreed...

"Oh,with great pleasure Captain Boo Boo!Hee!Hee!Hee!"

Sammymede rubbed his hands with delight,as Captain
Boo Boo looked at him with a nervous smile...



Captain Boo Boo & Mr.Beaner layed down inside the
red,and yellow chambers,as FiFi stood next to Sammymede behind the
control panel.Sammymede pulled down the red lever,and Mr.Beaner's
chamber started to glow a bright red.He then pulled down the yellow
lever,and Captain Boo Boo's chamber glowed a bright yellow...

"Oooh!!!" FiFi looked on in fright.When he pulled
down the final blue lever,everything went bonkers.The video monitor,and
the lights in the lab shorted out.FiFi was screaming through the cloning

Sammymede smiled,and started laughing at FiFi's reaction.
Sparks,and electrical lightning shot out of the machine as a super mega
Boo Boo of glowing energy formed above it.Making FiFi freak out even more...

"Oh,look at that?!"

FiFi shouted.In all the excitement,Sammymede grabbed
FiFi's fanny,making her feel even more uneasy,and upset...

"AAAAH!!!!" FiFi screamed again,and started running
through the lab.Sammymede chased after her,trying to grab her buttocks
in all the chaos...

"AAAH! Get away from me,you filthy pervert!"

FiFi shouted...

"Not until you let me squeeze your tiny hinny again!Hee!
Trapped in a corner,FiFi turned around,and slapped
Sammymede hard across the face...

"OUCH!!! Ooh! That really hurts!"

There was a loud "DING" sound like a microwave oven
on the cloning machine...

"AH! The clone is done! No more playtime,it's back
to work!HEE!HEE!HEE!"

Sammymede opened the blue chamber,and fanned away the
vapors.A hybrid clone of Mr.Beaner & Betty Boo Boo nestled inside...

"Oh,it's beautiful!"

Sammymede shouted with glee.The clone looked like
Mr.Beaner with a tri-Boo Boo matrix infused in his body.He also had long,
wavy orange hair like Betty.The clone was looking back & forth with a
vacant grin on his face.Mr.Beaner got out of his chamber to look at him...

"Eh,oh my goodness!"

Mr.Beaner said after seeing his Boo Boo modified clone...

"Remarkable!" Captain Boo Boo responded...

"AAAAH!!! It's terrible!"

FiFi screamed in horror...

"Eh,calm down,FiFi!"

"We need to shave his hair off,and we need to dress
him in your clothes to make him look more like you."

Sammymede told them.


"Connie,we're being hailed by Captain Boo Boo."

DeeDee CaCa informed her...

"Put her on screen."

Captain Boo Boo appears on screen...

"Conneeka Tunica,though this hurts us more than you
know,Mr.Beaner has agreed to surrender himself over to you for the sake
of the galaxy."
"Are you willing to accept us as your new leaders?"

"We understand that we can't defeat you,so the only
logical choice is to give up our worlds to you in order to save lives."

"Oh,it will Captain Boo Boo.Starting with yours."

"Mr.Beaner is in a pod on his way to you."

"Thank you,Captain Boo Boo. Rustakoola,activate the
tractor beam."

"And scan the pod to make sure he's on there,just in
case they're trying to trick us."

"The scans have detected about 75 percent of Mister
Beaner's meatie signature."

"75 percent?" Connie questioned...

"It's possible that the combination of the shield,
the tractor beam,and the high levels of Eroshina are affecting the
Rustakoola told them.The tractor beam pulled the pod
into the landing bay of the star base,where the Legion Of The Naughty
Coo Coos were waiting...

"Oh,Lady Tuna must be brimming with envy by now!"

Connie said as they opened the hatch of the pod,and
found the clone looking up at them with a big smile on his face...

"Well,Mr.Beaner.Do you have anything to say?"

Connie asked,but the clone just sat there smiling...

"What's wrong with him? Why is he acting like that?"

Connie was baffled...

"They must of drugged him,because they thought we
were going to torture him,or something." Carlo added...

"It's Lady Tuna I want to torture,not him!"

Connie told him.Rustakoola came in with a handheld
"Something's wrong!" He alerted them...

"Wrong?! What's wrong?!" Connie was alarmed...

"Mr.Beaner has Boo Boos!"

"Boo Boos?!"

"Yeah,and he has...A BOMB UP HIS BUTT!!!"

"SHIT!!!" Connie screamed out...

"Everybody out!" Carlo shouted.The Legion Of The
Naughty Coo Coos headed for the space bus inside the landing bay...

"Activate the shields to protect us from the blast!"

DeeDee CaCa screamed.The clone farted,and pooped out
a turd bomb.It exploded when it hit the floor,and blew out a huge hole
in the side of the star base,causing the force field to shut down...

"The force field is gone!Everybody open fire,Honey!"

Captain Flablicker ordered the fleet.All the ships
attacked the star base with better success,as they blasted pieces of
it away...

Connie screamed wildly as explosions erupted all
around them...
"Rustakoola get us out of here!"

Lydia shouted.The space bus carrying the Legion Of
The Naughty Coo Coos abandoned the star base,and escaped just before it
exploded.The force field around the Great Cosmic Egg vaporized...

"Eh,we did it! The Great Cosmic Egg is free!"

Mr.Beaner shouted in sheer delight.


Lydia staggered out of the wreckage of the space bus
after it had impacted on a hillside of meat...

"This is like what Lady Tuna did to me on Dookyroid-Z."

Lydia thought to herself.Luckily for her,and the others
that they weren't killed,because the surface of the Planet Of Meat was
very soft.When Lydia colapsed,she noticed a shadow over her.Looking up
on top of a hill of meat was Captain Boo Boo pointing a big laser gun
at her...
"Going somewhere,Lydia?"

Captain Boo Boo asked with a big red lipstick smile.


© Copyright 2019 Joseph Small. All rights reserved.

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