Destination Cookamungus X

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Lady Tuna makes a second attempt on a diplomatic mission to the planet Cookamungus X, and ends up on a freakish adventure.

Submitted: May 23, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 23, 2018








Queen Chaknee sat on his throne when Lady Tuna entered...

"You summoned me my queen?" Lady Tuna asked...
"Yes I did.I recieved a long range communication from Queen Coo Coo Puff Of Pastry and..."
"Queen what? Who the fuck is that?" Wondered Lady Tuna...
"Oh!Don't interrupt me! Queen Coo Coo Puff is the former Princess Coo Coo!She's now queen
of the planet Pluton!" Queen Chaknee harshly explained...
"May I continue?"
"Oh,why yays!"
"The queen informed me that the Coo Coo,Cumbus,Clausin Council are planning a second
diplomatic mission to the planet Cookamungus X since the first one was a failure.I want to send you again on behalf
of our world."
"Will Mrs. Tallahassee be there?"
"I did ask about her,but I was informed that Ambassador Tallahassee has a severe case of
violent farts,and won't be able to make the trip.They plan to send someone else to take her place."
"That's not the worst part."
"It ain't?"
"No.Because you had a concealed weapon up in your vagina last time.Captain Flablicker of
Coo Coo Command has put in an order for you to undergo a strip search,and a thorough cavity search before you come
aboard the Portrexa."
"Oh,that Bitch!"
"Exactly.This is why I'm having Sammymede whip up a special going away gift for you."
"A gift for me?Oh,goody!Tee,hee,hee!"

Queen Chaknee clapped his hands twice,Sammymede,and a group of stylish Tunakians in white
lab coats entered the royal court...
"I can not put your life in the hands of Coo Coo Command.It's just too risky,especially
around people that hate you,and want you dead.This is why I had Sammymede create a special laser weapon with you in
mind.Sammymede?Take her,and do your thing!"

Lady Tuna was whisked away by Sammymede,and the group.


Lady Tuna was escorted to a sleek,futuristic chair with Clausin robotic arms on it.
Two of Sammymede's assistants stripped her naked...
"Have a seat my mistress." Sammymede told her with a wicked grin.Lady Tuna sat down in
the chair...
"Shall we begin?"
"Oh,why Yays!Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna replied with a giggle.

Sammymede pushed a button on the control panel,and the chair went back like a recliner.
Two long metal plates rised up from under the chair,and spread Lady Tuna's legs apart for easy access.Various multi
task robotic arms came out of the chair giving Lady Tuna the appearance of a spider.Two of the arms positioned
themselves at her crotch.One shot a ion meatie particle laser that burned away her honey brown crinkled pubic hair,
and the other was a small vaccum that sucked away any remaining particle remnants on her vaginal region.Sammymede
picked up a strange looking gold ellyptic shaped device from a surgical tray,and placed it in one of the robotic arms.
The tracking system homed in on Lady Tuna's private parts,and the arm moved in...

"Just relax my mistress.You may feel a slight pinch." Sammymede assured her.The robotic
arm placed the device on her vagina.A red light began blinking as the device snapped into place,giving her a jolt...

"Ooooooh!" Lady Tuna moaned...
"Are you alright,my mistress?" Sammymede asked...
"Oh,why yeahs! It's just that it's been awhile since my Hoo Hoo has had any attention.
"Oh,I see."

Sammymede signaled to his attendants to come in so they can mask the device by bedazzling
Lady Tuna's pussy with glued on jewels & gems...

"Now if you will pardon me,my mistress.I'm going to the bathroom to take a dooky."

The team rolled in a surgical table with two bowls of gems of various sizes,shapes,and
colors.They squeezed a gob of glue on Lady Tuna's cha cha,and began to paste the gems on...

"Oh,my!How nice!Tee,hee,hee!"

Lady Tuna was excited.When the team completed the work.Sammymede came out of the bathroom
to check on their progress.He was quite pleased with the results...

"Ooh!How pretty your pussy looks now my mistress!Coo Coo Command would never suspect that
you were hiding a weapon down there!Now it is time for your training!"
"Training? But I know how to shoot a laser gun,Sammy."
"No! You don't use your hand to fire it.It is a unique weapon that uses your vaginal muscles
to activate it."
A look of confusion came over Lady Tuna's face...



Lady Tuna & Sammymede entered a very large room that had target panels on the walls.
Sammymede entered a protective booth full of switches,buttons,and a microphone.In the center of the room was a
special metal chair that tilted back,and had a long metal bar in front of it to hold back Lady Tuna's legs...

"Now Lady Tuna there are three settings on the vaginal laser device,beam,pulse,and mega
blast.Each action depends on what you do with your pussy.You must learn to concentrate,and control your vaginal area
for the results you want.We have two weeks to train your pussy to be one with the device."
"Oh,Goody! Tee,hee,hee!"
"Now sit down,and lay back in the chair.Lift your legs up,and rest them on the metal bar."
"Oh,Okay! Tee,hee,hee!"
"Now I want you to concentrate,and think only about your pussy,black out everything else."
"Oh,but I always do!You know that,Sammymede!You know that!"
"Shhhh!Silence!Now try dilating your funhole!Let it open up like a flower in bloom!Open it!
Open it!"
Sammymede shouted in excitement.Suddenly a laser beam shot out between Lady Tuna's legs,and
cut across the wall,slicing away a few of the target panels as they came crashing down to the floor...

"AAAAH!!!Me don't believe it!I did it! I DID IT!!!Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna shouted out in glee...

"Excellent,my mistress!Now I want you to tighten your vaginal muscles,as tight as you
possibly can,and hold it!Now try to aim your crotch at one of the targets,and release your pussy!"
Lady Tuna squinted her slanted eyes as she tightened up.When she relaxed her twat,a pulse of
laser energy shot out,and hit the target...


"And for your last test for today,is something that you use as a last resort when everything
else had failed."
"Now I want you to retighten your vaginal walls again,but really hard this time,and hold it
for a longer duration."
"Okay!Mmmmmm!!!" Lady Tuna grunted.She tightened herself up again.Her yellowed face turned
sunburn red as she winced...
"Now hold it!Hold it!...Now!...Target that brick wall,and release your pussy!"

Lady Tuna jolted back in the chair,as a gigantic laser blast bolted out of her pussy,and
smashed the brick wall to pieces.Sammymede was pleased with Lady Tuna's progress...
"Good work,my mistress!You should be well prepared when you go on your mission!"

Sammymede & Queen Chaknee (with his entourage) are walking down the corridor...

"I think you will be quite pleased with Lady Tuna's progress,my queen."
"Oh,I hope so Sammymede." Queen Chaknee told him. They all entered the area where Lady Tuna
spent her time perfecting her craft of laser pussy battle tactics...

"Good afternoon,my queen!" Lady Tuna bowed with a smirk on her face...
"Ooh! You better not disappoint me with your demonstration today,Lady Tuna!"
"Oh,Me won't!Tee,hee,hee!"

Lady Tuna hopped into the targeting chair,and positioned herself.Sammymede escorted the queen
to the protective booth...
"Come with me your majesty for your safety."

Queen Chaknee,and his entourage followed Sammymede into the protective control booth...
"Now my mistress are you ready?" Sammymede asked Lady Tuna over the intercom...
"Tee,hee,hee! Why yeahs!"

Suddenly,metal spheres were flying out of the port holes in the walls.They encroached on
Lady Tuna,and attacked her with their lasers...
"Damn it!...Shit!" Lady Tuna returned fire by unleashing her vaginal arsenal on the flying
Clausin drones attacking her...
"That's it,Lady Tuna! Use your fighting pussy power!"
Queen Chaknee shouted in excitement.Each drone was different.Some shot lasers,had blow torches,
or shot out razor sharp ninja stars.Others had rotating drill bits,or sharp pointed spikes on them like a mace.Lady Tuna
swiveled & gyrated in all directions,blasting away the metal orbs left,and right until there were none left.Lady Tuna
layed back in the chair exhausted,and sweating from the exercise...

"Phew!Me so tired,and my twat is so steaming hot,I could cook a egg on it!Tee,hee,hee!"
She told the others as she was fanning away the burning electrical smell from her crotch with her hand...
"Oh,it's not over yet,my mistress! I have a big surprise for you!"
"Big surprise? What the fuck are you talking about Sammymede?"
A door busted open as a large dome shaped Clausin robot rolled out to attack her with
two spinning saws it was holding up in it's claws...
"I MUST KILL LADY TUNA,AND CHOP OFF HER TITTIES!" The Clausin robot threatened her in
a robotic voice...
"NAAAW! What the fuck?!" A freaked out Lady Tuna shouted. Queen Chaknee turned to
Sammymede,and gave him a discerning look...
"I thought she would like a Clausin that was as twisted as she is."
Lady Tuna forced her vaginal walls tightly closed,and held them in that position as the
killer robot drew near.When the right moment came,she unleashed a monster of a laser energy ball,and blasted away the
killer robot...
Queen Chaknee fell back in his chair from the flashes of the explosion.In the reflection
of the glass panel the robot exploded in a giant ball of fire.A naked Lady Tuna emerged from the flames,and took a bow.
Everyone applauded her...
"Wonderful,wonderful!Bravo Lady Tuna!" Queen Chaknee cheered with glee...
"Oh,thank you,my queen!Tee,hee,hee!"


Captain Florence Jean Flablicker is standing on a platform making a complaint about the
Boo Boo she was assigned to...
"I'm standing right in front of the damn thing,Honey!" Captain Flablicker
shouted in front of the MIERDA YUBABA,a luxury neon saturated pleasure class Boo Boo filled with hot tubs,strip bars,
dance club,restaurant,and several sex lounges with big fluffy pillows...

"You mean you couldn't give me command of a better Boo Boo other than the
'Whore Of The Galaxy'?!"
"We're sorry captain,but all the other Boo Boos are in use.Only the Mierda
Yubaba was available.You are now active captain of her for this mission." Coo Coo Command told her...

Captain Flablicker along with her crew stood outside the Mierda Yubaba,and
greeted the diplomats as they arrived to go onboard...

"Don't look now Captain Flablicker,but here comes Lady Tuna." One of her
commanders informed her...
"Hold it right there,Honey!" Captain Flablicker shouted as she stopped
Lady Tuna in her tracks..."Uh,Oh! What did me do now? Tee,hee,hee!"
"You need to be checked out before you board that Boo Boo!"
"Oh,but I'm a diplomat now.Don't I have diplomatic immunity?Tee,hee,hee!"
"In your case that shit don't go with me,especially after you smuggled that
laser gun up your snatch last time,Honey!"
"Oh,Big Beatrice!" Captain Flablicker shouted.A very large female guard with
a short butchy white brushcut showed up...
"Yes,Captain Flablicker?"
"Beatrice,I want you to take Ambassador Tuna into the next room,and give her
a very thorough cavity search,and be gentle,Honey.She's one of our VIPs."
"Will do,captain.Come this way Ambassador Tuna."
Big Beatrice grabbed Lady Tuna firmly by the arm,and escorted her away...
"Ooh!You're a rough & tough chick!Oh,me like!Tee,hee,hee!"
Lady Tuna was very aroused.They entered a small room that had a examination
table,a stool,and a counter inside...
"Okay hop up on the table,and spread your legs apart." Big Beatrice ordered
her,as she slipped on a pair of latex gloves...

"Oh,with pleasure.Tee,hee,hee!"
When Big Beatrice lifted up Lady Tuna's skirt,and saw her bedazzled biscuit
between her legs,she looked up at her with a big smirk on her face...

"Oh,Captain Flablicker? Could you come in here for a minute?" Big Beatrice
summoned her into the room..."Yes? What is it Honey? I...Ooooh!!!" Captain Flablicker's jaw dropped in
shock at the sight of Lady Tuna's jewel covered cunt...

"Oh,my!You really are one sick bitch,Honey!"
"Jealous Captain? Tee,hee,hee!"
"No!Not at all,Honey! I've seen you do some fucked up shit before,but this
has to be the candy sprinkles on the cake!"
"Oh!Why thank you! Tee,hee,hee!"
"Continue with the cavity search,Big Beatrice."
Big Beatrice & Lady Tuna came out of the room,and walked over to Captain
Flablicker with her findings...
"How did it go,Honey?" Captain Flablicker asked...
"Oh,I have to say that I was quite bored,and disappointed by the whole
experience.She could of at least gave me a good fisting,or something?" Lady Tuna replied...
"I wasn't talking to you,Honey!" Captain Flablicker snapped at her...
"Well,captain she's clean,except for this rotting cucumber I pulled out
of her butthole." Big Beatrice informed her as she held up a large clear plastic baggy with the contents of the
rotting cucumber inside...
"Gee,I was wondering what happened to that? Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna told
them.Captain Flablicker backed off gagging,and puked on the floor...
"Get rid of that thing,Honey!Dispose of it at once!" Captain Flablicker
ordered as she tried to compose herself...
"Now what?" Lady Tuna wanted to know,unphased by what just happened...
"Oh,just get on the damn ship,Bitch!"
"And go straight to the service desk for your pass key,and gift basket!"
"And stay the fuck out of trouble!" Captain Flablicker shouted at her in
"Whatever you say...HONEY!Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna replied in a mocking
"Oooh!I want to beat her ass so bad!" Captain Flablicker thought to herself.
One of her officers approached her...
"Everyone is on board,Captain.We are ready for departure."
"Mister Beaner too?"
"Yes,Mister Beaner too."
"Okay Honey.Let's shove off." Captain Flablicker turned around,and entered
the Boo Boo.We see several exterior shots of the Mierda Yubaba as the lights come on.Then we see a shot of the back of
the Boo Boo as the engines start.Glowing a bright red...

"Captain on the bridge!" One of the officers shouted as Captain Flablicker
entered the bridge,and sat down in her chair... "At ease,Honeys." Captain Flablicker pushed a button on her console...

"Permission to leave Portrexa space dock,Honey?"
"Permission granted,Captain Flablicker.Have a safe trip."
"Oh,I'll try Honey."
The Mierda Yubaba departed from the Portrexa,and headed out into Coo Coo
Space to the planet Cookamungus-X. Looking out of one of the windows of the Bootronica.Betty Boo Boo watches her pass
by,and waves...

"Set a course to Cookamungus-X,ensign." Captain Flablicker instructed...
"Yes,captain.Ah,I'm getting a call from the main lobby.It's from FiFi
Bee Bee.She sounds upset."
"Great biscuits & gravy!What is she bitching about now,Honey?!"
"I don't know,Captain Flablicker."
"Patch her call to the main screen!"

FiFi Bee Bee appears on screen in a frantic state,while in the background
we see several diplomats pointing,and screaming at the large television screens showing naked puppet-like Bee Bees
having sex...
"Ooooh!Captain Flablicker it's the televisions!There's pornographic videos
of Bee Bees doing naughty stuff with their thingies! I'm so appalled right now!"
"Don't get your panties in a knot,Honey! I'll fix the problem!"
"Oh,hurry before Lady Tuna gets any ideas!"
"Someone shut down those televisions!We can't have that smut showing throughout
the ship,Honey!"
Suddenly all the television screens in the public areas of the Boo Boo went
"We shut down all the televisions on the ship,captain,until we can remove those
old porn files from the system."

FiFi Bee Bee was still upset when Lady Tuna walked by...
"Gee FiFi lighten up.Tee,hee,hee!"
"No!This whole ship is disgusting!It's full of dirty filthy naughtiness!I
"Not me!I like it!It makes me feel right at home!Tee,hee,hee!"
"You would like it here!Pervert!" FiFi sneered at her.Lady Tuna ignored FiFi's
remark when she noticed a small circular stage with a stripper pole on it.She jumped on stage,and began to swing back &
forth on the pole...
"Oh,FiFi!Looky,looky,looky!A stripper pole!Does it bring back any fond memories
for you,FiFi? Huh? Do you like,FiFi? Do you like? Tee,hee,hee!"
"No,I don't like! I hope you get a STD from that pole!"
"Ooh,ouch! Say? Do you think you can teach me a little routine that I can
perform for Mister Beaner? Tee,hee,hee!"
"Me teach you? HA! I'm surprise you have the motor skills to hump a bar stool!
Lady Tuna I wouldn't stoop so low as to show you a lap dance for all the golden meaties of Tunakia! SLUT!"
"Why I oughta..."
"Do what?! You have no power here! Now begone before some drunken 300 pound
transvestite on the walkways above falls over the railing,and comes crashing down on you! Mashing you into the floor
like a dead bug!"
Lady Tuna looks up in a paranoid panic...
"Very well.It's true I can't deal with you now the way I like to,but try,and
get in my way! Just try! I'll get you Miss FiFi,and your Ooo Ooos too! Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna warned her as she skipped
away like a little girl into a cloud of purple fog...

"Oooh! She burns my cookies!" FiFi shouted in anger.

Mr. Beaner & 2T2 are in their quarters getting ready to go to the conference room
for orientation on the Cookamungians...
"It's really not like you to volunteer to bring down the diplomats to the
planet Cookamungus X? What gives?" 2T2 questioned Mr.Beaner...

"Eh,when I heard that both FiFi,and Lady Tuna were going to be on the same
"Say no more.I got it."
"Eh,we better get to the conference room before Herbert eats everything on
the buffet table."

When Mr.Beaner arrived at the conference room,he looked around the oval shaped
room at all the diplomats.Then he heard a gruffed voice he did not want to hear...

"Yoo Hoo,Mister Beaner? Over here?Tee,hee,hee!"
Mr.Beaner turned to find Lady Tuna sitting there,flashing her titties at him...
"Ooh!Someone make her stop!" A disgusted FiFi Bee Bee shouted...
"Ambassador Tuna,pull down your top at once Honey!I've seen enough of you
today!" Captain Flablicker told her...
"Whatever you say,Captain Flablicker." Lady Tuna winked at her.Mr.Beaner stood
behind Captain Flablicker,and next to FiFi Bee Bee...

"Eh,hello FiFi."
"Oh,hi Mister Beaner."
"Now let's settle down! Herbert go sit your ass down,Honey!" Captain Flablicker
"Oh,alright!" Herbert shouted back at her,as he took a seat next to Lady Tuna,
who jumped back at the sight of him...
"Oh,Hi! Remember me?" Herbert asked her...
"Gee,how can I forget? You're that weird fucker that likes pudding.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Quiet over there!Don't make me go over there,and bitch slap somebody,Honey!"
Captain Flablicker warned them.A giant futuristic television screen lowers down,and Queen Coo Coo Puff Of Pastry appears
on it smiling.She is transmitting from her palace on the planet Pluton...

"Welcome everyone.This is Queen Coo Coo Puff Of Pastry.I would like to thank
all of you for taking part in what could be a historical event in making peace with the Cookamungians.As you all know this
is our second attempt at a diplomatic mission to Cookamungus X after we had to cancel the first one due to a series of
ghastly murders.I would like to go around the table,and introduce everyone who is participating in this mission.First we
have Ambassador Bacon Blowchunks of the planet Eggaloona."

Everyone looked over to Ambassador Blowchunks who was a pig-like person...

"Next to him is Ambassador Frostavia Fudgedipper of the ice planet Isakoola."
Everyone turned to look at her.She was a voluptuous woman with big protruding breasts & lips...
"How do you do?" She said in a fake husky Russian-like accent...
"Ambassador Chochum Plumpburger from our own planet of Pluton." Ambassador
Plumpburger was a very fat man who was too busy eating than to pay attention to what was going on...
"Ambassador Wa Wa Bubblebump of Aqualooka." Everyone turned to see a large
fish bowl with a filtration system connected to it.Inside was a big fancy goldfish swimming around...
"Next we have Ingrid Penelope Muckles,a representative for all the colonies
of the Dookyroid Field." Ingrid wore a silver jumpsuit.She had frizzy red hair,and wore a pair of mirrored goggles...
"Next to her is Ambassador Boinka Boinka Bee Bee of the Tunakian moon Beebaria."
Everyone looked down at the nervous Bee Bee with bugged out eyes,and the bad case of the shakes...
"STOP LOOKING AT ME!" He shouted in a squeaky voice...
"On the other side of the table we have Ambassador Caca Carlakianna Booshayla
Tuna of the planet Tunakia." Lady Tuna was met with "HISSES" & "BOOS" from everyone.She stood up,and sneered...
"Oh,yeah?! You all can eat my cheese,Bitches!" Lady Tuna shouted at them,and
shook her fist...
"Now Ambassador Tuna,please sit down,and calm yourself." Queen Coo Coo Puff
told her.She took a deep breath,and sat back down...

"And finally we have a very special ambassador with us.As part of our outreach
program to those who are mentally challenged,we have Herbert Hinzburgh as our 'Ambassador Of Pudding'."
"Oh,me brought my own spoon!" Herbert shouted with glee,as he pulled out a
big silver spoon to show everyone (Lady Tuna had a big grin on her face,and nodded in the background)...
"Ooh,that's very nice Ambassador Hinzburgh." Queen Coo Coo Puff told him with
a smile.She continued to speak..."Captain Florence Jean Flablicker,along with her crew will take you to
Cookamungus X,and will be responsible for your care,and safety.Captain Wilber E. Beaner will fly all of you down to the
planet,and onto one of the many floating islands that the modern Coocamungians live on since the Boo Boo is too big to."
Queen Coo Coo Puff took a sip of water,and continued...
"Miss FiFi Bee Bee,and her staff will provide meals,and cleaning services to
everyone on board."
"Ooh!Goody,goody!" Lady Tuna sarcastically snipped...
"You are also in for a treat when you arrive on Coocamungus X.The Cookamungians
have invited all of you to take part in their yearly holiday called GOOGA PUNG PUNG,or the NIGHT OF THE FLAMING TURDS."

A video presentation appears on screen,and everyone starts watching the
Cookamungians doing their holiday activities.The queen continues to narrate...
"As you can see the Cookamungians are making preparations for Googa Pung Pung,
where they collect their yearly saved feces,and toss them in a massive bonfire to burn.Some mold sculptures with their shit,
and throw them in the fire to please their gods.Others make tablets made in shit,carving prayers,scriptures,and wishes into
them for good luck & hope." The queen explained.Everyone gave out approving "Oohs" & "Aahs" as the queen spoke...
"This concludes our presentation.Captain Flablicker will provide answers to all
your questions if any.Good luck with the mission." The queen's transmission ended,and the screen went dark.Captain Flablicker
came back to the podium...
"Do any of ya have any questions?" She asked.Herbert raised his hand...
"Do they have pudding on their planet?"
"I don't know,Honey.You'll find out when you get there."
Lady Tuna raised her hand...
"Yes,Ambassador Tuna?"
"Yes,I would like to know why everytime we go on some fucked up Coo Coo mission,
that bitchy know it all FiFi Bee Bee is always here to cater for us? Ain't there anybody else in this fuckin' galaxy who
can cook shit & stuff besides her?"
"Eh,Oh my goodness! Lady Tuna please?!" Mr.Beaner pleaded with her not to go
"Well,me sorry Mister Beaner,but shit!" Ambassador Tuna told him.FiFi Bee Bee
stood up from her chair with a pissed off look on her face...

"Well,if you don't like me cooking your din din for you,perhaps you prefer to
eat your own dooky than?!" FiFi yelled at her...

"You gotta plate & fork,Bitch?!" Ambassador Tuna snapped back at her.FiFi let
out a scream.Captain Flablicker pounded her gavel on the podium...

"FiFi sit your ass down,Honey!Now that is enough out of you two nasty bitches!
This is some serious shit that's about to go down,and we can't fuck it up!Do you understand me,ya'll?!" Captain Flablicker
scorned them all...
"NOW DISMISS!!!" She slammed down her gavel,and ended the meeting.

While the diplomats took a tour on the bridge of the Mierda Yubaba.The warning
system was activated...
"Captain Flablicker? Several small ships have appeared out of nowhere! They're
attacking us!"
"What the?!......."
Different exterior shots of the smaller ships attacking the Boo Boo with sonic
fart bursts,followed by interior shots of the bridge shaking violently to loud farting sounds.Everyone is shouting &
screaming,as the diplomats fall to the floor in a pile...

"We've got space pirates,captain!" The commander explained...
"Space pirates! Oh,my gawd! Damage report,Honey!"
"Their weapons are primitive,so our force field is holding up to their attack.
However,they keep attacking us with those sonic fart blasts,they can disrupt our navigational meaties,causing us to go off
course.We could end up lost,drifting out into deep Coo Coo Space." The commander warned her.Lady Tuna came forward to
"Ahem!...I couldn't help myself from overhearing about your little dilemma,
Captain Flablicker.Here?...Allow me? Being a former space pirate,I know how to deal with such riff raff.Tee,hee,hee!"
Captain Flablicker reluctantly gave up her chair,and Lady Tuna sat down...
"Ensign? Target blasters at that larger ship,and open a channel."
Lady Tuna ordered...
"The larger one,Ambassador Tuna?"
"Why,yeahs! It's more likely that the leader,the head cheese is on that ship.
They always like to have everything bigger than what their comrades have,to compensate for what they lack between their
"Target locked,and communications are open,Ambassador Tuna."
"Excellent! Tee,hee,hee!"
On the large video screen an old fat bearded man with a eye patch appears...
"Aurgh! Surrender your Boo Boo,or die a painful death!"Threatened the pirate...
"Tee,hee,hee! I don't think so,Asshole! This is Captain Tuna,and I'm in control
of this Boo Boo!"
On screen the pirate appears to be afraid...
"Oh,Captain Tuna please forgive me? We didn't know that you were onboard."
"Tee,hee,hee!Well unfortunately it looks like you found out the hard way that
I am! Ensign,open fire!"
"NOOOOO!!!" The pirate screamed out on screen.Lasers shoot out of the Mierda
Yubaba,and destroys the main pirate ship...
"As for the rest of you scruffy little turds out there! Leave this part of
Coo Coo Space at once! Cuz if you don't,I'll turn this Boo Boo around,and fuck your asses up with my blasters!"
The smaller pirate ships backed off,and headed out into deep Coo Coo Space.
Everyone on the bridge applauded Lady Tuna...

"Oh,why thank you! Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna got up,and took a bow.Captain
Flablicker who was standing behind her,noticed she wasn't wearing any panties...

"Ah,Ambassador Tuna? Did you just sit in my chair with your barenaked behind?"
"Oh,I guess me did,Captain Flablicker.My bad.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Ensign? Contact maintenance,and have them remove,sterilize,and destroy this
chair at once,Honey!"
"And make sure they replace it with a new one.Oooh!"

Hostess FiFi smiled as she greeted the diplomats when they entered the lounge.
So far things were going smoothly without any mishaps.Her servers were doing a wonderful job dishing out all the yummy
fooda to the guests.The pizza pat'e sculptured centerpiece was beautiful,as well as the fondue fountain flowing in it's
cheesy goodness.Even Herbert was content with his big bowl of chocolate pudding,looking up blissfully while stuffing a
big spoonful of it in his mouth,and then...Lady Tuna entered the lounge.FiFi's smile of self satisfaction turned into a
bitter frown...
"Ambassador Tuna? Will you be dining with us tonight?" FiFi asked,trying to
be professional...
"I think not.I'll be ordering room service tonight,depending if I can find
any good dick around here." Lady Tuna responded...

"More likely she'll be scooping it out of her toilet tonight!" FiFi thought
under her fake smile.Lady Tuna noticed that 2T2 floated by...

"Say you?...Um...Ah,Number Two is it?" Lady Tuna shouted trying to get 2T2's
attention.2T2 turned around,and gave her a faux aspirated response...

"I am not Number Two!" 2T2 replied...
"Tee,hee,hee!Me didn't think so.Say,where's your pal Mister Beaner? I don't
see him around?" Lady Tuna wondered...
"He's at the hot tubs relaxing his old tired meaties."
"Uh,huh.Thanks!" Lady Tuna rushed off...
"Gee,should I warn him?...Nah,fuck it!"

Mr.Beaner was relaxing in the hot steaming pool when he noticed someone got
into the water,and sat next to him...
"Eh,Oooh!It's you!What are you doing here?!"
"It's a public bath.I can come in here if me want to.Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna
told him...
"Eh,do you have to sit so close?" Mr.Beaner snapped.Lady Tuna moved over away
from him... "Excuse me grumpy cheeks!Tee,hee,hee!Aaaaah!This takes me back to when we were
on Tunakia.Remember?"
"Eh,I'm trying very hard to forget." Mr.Beaner told her.Lady Tuna felt something
fall off her crotch.She reached down for a feel...

"Eh,what's the matter? Did your vagina fall off?"
"No,but close!My gems came off.I guess the glue holding them on dissolved."
Lady Tuna began feeling around the bottom of the hot tub for them,when she accidentally grabbed Mr.Beaner's penis instead...
"Eh,ooh! Watch what you're grabbing down there,you naughty Noo Noo!"
"Oops!Tee,hee,hee!I grabbed the wrong jewels!Oh,it feels all soft & mushy.I'm
surprised you didn't get a little hard from me touching it,Mister Beaner.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Eh,that's because I can't anymore." Mr.Beaner told her.A look of shock came
over Lady Tuna's face...
"You can't what? What the fuck do you mean it can't anymore?"
"Eh,it means I can't get it up anymore.I'm...I'm impotent."
Lady Tuna stood up from the hot tub all wet,and naked.She clutched her fists
tightly,and winced...
"NOOOOO!!!What the fuck,Mister Beaner! What the fuck!" Lady Tuna runs out of
the baths sobbing,she bumps into FiFi...
"What are you crying about? You would think after all these years you would be
use to Mister Beaner's rejections by now!" FiFi told her...

"(Sniff)It's worse than that,you Bitch! Mister Beaner's dinky is no more!"
"His dinky?!" FiFi storms into the baths to confront Mr.Beaner...
"What is she talking about,Mister Beaner?"
"Eh,it's true FiFi.I have an erectile dysfunction.I can't hootchy cootchy
FiFi stood there for a moment,trying to process what Mr.Beaner had just told
her.Then her frustration had builded up into a scream...

"AAAAAAAAAH!!! For fuck's sake,Mister Beaner!" FiFi shouted at him...
"Eh,it's not like we're together anymore,FiFi!" Mr.Beaner snapped...
"Yes,well I was thinking of letting you do me for old times sake,but that's
not going to happen now!" FiFi told him.She turned around,and rushed out of the baths...
"Eh,oh shit!" Mr.Beaner farts in the hot tub.2T2 floats up to FiFi...
"Say FiFi? If you're in the mood? You can always take a ride on my stripper
pole?" 2T2 extended his huge stainless steel penis at her.She let out another scream...

"AAAAAAH!!! Pervert!" FiFi slapped him so hard,he went into the spins...
"YIIIIIIKES!!!" When he manage to stop himself from spinning,Lady Tuna caught
an eyeful of his metal rod...
"Whoa!Hubba,hubba!Oh,I didn't know you had one of those?!Tee,hee,hee!"
"Uh,oh! What have I done?" 2T2 muttered...
"You? Come with me now! Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna demanded,as she grabbed his
tubular arm,and dragged him off to her room...

"Oh,geez! It's a good thing I can shut off my sense of smell!" 2T2 told himself.

Lady Tuna laid across her bed in a sexy pose,as 2T2 was about to leave...

"Ah,can I contact you sometime for another romp?" Lady Tuna flirted with him.
2T2 detached his stainless steel penis,and flopped it on her bed...

"Here! Keep it!" He told her as he quickly exited out the door.Lady Tuna got
up,and pulled out what looked like a laptop computer from under her bed.She opened it to contact Sammymede...

"Lady Tuna?" Sammymede answered...
"No! It's your grand mammy!" Lady Tuna gruffed...
"I told you to contact us only if it's an emergency! Coo Coo Command might be
tracing your transmission!"
"It is an emergency you Asshole!Last night I got in a hot tub with Mister
Beaner,and the gems fell off my pussy! I'm afraid that the 'You Know What' might be damaged too!"
"The laser case is waterproof."
"Yes.Cookamungus X is a very damp,humid,and wet planet,pretty much like your
pussy is."
"Don't worry about the gems.You already pass their security clearance.Just put
the gems on your nightstand,and forget about them."
"Ah,another thing?"
"Yes,my mistress?"
"I did the dirty with Mister Beaner's floating trash can last night."
"You had sex with a Clausin?"
"Well,you know me.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Let me run a diagnostic signal to see if it's still operational."
Lady Tuna notices a green LED blinking on her vagina...
"The laser is working fine."
"Oh,thank you Sammymede.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Anytime,my mistress."

Mr.Beaner & Captain Flablicker were standing outside the Pelican as the crew
lowered Ambassador Wa Wa Bubblebump's large fish bowl into the opening on top of the ship with a futuristic crane...
"Is everybody on board,Honey?"
"Eh,no.We're still waiting for Ambassador Tuna."
"I heard of being fashionably late,but in her case she's probably having trouble
packing her jumbo size dildo!"
"Eh,oh here she comes now! It's about damn time!"
"Yoo,hoo!Here I am!Wait for me!Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna shouted on the walk way
above.A startled Mr.Beaner,and Captain Flablicker looking up at her.As she hurried down the metal stairs with great haste,
Lady Tuna slipped on her back,and fell down the stairs.Her head banging against the metal steps,as her skirt rolled up.
When she hit the bottom,her legs were up in the air,exposing her cha cha to everyone looking.Mr.Beaner & Captain Flablicker
turned around in disgust...
"Eh,oh my goodness!"
"She is just plain nasty,Honey!"
Two technicians lifted Lady Tuna off the floor.She pulled down her skirt,and
patted herself off...
"Oh,me so sorry I'm late.I had some last minute packing to do.Tee,hee,hee!"
Lady Tuna giggled,as someone came up to her,and handed her,her carry on bag...

"Eh,just get on board,and quit farting around!" Mr.Beaner shouted at her...
"Oh,whatever you say,Wimpy Weiner!Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna giggled her way up
the ramp of the Pelican...
"Eh,well I'm off to Cookamungus X,Captain Flablicker."
"Good luck down there Honey,and make sure you keep an eye on that Bitch."
"Eh,I will."
"The Cookamungian Ambassador Toodles Twatwaffle is waiting down below on that
floating island for a meet & greet with you all,Honey."
Mr.Beaner came aboard the Pelican,and sat next to 2T2 at the controls.FiFi,and
Herbert sat behind them strapped in their chairs...

"Start her up,2T2.Let's get going."
"Alrighty then." 2T2 activated the controls.The lights around the rim of the
toilet shaped Pelican came on,just as the back engines glowed a bright orange...

"Eh,this is Captain Beaner.Permission to leave the hub?"
"Permission granted Captain Beaner.Have a safe trip."
"Eh,oh thank you."
The Pelican lifted off,and headed out of the hub.It flew out into Coo Coo Space,
and headed to the planet Cookamungus X.

The Pelican orbited Cookamungus X,and began to descend into the atmosphere of
the planet...
"Everyone embrace yourselves.We are entering the atmosphere." 2T2 informed them,
as he set the coordinates to one of the modern cities on the floating island below...

"We'll be at the designated quadrant in a few minutes." The Pelican was about
to land on one of the landing platforms when it was hit with some very strong turbulence that disrupted the ship's landing
"Eh,Ooooh!2T2 pull up!We're gonna crash!" Mr.Beaner feared...
"I'm trying!"
The Pelican overshot the landing platform,and hit the corner edge of it,ripping
a huge gash on the left side of the toilet bowl section...

"Oh,fuckin' shitballs! There's a breach! We're losing pressure!"
The Pelican swirled around out of control,as it was falling to the swampy jungled
surface of the planet.Inside the Pelican,FiFi was screaming as the ship depressurized,and the loud emergency alert came on.
Everything shook violently inside the red flashing ship,as the hole became a vaccum...

"Eh,ooooh!FiFi hang on!" Mr.Beaner shouted to FiFi as she sat behind him bouncing
around in her chair.Screaming her head off while her boobs were flapping up & down.Herbert sat next to her with a big smile
on his face,while his eyes batted back & forth at the chaos around him.He wasn't phased by what was going on.The ambassadors
in the back of the Pelican hung on for dear life until they were sucked out of the hole to their screaming deaths.Lady Tuna
was about to suffer the same fate,but one of her hair puffs got snagged on a support beam...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Lady Tuna screamed out as her body was lifted up horizontally,
flapping away like some ugly flag in the wind.The huge fish bowl of Ambassador Wa Wa Bubblebump rolled across the floor with
him inside,splashing water all over the ship.Water had splashed on to the controls,causing sparks & smoke.The fish bowl had
gotten lodged in the hole...
"Oh,shit!The console shorted out!I'll have to plug myself into the ship's Boo Boo
Matrix Stabilizer in order to control the Pelican's functions!" A long adapter rod popped out of 2T2,and he plugged himself
into an outlet under the console...
"Aaaah!Fuck Yeah!That feels good!" 2T2 moaned in pleasure...
"Eh,2T2!This isn't the time to get your Coo Coos off!Take control of the ship!"
Mr.Beaner shouted...
"Oh,alright!" 2T2 activated the Pelican's reverse thrusters to slow down the ship,
but it didn't work...
"The velocity is too fast!We can't slow down!I'm gonna steer the Pelican into those
giant vines!" 2T2 steered the Pelican to the right,and down into the canopies of some large jungle trees...

"Everyone brace yourselves!" 2T2 shouted,as the Pelican was smashing into the long,
gigantic tree vines...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" FiFi screamed as the vines busted out the cockpit windows.The
Pelican eventually slowed down to a halt.Mangled & tangled up in a massive wad of vines,and root systems of some huge trees...
"Eh,oh!Is everybody okay?"
"Yes,Mister Beaner!" FiFi responded...
"Ooh!Yeahs!" Herbert shouted with glee...
"We better check on the ambassadors in the back to make sure they're okay!"

2T2 suggested.Mr.Beaner,2T2,FiFi,and Herbert made their way through the smashed,
darkened ship to the back.When they got there,all they found was Lady Tuna leaning up against the support beam...

"Eh,what in Coo Coo blazes happened? Where are all the ambassadors?" Mr.Beaner
feared.Everyone was looking around in shock.Herbert was scratching his head in confusion...

"They're gone." Lady Tuna responded in a raspy voice...
"Got sucked out of that big hole.I would've been too,but my hair puff got caught
on this pole.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Eh,you mean the ambassadors are all dead?!"
"Eh,but yet you somehow managed to survive?"
"Oh,Yass!!!Just me,and Fishy over there.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Eh,Fishy?!Ooh!" Everyone turned around to face the big cracked fish bowl to find
Ambassador Wa Wa laying in a puddle of dirty water,gasping for air...

"Oooh!Oh,dear!" FiFi squealed as she ran over to aid the dying fish...
"We better get him into some water before he suffocates.I detected a small lake
a few yards away.We need to move the fish bowl away from the hole,so I can bring him there." 2T2 told them...
"Eh,oh yes! Of course!" Everyone pushed the fish bowl away from the hole.2T2
carefully picked up Ambassador Wa Wa,and glided him out the hole...
"Uh,I don't mean to be a bug,but can somebody cut me loose?Tee,hee,hee!"
"Eh,Oh!" Mr.Beaner walked over to Lady Tuna,and tried to untangle her hair...
"Eh,now hold still Lady Tuna."
"Okay.Tee,hee,hee!" With a swift hard pull,Mr.Beaner ripped off part of her hair
puff from the beam...
"Eh,now come on!I don't want to lose 2T2!" Everyone crawled out of the hole on
the side of the Pelican,and followed 2T2 to the lake.At the lake's shore 2T2 carefully lowered Ambassador Wa Wa into the
"There you go,ambassador."
"Eh,how is the ambassador doing,2T2?"
"He's doing much better.He's adapting to the water quickly.I think he likes it
here." 2T2 told him as he watched Ambassador Wa Wa happily swimming around in the lake...
"Eh,is there any way we can save the Pelican?" Mr.Beaner wondered...
"Are you fuckin' kidding me? She's smashed to bits! Even if she had power,the
Hypertonic Neutron Ookie Distributor is so badly damaged,that it would poison our meaties if activated! Let's face it.
The Pelican is no more!"
"Eh,oh no!How are we gonna get out of here?"
"I do not know.My built in communicator doesn't have the range due to all the
thick trees,and plants.I'm going to make an attempt to float up to one of the modern cities on that floating island above
to get help."
"Eh,you think you can make it that high up,2T2?"
"I don't have a choice.I can't stay here with you.All this moisture & humidity
will eventually shut down my synthetic meaties,and I will be no use to you."
"Eh,okay 2T2.Please be careful up there."
"Alright.All of you stay put,so I can find you,and Mister Beaner keep an eye on
'You Know Who'?" 2T2 nodded to Lady Tuna...
"Eh,oh I will." 2T2 floated up to the island above,as everyone looked up,and
"Bye,bye!" Herbert shouted.FiFi turned around to face the lake,and noticed
Ambassador Wa Wa was missing...
"Mister Beaner,where did Ambassador Wa Wa go?" FiFi was concern...
"Eh,I don't know FiFi? Maybe he had to take a underwater dookie,or something?"
"Ooh,I don't like this.I don't like this at all.I'm worried." FiFi told him...
"Oh,what's that over there?" Herbert pointed out in the lake.Mr.Beaner,FiFi,
and Lady Tuna turned to look at something blood red bubbling out of the lake.Ambassador Wa Wa's fish head popped up from
the water's surface with blood coming out of his mouth.The fish head then turned over to it's side to reveal it had been
bitten off.FiFi let out a blood curdling scream...


Rising out of the lake was a gigantic alien T-Rex creature with huge pointed
teeth,and horns.Mr.Beaner was so scared he farted...
"Eh,ooh!Oh,my fuckin'goodness!"
The creature over shadowed them,letting out a loud roar that smelled like
rotting fish...
"Phew!And people say my pussy smells bad.Tee,hee,hee!" Said Lady Tuna...
"Eh,run!Everybody run into the jungle!" Mr.Beaner shouted.They all ran into
the jungle with FiFi screaming her head off,and Lady Tuna giggling wildly.The alien creature splashed on shore,and chased
after them...
"Tee,hee,hee!Ooh,he's chasing me!Tee,hee,hee!"Lady Tuna giggled with excitement.
As they were running,a strange creature that looked like a fuzzy meatball with stick figure legs jumped out at them.They
all fell to the side...
"ARF!" The alien T-Rex picked up the fuzzy meatball creature with it's teeth,
flung him up in the air,and swallowed him whole with one loud gulp...
"Eh,everyone get your funky butts up!We got to get the fook out of here!"
They continued to run through the jungle until they came across a clearing.Mr.Beaner,FiFi,and Herbert hid behind some moss
covered rocks,but Lady Tuna turned around,and stayed out in the open...
"Eh,what the fook are you doing,Lady Tuna?!Get out of there!" The alien T-Rex
creature stopped,and looked down at Lady Tuna,letting out another roar at her.Lady Tuna gave it a wicked grin,and started
rolling her eyes.Making all kinds of goofy coo coo faces at the creature.The perplexed creature started to scratch it's
head in confusion...
"Mister Beaner? What is she doing?" FiFi wondered...
"Eh,you're asking me? How in fookin' blazes should I know?" Mr.Beaner told her.
Lady Tuna began barking at the T-Rex,making it take a few cautious steps towards her...

"Roof,roof,ruff,ruff,ruff!" Lady Tuna barked.With a blink of an eye,she wisked
her skirt up,and shot a laser blast from her vaginal weapon at the creature's chest area.The alien T-Rex ran off into the
jungle,yelping in pain.Mr.Beaner,FiFi,and Herbert came out of hiding.They walked over to Lady Tuna who was fanning her
"Who's queen of the jungle now,Bitch!Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna shouted...
"Eh,what was that,that came out of your crotch?" Mr.Beaner wanted to know...
"If you really want to know,my trusted scientist Sammymede installed a laser
blaster up my snatch for protection.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Eh,you're not suppose to have any weapons at all on this mission!It's against
Coo Coo Command regulations!If the Coo Coo,Cumbus,Clausin Council finds out you smuggled a weapon up in your naughty fun
hole,you are gonna be in a deep doo doo pile of trouble!"
"Well,tough titty shit,Mister Goody Goody!Cuz my Pink Fuzzy just saved all of
your hinnies,so there! Nah!" Lady Tuna stuck her tongue out at Mr.Beaner.FiFi's eyes widen as she noticed movement all
around them in the jungle...
"Mister Beaner? I see something moving around out there in the trees!"
"Eh,Oh!" Before they could respond,they were surrounded by naked primitive
Cookamungian natives that came out in the open...
"Eh,Oh!We're surrounded by Cookamungian natives!" Mr.Beaner shouted...
"Oooh!Mister Beaner I'm scared!" Said FiFi...
"You want me to blast them away?" Lady Tuna suggested...
"Eh,No! Don't you dare! We're trying to make peace with these people!Now pull
down your skirt before you start a intergalactic war!"
"Ooh! They're naked! I can see their thingies hanging down!" FiFi squealed,
trying to cover her eyes...
"Oh,what's the matter FiFi? You wouldn't like having four green peckers going
in & out of your holes at once? You don't like,FiFi? You don't like? Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna joked & teased her...
"Oh! You're disgusting!"

One Cookamungian came forward.He was different from the others.He wore a plum
colored cloth sash over his shoulder,and a crown on his head made of various berries...
"Greetings,strange beings!" He greeted them in a deep loud voice...
"I am King Googie Googie,leader of the Chika Boombada Clan." King Googie Googie
clapped his hands...
"Come my people!Let's make our guests more comfortable & welcomed!" The rest
of the Cookamungians moved in,and began stripping off their clothes...
"Ooh!Stop it!Stop it!You naughty natives!" FiFi screamed & slapped them.Lady
Tuna on the other hand was quite enjoying the attention...
"Ooh!Oh,yahs!Me like this!Tee,hee,hee!"
When they pulled down Mr.Beaner's britches,the Cookamungians jumped back,and
gasped in amazement at the size of his penis...
"Your penis?! It is so big! You must be a powerful ruler among your people!"
"Eh,well I don't know about that." A blushing Mr.Beaner gushed...
"You will be our guest of honor at our holiday feast.I'll introduce you to my
daughter.She is always looking for new husbands.Even though you only have one big penis,she might be interested in it."
Together,both FiFi & Lady Tuna shouted in unison...
The king's expression changed from peaceful to anger...
"How dare you shout at me when I am speaking!Just for that,you two females will
be punished for your outburst!" The king growled...
"Eh,oh please forgive them your majesty.They don't know any better." Mr.Beaner
pleaded to him...
"Very well.Normally we would beat them to death with our penises,but since you
are the guest of honor,they will be sent to work in the food hut to help with the celebration feast." The king clapped his
hands twice...
"Guards!Take them to the food hut to help Granny Nanny Gibble Gunk with the food
for our feast."
"Ooh!Mister Beaner?" FiFi whimpered as the guard grabbed her arm...
"Eh,shhh! You,and Lady Tuna just go along with it.2T2 should be back soon with
some help."
"Your majesty? What about the other male?" The guard asked,pointing to Herbert
who was picking his nose...
"Take him to the food hut too for having a teeny tiny penis!"
"Oh,goody! Me like food!" Herbert shouted as he was taken away.


"I sure hope that flying trash can comes back,and gets me the fuck out of here,
before they find out Mister Beaner's dinky don't work no more!" Lady Tuna worried...
"Quiet,you whore! Maybe you don't mind being beaten with huge green weenies,
but I do!" FiFi snapped at her.Lady Tuna was about to fire back when they arrived at the food hut.A very old Cookamungian
woman with four sagging titties came out...
"Granny Nanny Gibble Gunk,the king has sent these three outsiders to help you
prepare the food." The guard informed her...
"Yuck! Such ugly Coo Coos they are!" She turned around in disgust...
"Very well,bring them inside!" They followed Granny inside the food hut.FiFi
looked around at all the tables of fruits,vegetables,and breads...
"Well I did my part,now you Lazy Shits get to work,cuz I'm taking a flower bath,
and getting ready for the festival tonight."
"Wait a minute!We don't know what to do with all this stuff!" FiFi shouted at
"Well,it's not like we have a variety of things to eat now do we,Sassy Lassie!"
Granny got in FiFi's face...
"You figure it out!" Granny told them as she left with the guards...
"Well,I don't know nuttin' about cookin'!" Lady Tuna said as she slammed her
hands down on the table...
"Me don't know either!" Herbert added.FiFi looked around the hut,and at all the
food on the tables.Over at the window,she noticed six large bowls full of muddy green goo...
"I wonder what that stuff is?" FiFi wondered as she walked over to the window
where the bowls were.Lady Tuna,and Herbert followed her...
"If I didn't know better,I would guess that it was dooky.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Don't be silly!Why would the Cookamungians leave their poo near their food?
It's unsanitary!" FiFi told her...
"Is it pudding?" Herbert hoped...
"I...I don't know?"
"Why don't you let puddin'boy here taste it to find out?Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna
suggested as she grinned,and giggled at Herbert...
"Okay." FiFi grabbed a stick,and poked it into one of the bowls.She then handed
it over to Herbert to taste.Herbert made a funny face,and spitted it out...
"Yucky! It taste like spinach!"
"Spinach? Then it must be edible!" FiFi was quite pleased,suddenly a light bulb
popped on over her head...
"I got it!We'll make veggie meatballs!" FiFi shouted with glee...
"Veggie Meatballs?" Questioned a confused Lady Tuna...
"Yes!We'll chop up all these vegetables,and use this green stuff as a binder.
We'll then add the vegetables,and roll them into large balls about the size of grapefruits."
"Okay,you're the boss.Tee,hee,hee!" Lady Tuna shrugged & giggled...
"What's the matter? Gotta tinkle?" Lady Tuna wondered...
"No!Look at the fire pit? That lazy old Cookamungian Bitch didn't start a fire!"
Lady Tuna looked over at the pit which was filled with old coals,rocks,and charred logs of wood...
"Step aside woman,and allow me!Tee,hee,hee!" With a pelvic thrust,and a grunt,
Lady Tuna shot out a bright red laser beam out of her vagina,and into the fire pit.The rocks of coal glowed a bright red,
giving off a massive amount of heat that dried out the humidity inside the hut...
"Oh,goody!" FiFi cheered & clapped.


Mr.Beaner was escorted to the royal courtyard where three thrones overlooked it.
Many Cookamungians where putting rocks,wood,and dried plant material in the center circle for the bonfire,so they can burn
their feces in it...
"Ah,here is my wife & daughter,Mister Beaner." Mr.Beaner turned around to see
King Googie Googie's wife & daughter coming towards them with their entourage...
"Mister Beaner this is my wife Queen Heehooha Heeha Ha,and my daughter Princess
Linka Linka Ya Ya." Mr.Beaner bowed to the both of them...
"Look my wife? He has only one penis,but look how big & long it is?" King Googie
Googie pointed out,as the queen nodded her approval.The three Cookamungian royals sat down on their thrones...
"Come Mister Beaner,and sit beside me.Soon they will light the bonfire,so we can
start the ceremony of the burning poo.Perhaps if you need to take a dooky,you could throw it into the bonfire,and make a
"Eh,thank you your majesty,but I don't need to right now."
"Hmm.I'm getting hungry.I hope your two females provide a tasty feast for all of
us to eat?"
"Eh,well FiFi is a good cook,but Lady Tuna on the other hand...She's a slut."
The king put his head back,and chuckled...

FiFi,Lady Tuna,and Herbert were chopping vegetables,and adding them to a very
large bowl filled with the green goo they found.Herbert stops what he is doing,and looks at Lady Tuna...
"Do you like pudding?" Herbert asked her.Lady Tuna stops chopping,and looks at
"You keep asking me that,and I'm gonna burn a hole right through your head!"
Lady Tuna warned him...
"Oh,okay." Herbert told her.Lady Tuna rolled her eyes,and shook her head in
"More chopping,and less chatting you two!We don't have much time!" FiFi snapped
at them...
"Yes,mother dear." Lady Tuna said with a wicked smile.FiFi gave her a stern look,
and continued to chop vegetables.When they were done they mixed in the vegetables,and rolled the mixture into grapefruit
size balls.FiFi gathered up some large leaves,and wrapped the balls in them.She then placed them on the hot rocks to cook.

Nightfall had come,and the bonfire's flames roared upward to the stars.Mr.Beaner
sat beside King Googie Googie watching the native Cookamungians dance & chant around the bonfire,and tossing in their dooky
to burn.Mr.Beaner looked up at the night sky,watching one of the floating islands pass by.He could see all of the bright
lights of the skyscrapers on top where the modern Cookamungians lived...
"Eh,2T2? Where in Coo Coo's Ghost are you?" Mr.Beaner thought to himself.He
jumped up when the king clapped his hands...
"Come! Bring on the food!" King Googie Googie shouted.A row of servants came into
the courtyard with wooden platters of FiFi's veggie meatballs.King Googie Googie eyes widen as he licked his chops at the
sight of the hot steaming balls.He stabbed one of them with what looked like a bamboo spork,and brought it up to his mouth
to taste...
"Mmmmmmm! Tasty!" King Googie Googie shouted in pleasure.He then invited everyone
in his village to join in,including Mr.Beaner...
"They're yummy!" The queen blissfully shouted.Mr.Beaner grabbed one of the balls,
and took a bite.He didn't like them at all,but tried very hard not to show his hosts of his distaste.The whole village loved
the veggie meatballs,and gobbled them up with great gusto...
"Guards! Go to the food hut,and bring Mister Beaner's females to me.I wish to
complement them on the wonderful meatballs they made for our feast." The guards bowed to the king,and headed to the food hut.
When the guards arrived & entered the food hut,they took notice of the empty bowls scattered around the hut.FiFi,Lady Tuna,
and Herbert stood there looking at them...
"What happen to the shit that was in these bowls?" The guard asked FiFi...
"Shit? I thought it was food?" FiFi answered,as a confused look came over her
"FOOD?! That wasn't food! It was shit!"
"SHIT?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" FiFi screamed with her hands on her cheeks.
Lady Tuna covered her mouth,and giggled...
"Great Turdra! You fed our king shit? It was meant to be burned for the Googa
Pung Pung celebration!"
"I didn't mean to..." FiFi cried out...
"Bring them! We must warn the king before he eats another bite!" The guards
grabbed FiFi,Herbert,and Lady Tuna.They rushed to the royal courtyard,as FiFi continued screaming.

The celebration of Googa Pung Pung was in full swing.The Cookamungians were
enjoying themselves as they ate,danced,and threw their dooky into the bonfire.King Googie Googie plucked the last of the
veggie balls,and offered it to Mr.Beaner...
"Would you like the last veggie ball Mister Beaner?"
"Eh,no thank you,your majesty."
"Very well." The king was about to chomp it down when his guard shouted out...
"What? Why not?"
The celebration all came to a complete stop as the Cookamungians started
gagging & puking all over the place...
"Eh,FiFi! You made me eat dooky!"
"I'm so sorry,Mister Beaner!"
"This is an outrage!Guards!Seize them,and throw them into the bonfire as a
sacrifice to our gods!" King Googie Googie ordered.Lady Tuna looked up at the canopy made of huge leaves above.She sliced
through the vines that held it up with her pussy laser,and it came crashing down on them.She,Mr.Beaner,FiFi,and Herbert
crawled out from under the canopy,making a run for it into the pitch black jungle with FiFi screaming all the way.A group
of Cookamungians grabbed torches & spears.They chased after them shouting "Rugga,Rugga,Rugga,Rugga!"...
"Eh,Lady Tuna do something!" Mr.Beaner pleaded to her...
"Oh,you want me to do something now? Listen you Old Fart!If you let me blast
them in the first place,none of this fuckin' silly shit would've happened!" Lady Tuna cussed him out...
"Eh,just do it!" Lady Tuna shot off an array of pulsing laser blasts at the
native Cookamungians.Scaring them back to their village deep in the jungle...
"Eh,you did it!"
"Aww! Are you proud of me,Mister Beaner? Tee,hee,hee!"
"Eh,ooh!" Everyone jumped when a bright spotlight shined on them from above.
They looked up to see a Cookamungian shuttle craft hovering over them. A sliding door opened up on it,and 2T2 floated
"Where have you been?I told you guys to stay near the ship! Why are all of you
naked,and where's Ambassador Wa Wa?" 2T2 wanted to know...
"Eh,never mind 2T2! Just get us the fook out of here!" Mr.Beaner snapped. The
shuttle picked them up,and brought them to one of the modern cities above.

When the shuttle arrived,and landed on a platform.Mr.Beaner,2T2,FiFi,Herbert,
and Lady Tuna were greeted by Ambassador Toodles Twatwaffle of Cookamungus X...
"Eh,Ambassador Twatwaffle I'm sad to report that most of our diplomats are
dead.I don't know about our mission here now?"
"That's quite alright Captain Beaner.We really just wanted Lady Tuna,and you
delivered her to us."
"Eh,what? Lady Tuna?" Mr.Beaner was confused...
"GUARDS! ARREST HER!" Ambassador Twatwaffle ordered.Two guards handcuffed
Lady Tuna,and held her by the arms...
"Eh,I don't understand? I thought this was a mission of peace?"
"We staged this little diplomatic mission as a ruse to lure Lady Tuna here,
and charge her with war crimes against our planet,including murder."
"Eh,you mean you don't want to make peace with the Coo Coo,Cumbus,Clausin
"Eh,but why Ambassador Twatwaffle? Why?"
"Well,to put it lightly Captain Beaner.We're just a bunch of assholes."
"Eh,but what about all those diplomats that lost their funky little lives
coming here?"
"I'm very sorry Captain Beaner,but their lives were expendable to us.We will
send our deepest condolences along with a fruit basket arrangement to their designated planets in hope that there are no
hard feelings."
"Eh,I don't believe it! I don't believe it at all!"
"Psst! Mister Beaner?" Lady Tuna whispered.Mr.Beaner turned to face her...
"Say,how about you bust off these restraints,and we blast our way out of here,
until we can hijack one of their ships off this planet?" Lady Tuna proposed...
"Eh,are you fuckin' kidding me?! Come on 2T2! Let's contact Captain Flablicker
to pick us up!" Mr.Beaner stormed off...
"Well,fine you old fuckin' bastard!"
"We are quite aware of the weapon you have in your vagina Lady Tuna,so we have
activated a ion meatie dampening field to de-activate it,and render it powerless." Ambassador Twatwaffle confronted her.
Lady Tuna turned to FiFi who was covering her naked body with a blanket...
"Hey,FiFi? You have some powerful connections right? Is there anyway you can
pull some strings,and get me out of this jam?"
"What? You want me to help you? I don't think so,you old skank!" FiFi scolded
"Why you stuck up fuckin' Hussy! I hope you get cooties up your cunt!" Lady
Tuna fired back...
"OOH!" FiFi stuck her nose up at her,and walked away.Lady Tuna looked over at
Herbert who stood there with a blank goofy look on his face...
"Say Puddin' Boy? You're an ambassador right?"
"Uh,huh." Herbert responded...
"And we're kind of buddies.You,and me right?"
"Is there anything you can do to get me out of this mess?"
"Oh,me have no I goodness."
"Well,I don't know what the fuck you just said,but it sounds like I'm fuckin'
"Guards take her away!" Ambassador Twatwaffle ordered.Herbert waved good bye
to Lady Tuna as they dragged her off.He then skipped away like a child to catch up to the others.

Queen Chaknee sat on the edge of his bed filing his nails when Sammymede rolled
in a large television into the room...
"What is it,Sammymede? Are the 'Housewives Of Tunakia' on?" Queen Chaknee
"No,my queen.I'm afraid it's much worse than that.We've received a transmission
from Cookamungus X.Lady Tuna was arrested & charged with war crimes,including murder against the Cookamungian Empire.She
is in court now waiting to be judged."
"Oh,dear!" Worried Queen Chaknee.Sammymede turned on the television.On screen
a naked Lady Tuna stood between two marble pillars as a Cookamungian guard strapped her to them.A council of six judges
stood over her on marble podiums eager to sentence Lady Tuna to death.


"Lady CaCa Carlakianna Booshayla,Evil Tyrant Of Tunakia,Evil Whore Of The Funkoo
Galaxy! You have been found guilty on all counts against the Cookamungian Empire! We sentence you to death by defecation!"
"Defecation? What's that?" Lady Tuna wondered...
"Oh,you'll find out soon enough Lady Tuna!Ha,ha,ha!" The judges laughed at her
as their podiums moved back into the darkness.Lady Tuna could hear the echoed sound of locks unlocking as the ceiling began
to open up...
"Ooooh!" Lady Tuna jumped back as a giant enormous green ass of some unknown
being was lowered down through the opening.It's sphincter loomed directly over Lady Tuna...
"Oh,crap! I'm in deep dooky now!" The doomed Lady Tuna spoke out.The gigantic
green ass let out a huge thunderous fart on top of Lady Tuna,knocking her back with it's shit smelling wind gusts...
"Phew! And people say my hiney smells!Tee,hee,hee!" She said.Lady Tuna looked
up to see the sphincter moving & loosening up like it was about to take a shit.Just then a massive boulder size turd slipped
out of it,rotating down on Lady Tuna like a bomb...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Lady Tuna let out a final scream,and was silenced when the
giant turd plopped on top of her,and mashed her into the floor...
"OOOOOOOOoooooooh.......!" Queen Chaknee cried out before fainting on his bed
from the shock.The giant green ass continued shitting on Lady Tuna.Bombarding her with monstrous size turds until her body
was entombed under a massive pile of shit.

Three months had passed,and Queen Chaknee was still unconscious from passing out
after witnessing Lady Tuna's fate.No one in the palace was attentive to him so he was covered in a layer of dust & cobwebs.
A door creaked open,and Sammymede entered the room.He walked over to Queen Chaknee's bed,and gave him a kiss on the lips.
Queen Chaknee woke up,and sneezed from the dust...
"Bless you,my queen." Sammymede responded...
"What happened?" Queen Chaknee wanted to know...
"About three months ago you fainted from watching Lady Tuna being mushed by
giant turds.I guess it was too much for you."
"Three months? Didn't you try to revive me?"
"Well,you looked so peaceful there asleep,I didn't have the heart to wake you.
Besides I needed a break."
Queen Chaknee sat up,and gave Sammymede an angry glare.There was a knock at the
"Enter!" One of the guards entered the room...
"Excuse me,your majesty.We received a very large crate from Cookamungus X."
"Cookamungus X?!"
"Yes,my queen.The other guards rolled it in through the main entrance way of
the palace,and into the royal court room."
"Oh,my arms & legs are stiff from sleeping all that time.Guard,you have to
carry me into the royal court." The guard walked over to the bed,and lifted the queen up,and carried him out of the room.
When they arrived in the royal court,the guard propped Queen Chaknee up on the throne.In the center of the room was a
huge crate...
"Shall I open it my queen?"
"I don't know,Sammymede.It could be a bomb of some kind."
"It was scanned before it was allowed in the palace,my queen.Nothing harmful
was detected."
"Very well,open it." When Sammymede opened the crate,the four panels fell back
to reveal a massive petrified pile of shit.Queen Chaknee was angry & appalled...
"This is a outrage! It's bad enough that they executed Lady Tuna,but to insult
us by sending us dooky at a low standard shipping rate! I'll destroy them!"
"Please calm down my queen.I contacted Cookamungus X,and requested that they
could send Lady Tuna's remains back to us for a proper burial."
"Well,you would think they would have the common decency to dig her out of there,
instead of sending the entire pile of poo that killed her! Savage bastards!"
The top of the pile of shit began to move.It was cracking & crumbling until
Lady Tuna popped out on top of the poop pile like a surprise cake...
"Oooooh!!!" Queen Chaknee fell back into his throne...
"Lady Tuna?! You're alive?!" Queen Chaknee was baffled...
"But how is that possible? You should of suffocated underneath all that dooky?"
"Perhaps I should explain,my queen." Sammymede intervened...
"I wish someone would?"
"You see,when I was weaponizing Lady Tuna's pussy.I was worried about her safety
in other ways.Like drowning in Cookamungus X's many ocean size swamps,or being ejected out into deep space by her enemies,
so I took the initiative of installing a mini life support system up inside her pussy hole,because not only can she sing
out of it,she can breathe out of it as well." Sammymede explained...
"What? Why wasn't I informed about this before? I was passed out for three long
months,because I thought she was dead!"
"I'm sorry,my queen.I just wanted to surprise you."
"Oh,you're sorry? You wanted to surprise me did you? Well,that tears it,you
little motherfucker! Guard!Fetch me a switch! I wish to whip Sammymede!"
"Now everybody just calm the fuck down! I'm alive,and that's all that matters!"
Lady Tuna interrupted.She was covered in powdered feces as she stepped down from the pile of shit...
"I'm so sorry,Lady Tuna.Lately I've been on edge over this crap."
"On edge? More like a crazy ass bitch to me.Tee,hee,hee!"
"Again,I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry,Chaknee.I would've done the same shit back in the day.I'm
"I...I'm so glad you're back Lady Tuna...Boo,hoo,hoo." Queen Chaknee started to
"Oh,stop your balling,Chaknee.You ain't gonna get rid of me that easy.Now how
about some din din? I'm starving to death.Tee,hee,hee!"
"You're absolutely right! Let's celebrate your return!"
"Oh,goody! Tee,hee,hee....AAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Lady Tuna slipped on a piece of dooky,
and fell back on the floor with her legs up in the air,exposing herself to Queen Chaknee & Sammymede...
"That's our Lady Tuna!"



© Copyright 2020 Joseph Small. All rights reserved.

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