Losing the love of your entire life.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Old love. To be reunited some day in a different place.

Submitted: January 03, 2012

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Submitted: January 03, 2012

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One day, years from now, I will look into your eyes, holding your petite hand in mine. You will look back wondering if we were as good to each other as we said we would be. You don’t know it, but I am wondering the same thing.

 

I assure you, somehow, that we outdid our vows to each other. I did everything I could to be good to you and for you. You never gave me any reason to ever believe that you didn’t do the same. We never did make it to that tropical island again, but we think about all we did achieve together. We will remember taking on the world together. We will remember creating together; building a home, a family and a life to be proud of.

 

You now begin to fade away more quickly, and your fears start to subside. We have no idea if we will ever see each other again. My fears are growing and consuming me. My heart is breaking, and the pain is unbearable. I have loved you my whole life, and within minutes, I know I will never speak to you again. I am afraid. What if I don’t tell you something I need to tell you. What if you fade before I tell you that you really made me everything I am. What if you fade, and I remember tomorrow. What if there is no heaven… what if…

 

I don’t know what I am going to do. You are gone, and I am alone in this world. Your hand is still warm, and I don’t want to let go. I know that when I do, it will be forever. I rest my head on your chest, as I have a million other times. The consolation I used to get from your heartbeat is replaced with fear over the deafening silence coming from what used to be so alive… I move my head, trying to chase it. There must be one beat left... Just one more breath... You are gone, but not… I feel empty and alone.

 

They rest you in the ground 3 days later. It is just me there there with the priest and a few distant family members. We have outlived all of the closest of our family… I am alone. I say my final goodbyes, and shed my tears. I don’t want to go home. I want to run away. I want to jump in front of a train. I don’t know what to do.

 

For a few weeks, I remain… lifeless. I might as well be gone as well. You and I are no longer. I just want to hold you one more time. I go to our room. Everything is the way it was. I will die with it this way. I have no reason to pack things away… I lie in bed. Listening to music that reminds me of you and me… when we were young and full of life. I cry myself to sleep, and wake up still holding your pillow… years later...

 

I have never let you go for even an instant.

 

 


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